Shaunti Feldhahn - For Women Only, For Men Only, and For Couples Only Participants Guide: Three-in-One Relationship Study Resource

F OR W OMEN O NLY , F OR M EN O NLY, AND F OR C OUPLES O NLY P ARTICIPANT S G UIDE
P UBLISHED BY M ULTNOMAH B OOKS
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All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

Portions of Guide 1 and Guide 2 in this book appeared in different versions in the standalone books For Women Only Discussion Guide by Shaunti Feldhahn with Lisa A. Rice, copyright 2006 by Veritas Enterprises Inc., and For Men Only Discussion Guide by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn with Brian Smith, copyright 2007 by Veritas Enterprises Inc., both published by Multnomah Books.

Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-60142-474-7
eBook ISBN: 978-1-60142-480-8

Copyright 2013 by Veritas Enterprises Inc.

Cover design by Mark D. Ford

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v3.1

H ave you ever looked at the person you know and love best in the world, heard something shocking about how that person thinks, and wondered, Waithow have I not heard this before?

A decade ago, we stumbled upon some key things that we didnt know about each other. After investigating them, publishing them in our books For Women Only and For Men Only, and seeing how life changing they are, we think it is important for everyone else to know them too. As men and women, we each have certain specific things that we need and a few hidden things that hurt us. But because men and women are wired so differently, we often have no idea what those things are for the person we love. Because the other person is just different, we are often trying hard in the wrong areas. So the other person may not feel cared for the way we expector, worse, we can sometimes hurt the other person without ever meaning to.

But once our eyes are opened to what matters to the opposite sex, we can try hard in the right areas. We can show we care, we can avoid these unrecognized hurts, and suddenly we may see the other person feeling very cared for in the way we wanted all along.

This book contains three different guides packaged together.

Guide 1: The For Women Only Discussion Guide is designed to be used by women who are using the For Women Only book, the video study, or both the book and the video. Womens groups, Bible studies, and book clubsany just-us-girls environmentwill learn to understand menhusbands, boyfriends, coworkers, sons, or any other men in their lives.

Guide 2: The For Men Only Discussion Guide is designed to be used by men who are using the For Men Only book, the video study, or both. Similarly, men will find this guide helpful regardless of whether they are married, dating, or just wanting to understand the alien gender.

Guide 3: The For Couples Only Discussion Guide is a little different. Unlike the other two studies, this one is designed to be done by married, engaged, or dating couples. The key is that in this study men and women will be together the whole time. This study brings together much of the content from the other two studiesnot only to unveil what you need to know about your other half, but to help him or her realize what you dont already know (which can be just as important). And it is designed to give the two of you a common language to talk about some key things going forward. Like the others, this particular guide can be used with the books (both For Women Only and For Men Only), the For Couples Only video study, or both.

Whichever study (or studies) you choose to complete, we hope you will have many Aha! moments along the waysimple surprises that have big impactstogether with more delight in your relationship and (if you are married) more harmony in your home.

Enjoy the journey!

Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn

P.S. Please note that these guides are designed to accompany the revised and updated (2013) book versions of For Men Only and For Women Only. (If you have the older versions of the books, be aware that the page numbers will be different and they each have one less chapter.)

Guide 1 Contents

One

S ince the original version of For Women Only came out nearly a decade ago, I have been so grateful to hear from women all over the country who tell me, My eyes have been openedand I cant believe I didnt know some of these things before! That excitement is inevitably followed by, So, um, how do I apply this to my life? This discussion guide will help you do just that; it has been revised and updated to match the 2013 updated edition of For Women Only. (Note: Throughout this guide I often use the abbreviation FWO for For Women Only.)

This guide is designed to be flexible so it can be used in a womens discussion group or as a helpful road map for a good one-on-one dialogue with the man in your life. It can be used with either the For Women Only video study, the FWO book alone, or both together. The discussion elements (questions, Life Story case studies, and so on) are designed to be mixed and matched; pick and choose what works best for your group and your time frame. You can find some helpful suggestions from two different types of groups on the Studies portion of our website, www.shaunti.com.

We have found that female audiences, whether married, dating, or single, often experience invaluable Aha! moments as they go through this study. Im primarily focusing on helping apply these truths to romantic relationships, but many of these Aha! moments can be useful in other relationships, such as with a son or a male colleague. Youll find that I use the words