Praise for Resilience
A must-read book for anyone diagnosed with cancer or living with someone diagnosed with cancer. This book captures the journey of how dealing with disease affects the psyche. Wener relates her quest to explore alternative ways of dealing with her illnesses, while continuing to use the benefits of traditional medicine. She tells her story with humility and transparency. Her story is a model of resilience, courage, and honesty.
Diane Guerrera, breast cancer survivor and founder of the CURE Foundation
Through this extraordinary window into her thoughts, her fears, her defeats, and her triumphs, we come to understand Susan Wener not simply as a case but as a whole person. As a physician, this book gives me the opportunity to think about how I can do more for my patients by being a better listener and by trying harder to understand them as individuals rather than cases. As someone responsible for the education of students and residents, Resilience has given me food for thought about how we can better prepare the next generation of physicians.
David Eidelman, MD, CM, Dean, Faculty of Medicine, McGill University
If the word resilience had a face, it would have to be Susan Weners. She is the proof that physical fragility, emotional distress, and fear can be overcome. Everyone, sick or healthy, will benefit from learning Susans lessons about life, humility, hope, perseverance, and love.
Lise Watier, founder, Lise Watier Cosmetics
At some point in our life, everyone will face challenges. The quality of our lives will depend on how well we cope during these difficult times. Susan shares her story and the way she and her family lived through this highly emotional and painful period. It is a remarkable story of Susans strength. Her love for her family, compassion for others in need, and wisdom continued to grow in spite of her pain. Rather than scars, Susan gained a radiant, beautiful spirit that nourishes all of us fortunate enough to spend time with her. I am grateful to Susan for the book she wrote and her spirit that gives me hope.
Rubin Becker MD, FRCPC
Insightful, moving, and easy-to-read, this story takes the reader through the challenges, the setbacks, the fears, and the different strategies to cope with cancer. It offers a message of hope, perseverance, and optimism.
Dr. Andre Lisbona, MD, FRCPC
As a general internist and palliative medicine specialist, I am very interested in doctor-patient communication. Resilience teaches us so much about how patients want to be communicated with and how important it is to listen to them. I hope that this book serves as a foundation for reflection and change for anyone journeying through a serious illness. If you encounter adversity, think back to the principles that Susan teaches us: believe in and love yourself, talk with and include your family in your decision-making process, keep a good team, and heal by helping others.
Gil Kimel, MD, MSc, FRCPC
To know Susan Wener is to get a glimpse of the inner peace that is the goal of every guru, priest, and New Age life coach. This story of the journey that got her where she is today is equal parts gripping, terrifying, and unbearably sad on the one hand and courageous, instructive, and inspiring on the other. No one would ever choose to follow in her footsteps, but her travelogue is a tool kit for building structures of hope, optimism, and triumph in the neighborhood of disease, suffering, and death.
Michael Walker, PhD
A must read for everyone. I loved the book and read it in two sittings with a box of Kleenex. Some of the tears were shed for her deep suffering but many were also shed in joy for her courage, strength, and triumphs!
Gordon Byrn, chairman, Carlyle Gordon Limited
Susan Weners poignant description of her battle with colon cancer provides insights into the challenges that face every patient dealing with a life-altering illness. The book also offers an excellent overview of how both traditional Western medicine and complementary/alternative medicine can be beneficial to whole person care. As a result of her many emotional and physical ups and downs, Susan has dedicated her professional career to understanding the importance of a healthy balance between body and mind.
Stephen H. Carson MD, pediatrician and pediatric pulmonologist
Title page
Dedication
To the doctors who literally saved my body
To my husband and daughters, who saved my soul
And to Resilience, without which I never
would have made it at all
Contents
Acknowledgments
First and foremost is my husband. He is my life partner and best friend. The strength and devotion he has shown me are beyond anything I might have imagined when I took my wedding vows over forty years ago. He took my hand and to this day has never let go. Please know, Jonathan, that you really are the wind beneath my wings.
My three beautiful daughters, Jacqueline, Kassy, and Ali, gave me the reason to keep on living. They were so young when I was first diagnosed with cancer. There was still so much to teach them, and I knew that I had to do whatever was necessary to give me more time to mentor them. They surprise me daily with their strength, vitality, and wisdom. They have become my biggest teachers.
I would like to thank my late father, Julius Hanek, whose unconditional love was a constant throughout my adult life. Although you are no longer here with me physically, Daddy, you are never far from my heart.
As for my mother, Miriam Hanek, your audacity and determination cannot be rivaled. The strength you exhibit in pushing forward and crushing any obstacle that may come your way is remarkable. You remind me daily to get my needs met.
I am truly blessed to have two sisters, one by birth and another by choice. To my sister, Linda Birks, I am so grateful to have learned so much from you. You love deeply and give your all to those lucky enough to know you. Diane Potter, you have been there for me when I needed you, whether at four in the morning or four in the afternoon. Thank you for allowing me to lean on you and for never making me feel as though I was a burden. I am honored to have you in my life.
To my brother, Stephen Hanek, know that what you have accomplished is proof that anything is possible!
To all of my extended family, thank you. You gave me the space I needed for my head and the food I needed for my heart.
Special thanks go to Elizabeth (Beth) Legaspi for your continuous love and devotion. No task has ever been too much for you. You have always treated me as though I was a sacred being, and you were always ready to cancel any personal plans should I have needed you. Beth, you are my family, and I love you!
I am one of those lucky people who have been blessed with amazing friends. All of you have supported me in so many ways, loving me when I needed it most and pushing me when I sometimes wanted it least. I am eternally grateful for your friendship. You have taught me that friendship is a gift and a blessing. Know that it is one I cherish deeply.
I would be remiss not to mention one friend in particular. Linda Carson has been by my side for more than fifty years. When we are together, I sometimes still feel as I did when we were little girls, giggling and sharing secrets. I trust you with my life. You love and protect me with the fierceness of a lioness. What a gift it has been to know that a simple phone call is all it takes to have you fly thousands of miles to be with me, just because. You are my heart, and I love you.