Angela K. Crow - Beyond Yourself: A Spiritual Awakening

Preface

I f any of my story makes you feel uncomfortable, then good. It should. That means I have done my job of telling my truths in the light of Gods love and gracefor good and bad, to help others face their own reality and seek Gods truth above all else.

After seeing that some of my words, my truths were harsh and raw, I tried to soften them to make others feel more comfortable. But that only waters down the truth of my story, and it loses its flavor. That allows the enemy to have a foot in the doorto steal the thunder of my victory. It takes away from how much God really changed me and saved my life.

My story helps others who may be going through similar situations deal with their own truthgood and badand realize the enemy will tell us lies to keep us down, to keep us thinking that we are not good enough, not worthy enough, not loved enough, because of our mistakes.

I had to slam that door shut in the enemys face. The truth will set you free. My faith in God alone allowed me to release my trutheven the ugly partsinto the universe so others will seek Gods truth for themselves.

Everyone will have their own opinion of how much you should share, the words you should use, whether to even publish it or not. But it is not their story. They have their own story and truth to deal with on their own. This is my story. This is the path God set forth for me to walknot them. I only need to look to God for those answers and God alone. He is the only one who knows my truth, my heart, and the plan He has for me. I tried to allow these other voices to toss me like the wind, but God told me to stand my groundthis is my truth, not theirs.

I have exposed the enemy and bared my soul on these pages for one purposeto serve God and help others. I have changed the names of my abusers for their own protectionbut they also need to deal with their own abusive past and the hurt and pain they had in their own childhood. They need to seek help to end the cycle, because as Jon Weece says, Hurt people hurt people.

I have forgiven my abusers, but I dont have to trust them or befriend them. I sincerely pray for themthat they will find peace in a relationship with the Heavenly Father as I have. They can only do that by facing their truthsseeking help so they can forgive their abusers and ultimately themselves.

The enemy will fill you with lies to keep you down. God fills you with living water to revive and sustain you. This is enough to flow into the lives of others. I am like a water lilya beautiful bloom that emerges from the mud.

My truths have been validated by my counselorbut first and foremost by God. He has given me a victory that the enemy would like to shut down and steal. The more I shed light on my truth, the more the enemy loses, and my victory can impact the lives of others.

Other victims need to hear my truth, so they can climb out of the pit of shame and guilt to become the victor. People who havent experienced these crimes cant tell you to stay silent. Silence doesnt break the chains. We must be heard to shine a light on it and reveal it for what it is so it doesnt have a strong hold anymore.

I am His faithful servant. I will not hide from my truth. I want to live up to that name and title by putting my faith into action for Him.

Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works. (James 2:26)

So, dont be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. (James 1:1617)

We wont be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. (Ephesians 4:1416)

A message from the Holy Spirit: Proof of faith is in your actions. Release this book to me and see what I will do with it.

Acknowledgments

F irst and foremost, I thank God for sparing my life and helping me every day. I am so grateful He gave me a story to tell and helped me write it every step of the way.

I turned this book over, in its infancy, to someone else to read and decide if there was life within these pages. I was like a mother hen guarding her young, but I soon found out this was Gods project. I was only the tool He was using to get it on the page.

This allowed me the grace I needed to receive criticism and suggestions that would only make it stronger and help it become what God had planned it to be.

He placed some amazing teachers, editors, advisors, mentors, and supporters in my life to help me from start to finish. But it was His Holy Spirit that illuminated my pen and saturated the pages with His divine guidance. I am humbled every day for that gift.

Special thanks to Angela Back, who inspired me to write again and supported me through the entire process.

To my sister, Donna, who has always been a teacher to me and, as a creative writer herself, was able to give me great tips and encouragement and was the first to read and help me with the first edits (an extra thank you to her and Maggie for suffering through those first readings).

To my brother J.D. (David), who has always encouraged and supported mehe is a great big brother who always protects his little sister. He also helped me create my A. Crow logo. He was the first to read the edited version and gave me the confidence to move forward.

To my friend MJ, who has been like a sister to me, a fellow writer who encouraged and inspired me with her positive attitude.

To Tim, a friend, caregiver, and great encouragement to me through the whole processthe king of puns who brought me a different perspective on life.

Gary Black is a great inspiration and always has great words of wisdom.

To Maggie Osbourne, who helped me through the healing process and helped me realize I am no longer a victim but a victor.

To Will Briggs, who helped me go deeper in the word, learn how to be still and to always look for truth, and learn discernment and humility. To Huddle and my Future Leaders group, for your passions, support, and prayers. I feel God has woven a golden thread through our lives to connect us, to learn from and help each other grow in the knowledge of Him.

To Eli Strait (210Leaders), for great conversations and insight on how to carry your faith into your work. To Caron Massey, 210Leaders mentor who brought prophetic wisdom and knowledge to encourage me when I needed it most.

To Southland Christian Church, for their discipleship, ministry, and heart for Christ and people. To life group, who supported me through my accident and beyondyou were always there to lend a hand or an ear, and I will always cherish our friendships. To Misti McMullen, who invited me to Southland, gave me a Jesus Calling, and stuck by me as a friend without question at one of the most difficult times in my life.

To my son Bradley, for putting up with my long hours of writing, for our many insightful conversations, and for going on this Christ-centered journey alongside me.

To my niece, Dana, for her support, encouragement, and grace.

There were so many people who crossed my path and made a significant difference in my life without even knowing it. God has a way of putting people right where they are needed at the right time. His perfect timing and plan become evident only in hindsight most of the time. That is where trust and faith come in. I had to learn how to stop trying to control my life and let God have the reins. I am so grateful for that.