Sally Loughridge - Rad Art: A Journey Through Radiation Treatment

Published by the American Cancer Society

Health Promotions

250 Williams Street NW

Atlanta, Georgia 30303 USA

Copyright 2012 American Cancer Society

Original art and photography copyright 2012 Sally Loughridge

Book and jacket design by Jill Dible, Atlanta, GA

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Rad Art: A Journey Through Radiation Treatment represents the authors personal experience with breast cancer through her paintings and comments. This book is a supplemental resource for cancer patients and survivors and their families and friends. The content of this book is not official policy of the American Cancer Society and is not intended as medical advice to replace the expertise and judgment of a cancer care team.

Manufactured by Dickinson Press, Inc.

Manufactured in Grand Rapids, MI, in June 2012

Job # 4046300

Printed in the United States of America

5 4 3 2 1 12 13 14 15 16

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Loughridge, Sally Ives, 1945

Rad art : a journey through radiation treatment / written and illustrated by Sally Loughridge.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-60443-092-9 (hardback) -- ISBN 1-60443-092-3 (hardcover)

1. Loughridge, Sally Ives, 1945---Health. 2. Breast--Cancer--Patients--Rehabilitation. 3. Breast--Cancer--Patients--United States--Biography. 4. Breast--Cancer--Radiotherapy. 5. Art therapy. I. Title.

RC280.B8L59 2012

616.994490092--dc23

[B]

2012009643

AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY

Managing Director, Content: Chuck Westbrook

Director, Cancer Information: Terri Ades, DNP, FNP-BC, AOCN

Director, Book Publishing: Len Boswell

Managing Editor, Book Publishing: Rebecca Teaff, MA

Senior Editor, Book Publishing: Jill Russell

Book Publishing Coordinator: Vanika Jordan, MSPub

Editorial Assistant, Book Publishing: Amy Rovere

For more information about cancer, contact your American Cancer Society at 800-227-2345 or cancer.org.

Quantity discounts on bulk purchases of this book are available. For information, please contact the American Cancer Society, Health Promotions Publishing, 250 Williams Street NW, Atlanta, GA 30303-1002, or send an e-mail to .

To all those living with cancer,

and to the superb medical professionals who cared for me

To my husband, Stephen Busch,

and to my children, Elizabeth and Nathaniel,

for their loving support

by Eve Ensler

Cancer is so deep in the body.

Like oil in the earth. Like the unconscious

In the psyche. It is inside the inside of cells.

Sometimes scalpels can cut it. Sometimes

Radiation can zap it. Sometimes chemo can burn it.

Sometimes meditation can melt it and yoga can release it.

It lives where poems and paintings begin.

It lives so deep it writes its own story, draws its own horizons.

A fter my cancer operation, when I came home from the hospital where they removed many organs and rearranged others, I needed to paint. I had never painted before. I needed my friends and family to paint with me. When they came to my loft, I knew they were afraid and awkward. I would hand them a crayon or a paintbrush or pastel. I asked them to draw me a vision. Being asked to draw or paint, without fail, terrorized people more than my cancer. It made them regress, but then we could play and speak in another language. I put the many paintings on a shelf and gathered them as the months of chemo went on. There was so much color and energy in these paintings. They became flags of the country I was traveling toward.

These Rad Art paintings by Sally Loughridge are psychic inscriptions, colored illuminations that come straight from her body. They are healings. They are prayers. They are radiant offshoots. They are gorgeous. Her body is speaking, calling up her own survival, calling up the exquisite beauty that can only be burned out of suffering.

Eve Ensler is a Tony awardwinning playwright and activist. Her plays include The Good Body, O.P.C., Necessary Targets, and The Vagina Monologues, which has been published in 48 languages and performed in over 140 countries. She is the founder of V-Day, the global movement to end violence against women and girls, which has raised over 85 million dollars. Her new play Emotional Creature will premiere Off Broadway in 2012. She lives in Paris.

T he oil paintings in this book are a visual recording of my emotional journey during daily radiation treatments for breast cancer. Initially, I strongly resisted the option of radiation. I had already undergone surgery to remove the cancer, and it appeared to be successful. I was also afraid of the potentially harmful long-term side effects associated with radiation. However, the traits of my tumor and the recurrence statistics made radiation therapy a prudent choice.

During the time between my cancer diagnosis and the start of radiation, I experienced a rush of powerful emotions. I could not always name them, but I felt them intensely in my body. After my surgery and knowing radiation would soon begin, I decided I would create a small painting every day following my treatment. As an artist, I hoped I would find solace, distraction, and release through this process.

Each treatment day, I took a blank panel from my stack of thirty-three and made a quick five-by-seven-inch painting. By intention, none took longer than twenty minutes to complete, and none was composed ahead of time. The paintings themselves were not intended to be art per se; rather, the process of creating them was the critical element in my coping strategy. This ritual helped steady me and, at times, surprised me. I recognize now that the paintings are a reflection of my overall cancer experience. They are not just about the radiation.

When I began to show the sequence of paintings to friends, cancer survivors, and health care professionals, they strongly encouraged me to share my work with other cancer patients and their support networks. At first, I wondered whether others could relate to the emotional path I had traveled. I wasnt even certain I wanted to tell my story in a public way. But as a retired clinical psychologist, I knew that one persons openness can ease anothers pain and decrease isolation and fear. Among my close friends, the rich quilt of intimate conversation always brings relief, connection, and support. And so, I decided to share my experience.

Each persons cancer story is unique, yet common emotions weave throughout the community of those impacted by cancer. I offer these paintings in the hope that they may encourage self-expression and sharing in survivors as they heal and move forward in their lives.

I am deeply grateful to the medical professionals in Maine who diagnosed my cancer and treated and cared for me with such compassion, skill, and availability. They were patient with my questions, understanding of my fears, and respectful of my own way of getting through this unexpected journey.

I would particularly like to thank my breast surgeon, Melinda Molin, MD, for her expertise and understanding. I was well tended by her sensitive staff, including Elizabeth Huebener, RN, BSN, CDT, at Breast Care Specialists of Maine, a department of Mercy Hospital. During radiation therapy at the Coastal Cancer Treatment Center, which is a part of Maine Medical Center, my radiation oncologist, Celine Godin, MD, MPH, followed me with quiet wisdom, empathy, and humor. The team of radiation therapists offered a comforting mix of warmth and precision.