Shaunti Feldhahn - For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

Acknowledgments

This book required the help and input of hundreds of people, and although I cannot list them all here, they have my deepest thanks. A few, however, must be mentioned.

The first and second professional surveys that form the backbone of this book were guided and directed by Chuck Cowan of Analytic Focus (www.analyticfocus.com) and performed by Cindy Ford, Cari Peek, Kevin Sharp, and the rest of the team at Decision Analyst (www.decisionanalyst.com). My gratitude goes to them and to the team at Multnomah, especially Cathy Zerbe and Darrell Neet for the follow-up survey. (Thanks also to Reg Rhodes for his early help with the survey questions.)

I am so grateful for the honesty and vulnerability of the many men who were willing to be interviewed, and to protect their privacy I will not list them here. But I would like to thank Dr. Emerson Eggerichs of Love and Respect Ministries (www.loveandrespect.com), Daniel Weiss of Focus on the Family, Ken Ruettgers, and the other men listed by name in the book for their willingness to share their insight.

If this book is anointed by the Father in any way, it is because a dedicated team prayed for this book every day for nine months. I am so thankful for these faithful prayer warriors: Martha Abrams, Diana Baker, Scott and Tammy Beck, Allan Beeber, Elizabeth Beinhocker, Patti Benjamin, Steve Blum, Ann Browne, Brent and Polly Byrnes, Gerry Crete, Kimberly Crumm, Sean and Alison Darrell, Mike Deagle, Debbie DeGraff, Betty Dunkum, Calvin Edwards, Lynn Elam, MolliAnne Elliott, Jeff Feldhahn, Troy Ferrin, Nancy French, Natt Gantt, Katie Gates, Deb and Michael Goldstone, Corkie Haan, Martha (Carter) Herndon, Judy Hitson, John Holcomb, Anne Hotchkiss, Victor Jih, Jane Joiner, Susan Kess, Kristen Lambert, Mary Laudermilk, Roy Leffew, the late Kathryn Lindstrom, Jan Maclaury, Sandra Maclively, Dan Maljanian, Denice Moughamian, Mike Owen, Linda Preston, Dick and Judy Reidinger, Lisa and Eric Rice, Susan Rodenberg, Roger Scarlett, Jim and Chris Sharp, Wendy and Albert Shashoua, Kathy Smith, D. J. Snell, Lon and Katherine Waitman, and Jewels Warren. My deep thanks also goes to the many readers on my prayer team whom I do not know personally, but who have also been faithful in prayer (and special thanks to Rachel Duarte for conducting a test poll).

Most important, God used a small team of peoplemostly mento actively shape this book. My eternal gratitude goes to these core advisers: my husband, Jeff (Ill get back to him in a minute), my book agent, Calvin Edwards, and the Multnomah team, including my editors, Dave and Heather Kopp, Bill Jensen, Don Jacobson, and Jennifer Gott. Also important were my parents, Dick and Judy Reidinger, my brother Rick, and my team of male and female readers, including Lisa and Eric Rice, D. J. Snell, Nancy French, Dan Maljanian, Jim Sharp, Roger Scarlett, Ann Browne, Katie Gates, Sean and Alison Darrell, Julie Anne Fidler, Bruce and Sue Osterink, and others.

Finally, there is no way to adequately express my love and respect to my husband, Jeff. Dear one, your insight, prayer, encouragement, and steadfast support have shaped each and every book and article Ive written, but no work bears your stamp as much as this one. You are an example of what a husband should be, which is why my greatest gratitude goes to the Author of Love, who gave us to each other.

A Note to the Reader

If what you have read has been helpful, I hope you are eager to learn more. I usually have an extensive resource section, but because of space constraints Im listing those resources at www.4-womenonly.com instead. The entire survey is also published at that site, as well as many other elements that were not included in this book (such as the follow-up survey and the hundreds of written responses to the survey question What is the one most important thing you wish your wife knew?).

That said, I must list one starting point here: The newcomers section of Dr. Emerson Eggerichs website, loveandrespect.com, will walk you further down the important path of respecting your husband in the way he needs and will help your husband understand how to love you in the way you need.

Citations

Frank Maguires story in chapter 4 taken from Francis Maguire, Youre The Greatest! How Validated Employees Can Impact Your Bottom Line (Germantown, TN: Saltillo Press, 2001), 21011.

Jack Welch quote in chapter 4 excerpted from Jack Welch and John A. Byrne, Jack: Straight from the Gut (New York: Warner Books, 2001).

Not Tonight, Dear article in chapter 5 from Jill Eggleton Brett, Not Tonight, Dear Todays Christian Woman 24, no. 2 (March/April 2002): 68.

Movie, television, and music references:

Chapter 2: The Natural, 1984, Columbia/Tristar Studios, directed by Barry Levinson; cast, Robert Redford, Glenn Close.

Chapter 3: Star Trek reference from Star Trek: The Next Generation by Gene Roddenberry, episode #260, Attached. The exact quotes were tracked down by Steve Krutzler, editor, www.TrekWeb.com.

Chapter 4: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, 2003, New Line Studios, directed by Peter Jackson; cast, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin; based on the novel by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Chapter 7: When Harry Met Sally, 1989, MGM Studios, directed by Rob Reiner; cast, Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan.

The song one of my interviewees referenced in chapter 5 is Behind Closed Doors 1973 by Charlie Rich, Sony Music.

For Men Only

by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Youve been amazed by the eye-popping revelations found in For Women Only. Bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn now dives into the inner lives of women. For Men Only offers men a simple guide to understanding the inner lives of women and will help him love you the way you have always wanted.

In stores May 2006!

Download an exclusive excerpt today at www.formenonlybook.com

FOR WOMEN ONLY DISCUSSION GUIDE

a companion to the bestseller about the inner lives of men

This all-new discussion guide will help you explore the complex terrain beneath a mans confident exterior. Personal stories, fascinating case studies, and pointed questions will launch the conversations you need to open your eyes to what the man in your lifea boyfriend, brother, husband, or sonis really thinking and feeling. For women who really do want to understand, this group or one-on-one discussion guide is a must for applying all those ah ha revelations to your relationships with the men in your life.

www.4-womenonly.com

www.4-womenonly.com

If you want even more information about the inner lives of men, be sure to visit our website!

4-womenonly.com contains exclusive information not found anywhere else, including fascinating stuff we couldnt fit in the book. For example, youll find: