Dr. David E. Clarke - Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars: The Dos and Donts of Getting Your Man to Open Up

This is not just another book on male and female differences. Yes, its practical, humorous, and a fun read. Youll see yourself and others through new eyes. Youll learn some new ways to give and receive love. But the most valuable feature is the section on spiritual intimacy. It alone is worth the price of the book. Really! This is a book youll give to friends and want to read more than once.

GARY J. OLIVER, TH.M., PH.D.

Executive director of The Center for Healthy Relationships, professor of psychology and practical theology at John Brown University, and author of more than twenty books, including Mad about Us and Its Okay to Be Angry

In Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars, Dr. David Clarkes fresh, relevant, and humorous approach to gender differences will hit you right where you are in your own marriage. This book is sure to open the door to deeper understanding and better communication. A must read!

DAVID AND CLAUDIA ARP

Cofounders of Marriage Alive and authors of 10 Great Dates

Refreshing, delightful, funny, practicaland life-changing! Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars is a must read. Regardless of how long a couple has been married, there is one thing this book can do for their marriageimprove it! A lot of books describe how to improve your marriage, but few really show you how to apply those principles practically and biblically. Clarkes book does so masterfully. Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars is a winner.

DR. RODNEY COOPER

Kenneth and Jean Hansen Professor of Discipleship and Leadership Development at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, former national director of Promise Keepers, and nationally known speaker and author

Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars: The Dos and Donts of Getting Your Man to Open Up

2019 by David E. Clarke, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188

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Editors: Larry Weeden and Kathy Davis

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ISBN 978-1-58997-975-8

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To Sandy, the most wonderful person in the world

Opposites Attract... and Drive You Nutty!

I F YOU COME TO A D R. D AVID C LARKE, Men Are Clams, Women Are Crowbars Seminar, you will hear me start by saying:

Women. Will men ever really understand women? The answer, of course, is no. I mean, who are we kidding? This concludes my seminar. Thank you for coming.

As I begin to walk off the stage, there is nervous laughter in the audience. The couples are thinking, Is he serious? Is the seminar over?

Then I return to center stage and launch into my explanation of how difficult it is for a man to understand a woman. Heres how it goes.

Women. Will men ever really understand women? Did you ever notice that most women have a lot of clothes? Dresses, skirts, pants, blouses. And dont forget the accessories: shoes, belts, scarves, things for their hair. The list is endless! Most women have more clothes right now than they could ever possibly wear in one lifetime. But they keep buying more! Why? We dont know.

Take a look at the closet shared by the average couple. Three-quarters of that baby is jammed full of the womans clothes. If the light is just right, and you look really close, you can just barely make out the tiny, cramped section the man is forced to use.

Its not fair! Its not right! And it needs to stop. Ladies, weve had enough. The partys over. Im starting a new national organization for men. I call it Take Back the Closet.

Speaking of clothes, there is a situation that has puzzled men for centuries. Here is a woman who owns enough clothes and accessories to outfit a small European country. She stands in front of her closetand I mean her closetand in all sincerity, says these classic words, I just dont have a thing to wear. What? Youve got to be kidding! The correct statement, my dear, is, Out of the thousands of choices I have, I cant decide what to wear.

Another quality about women that men dont understand is the way they talk. Women love details, and they can remember with astonishing clarity every event of their dayin fact, every event of the past twenty-five years.

This is fine in and of itself. The problem is that a woman wants to share all the details with her man. The man wants the big picture, the overall sketch. He gets drowned in too many details while the woman spends twenty minutes describing what happened, how she feels about it, and how it affected her life. And thats just to cover the time from her car door to the mall entrance. Shes just getting started!

For me, as a man, listening to this kind of story is like ordering a pepperoni pizza and having it delivered one pepperoni at a time. Please give me the whole pizzagive it to me now! Get to the point before I die of old age.

We men have also never really understood why women cry and cry so much. Women cry when theyre happy. They cry when theyre sad. They cry when theyre angry. They cry when theyre tired. Sometimes they cry and dont even know why. Now, thats spooky.

There is no more pitiful sight in the world than a man whose woman is crying. He doesnt know what to do. Everything he tries seems to backfire and lead to more crying, which is the last thing he wants. If he moves in close and tries to comfort her, she says, Back off, bud. How dare you touch me! You caused this problem. If he backs off and gives some space to the woman he loves, she says, Thats right, ignore me. You never cared.