Praise for
The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages
I am thrilled with the findings, clear reporting, and explanations. Shaunti is tireless at tracking down the truths that matter to relationshipsand countless men and women have benefitted as a result. I have already started using some of this new data at my conferences!
E MERSON E GGERICHS , best-selling author of Love and Respect
What an important relationship book for such a time as this! A must for every couple.
D R . T IM C LINTON , president of the American Association of Christian Counselors
In just the first few chapters of this amazing resource, I found Shauntis research and insights incredibly helpful. This is a book Ill be using personally and recommending to many friends.
L YSA T ERKEURST , New York Times best-selling author and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries
One of my favorite things about this book is how practical these secrets are. These are things anybody can do to make their marriage even more satisfying!
H OLLY F URTICK
Regardless of the state of your marriage, Shaunti reveals how small changes in awareness and actions can truly change everything. She offers transferable actions that any couple can replicate to experience marital fulfillment.
K ERRY S HOOK , founding pastor of Woodlands Church, Houston, Texas, and co-author of the bestseller One Month to Live
Shaunti is one of those rare communicators who really gets marriage and all the give-and-take thats required. Youre holding months worth of marital counseling in your hands!
S HANNON E THRIDGE , best-selling author of the Every Womans Battle series
The entire time I was reading this book I kept stopping and saying to my wife, Oh, wow! Listen to this! The great truth within these pages is that little things do indeed mean a lot.
J EFF AND G REGG F OXWORTHY
Shaunti is one of the best researchers in the field today, and Im always encouraged and surprised by her findings and how practical they are. I will be recommending this book to the women I minister to.
J ENNIFER R OTHSCHILD , author of Lessons I Learned in the Dark
What an important and desperately needed book! Shaunti debunks so many of the marriage myths that we have taken as gospel and shares the real secrets to happily ever after.
K ATHI L IPP , author of The Husband Project and Praying Gods Word for Your Husband
Shaunti has done the research, dissected the results, and delivered to us the proven recipes for success. Even after thirty years of marriage, I learned so much! This is a book every married person should read!
J ILL S AVAGE , CEO of Hearts at Home and author of No More Perfect Moms
Every married person and every person who wants to be married needs to read this book. Its a fun and surprising journey that can totally transform your marriageI promise.
V ALORIE B URTON , author of Happy Women Live Better
This book takes the mystery out of happy marriages by boiling it down to some key attitudes and actions that can make all the difference between a mediocre marriage and a magnificent one.
L ESLIE V ERNICK , licensed counselor, relationship coach, speaker, and best-selling author of The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
The message is timely, the research is fascinating, and the takeaways are life-impacting. Do your marriage a favor and read this book!
C RYSTAL P AINE , founder of MoneySavingMom.com and author of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode
This is one of the most encouraging and motivating marriage books I have ever read.
J IM B URNS , president of HomeWord and author of Creating an Intimate Marriage and Closer
After working my way through these pages and pondering these gems of wisdom, I couldnt help but wonder how many marriages might have been saved had they understood these simple, attainable truths.
S USIE L ARSON , national radio host, speaker, and author of Your Beautiful Purpose
When you take the time to tune into the little things in each other, then together youll succeed at a great marriage!
D R . G ARY AND B ARBARA R OSBERG , Americas Family Coaches and authors of 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love
Shaunti wields the researchers clipboard, the analysts data, and the counselors insight to bring the excellent newsflash that great marriages are the culmination of definable, repetitive micro-movements that add up to deep relationship satisfaction.
A NITA R ENFROE , comedian and author
Shaunti knows how to mine scientific research and data for the relationship gold that can change marriages and change lives.
S USAN M ERRILL , author of The Passionate Mom , blogger, and director of iMOM.com
M ARK M ERRILL , author of All Pro Dad, blogger, and president of Family First
T HE S URPRISING S ECRETS OF H IGHLY H APPY M ARRIAGES
P UBLISHED BY M ULTNOMAH B OOKS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
Scripture quotations are taken from the following versions: The New American Standard Bible. Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996 and 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.
Hardcover ISBN 978-1-60142-121-0
eBook ISBN 978-1-60142-360-3
Copyright 2013 by Veritas Enterprises Inc.
Cover design by Lucy Iloenyosi
Published in association with the literary agency of Calvin Edwards, 1220 Austin Glen Drive, Atlanta, Georgia 30338.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, New York, a Penguin Random House Company.
M ULTNOMAH and its mountain colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Feldhahn, Shaunti Christine.
The surprising secrets of highly happy marriages : the little things that make a big difference / Shaunti Feldhahn. First Edition.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-60142-121-0 ISBN 978-1-60142-360-3 (electronic) 1. Marriage. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Happiness. I. Title.
2013037194
S PECIAL S ALES
Most WaterBrook Multnomah books are available at special quantity discounts when purchased in bulk by corporations, organizations, and special-interest groups. Custom imprinting or excerpting can also be done to fit special needs. For information, please e-mail or call 1-800-603-7051.
v3.1
For Jeff :
My beloved, my friendand my secret
weapon in every research project.
This book is as much yours as it is mine.
And for our children :
May you know the joy of a Yes! marriage in