Advance Praise
Groundbreaking, fascinating, and sobering. Finallywe have an explanation. This seminal work of Dr. Valerie Rein is a must - read for every woman in the process of unlocking her own ultimate fulfillment and success.
Ali Brown, CEO, entrepreneur, mentor
The greatest barriers for women now and ahead are internal. Especially as the gender equality movement adds more responsibility to womens plateswe need a new movement that gives women the tools to manage and optimize their mental health so they can rise in leadership with greater ease and joy. Dr. Valerie has some of the most groundbreaking solutions I have seen. Whether youre in the corporate or entrepreneurial world, starting out or advanced in your career, this is a must - read for all women.
Claudia Chan, creator of S.H.E. Summit, author of This Is How We Rise leadership book, podcast, and course
Mind - blowing . I was immediately impacted by Dr. Valeries definition of trauma. I have it so great. I am blessed. I have a good family. Im lucky for a life of opportunity. These messages blind us to years of trauma that impact every single area of our lives. Not to mention the trauma we carry from our ancestors and the collective trauma of women today.
Through beautiful storytelling, facts and research, and heartfelt relation to what is really going on in our lives, Dr. Valerie creates a transformation. From that feeling of something not being quite right, to understanding, to actionable steps, and finally to power, Patriarchy Stress Disorder is required reading for women if we are to realize our power and impact our world. THANK YOU Dr. Valerie for the work you are doing for women and for our world!
Carrie Sechel, former Deloitte partner, business consultant, author, speaker
Dr. Valerie is the go - to expert on identifying and healing the complex effects of intergenerational, cultural, and personal traumas that all humans carry. These have a profound impact on how we show up in life and at work and how we work with each other. The fields of human resources and diversity, equity, and inclusion and anyone concerned with advancing equality and empowerment should be paying attention to Dr. Valeries work.
Jennifer Brown, founder, president, and CEO, Jennifer Brown Consulting (JBC), author of Inclusion and How to Be an Inclusive Leader
As a single mom I resonated with the constant guilt and fear of passing along my issues to my twin girls. After reading this amazing book, I now will focus on being unconditionally OK with myself and passing that on to my girls. Instead of the way I have been surviving my life, I want to thriveand now I have a way to do it!
This book is a masterpiece. Just like a really good movie, its message sticks: how good can it get? It inspired me to take a new direction with my team and we had a great meeting this morning. We agreed to work together to change from being reactive to proactive! Thank you Dr. Valerie for sharing the light with us!
Dr. Jill Wade, owner of Stonebriar Smile Design
We cant untie the knots we cannot see. In this brilliantly written and courageous book, Dr. Valerie Rein makes visible the web of knots that hold us back. Her writing captures your imagination and your heart and takes you for a ride through your own history of setbacks and self - limiting behaviors. Join the women Dr. Valerie has helped break through the chains of PSD by reading this amazing book. The stories, research, and practices in Patriarchy Stress Disorder will inspire you to live from your best self. I could not put this book down, and I learned something new about myself on every page. Thank you, Dr. Valerie!
Amy Weintraub, founder of LifeForce Yoga, author of Yoga for Depression and Yoga Skills for Therapists
Dr. Valerie helps us better understand the invisible programs encoded in our DNA that subconsciously affect us. Corporate executive women, especially in healthcare, are affected by cardiovascular disease, weight gain, eating disorders, addiction, depression, anxiety, issues with sleep, and ultimately burnout. Backed with eye - opening data, Patriarchy Stress Disorder uncovers the invisible root of the issues that plague powerful women and offers scientifically informed exercises that readers can begin putting into practice immediately. I would love to see PSD included in every psychology textbook.
Dr. Anne Arvizu, CEO, RxER Communications Corp.
Introduction
When we see the invisible, we can do the impossible.
Anonymous
I was on the phone with a client when I suddenly noticed I was only smiling with one half of my face.
The right side of my mouth lifted up, but the left side wasnt cooperating. By the time I got off the phone, my left arm wasnt working, either. It just hung there. I thought, thats funky. Whats going on? With my right thumb, I typed weakness on the left side of the body into my phone. I read the word stroke. I got in my car, and using my right arm, I drove myself to the emergency room.
Within minutes, I was hooked up to what felt like every beeping and monitoring device they could find. Thus began a multi - hour adventure to understand what was wrong with me. As I was examined and tested, I progressively felt better. I was being taken care of. The staff wheeled me around on a stretcher through the doors that opened automatically. They covered me with blankets before entering a cold room. They brought me water before I had to ask. They waited on me hand and foot and smiled reassuringly. I felt like I was at the Ritz - Carlton the only other place on Earth where Id ever experienced my needs reliably and consistently met and anticipated.
There were no calls to answer. No one to take care of. There were no demands on me. Except to lay there and breathe. I was guilt - free ; possibly for the first time as a mother, wife, and professional. A stroke scare quailed at me for a hall pass. Surrounded by the soft meditative beeping of the machines, I began to relax and enjoy my spa day in a hospital gown.
Thankfully, all the test results came back normal. It was just stress that had taken my left side temporarily offline. They let me check out to go home.
I looked at the clock and realized I could still make my evening client appointments. I changed into my civilian clothes, drove to my office, and held my evening sessions as though nothing had ever happened.
Such is the power of the status quo. If I wasnt dead, I was working.
Can you relate?
Countless high - achieving female clients over the years have shared with me about their burnout, their frustration, disillusionment, despair, rage, depression, adrenal fatigue, issues with weight, digestion, and sleep, panic, and anxiety.
I grapple with a constant feeling of overall exhaustion, because I feel like I always have to just keep dancing.
Im afraid of failure. I have to be the best at all times, and always be pleasant and leave everyone smiling.
I wake up anxious. My heart and my mind are racing at the thought of everything I need to do. I force myself to meditate, but it doesnt really work, and I feel like a failure.
I just want to wake up in the morning feeling happy.
It was easier to see in them what I was struggling to see in myself. We high - achieving women keep pushing until we break, until were stopped dead in our tracks by crises in our health, work, or relationships. Only when were up against a wall do we finally see the prison were in.
But what is this invisible inner prison? And what crimes got us there?
Redefining Trauma
Over the years of my work as a therapist and in social conversations, Ive been hearing women express the feeling of being stuck, imprisoned. Women talked about wanting moremore intimacy in their relationship, more impact of their work in the world, more fulfillment in life, feeling more comfortable in their skin, more peace and happiness. They expressed frustration, feeling like as they try to reach for this more , they are running into an invisible inner wall.