Harrison - 101 secrets to a happy marriage: real couples share the keys to their success

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101 Secrets to a Happy Marriage

2014 by Thomas Nelson

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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation.. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reverved. Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible, Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible, Holman CSB, and HCSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Secret #49 was reprinted by permission. Building Family Ties with Faith, Love & Laughter by Dave Stone, copyright 2012 by Thomas Nelson, Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Secret #51 was reprinted by permission. Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, copyright 2003 by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Secret #64 was reprinted by permission. From My Heart to Yours by Robin McGraw, copyright 2009 by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Secret #72 was taken from Joy of a Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. Copyright 2007. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

Secret #75 was reprinted by permission. No Greater Love by Russ Rice, Brad Silverman, and Lisa Guest, copyright 2010 by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Secret #88 was reprinted by permission. Max on Life by Max Lucado, copyright 2010 by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Secret #84 was reprinted by permission. Man Stuff by Josh Turner, copyright 2013 by Thomas Nelson, Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

Secret #89 was reprinted by permission. Building Family Ties with Faith, Love & Laughter by Dave Stone, copyright 2012 by Thomas Nelson, Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved.

ISBN-13: 978-0-7180-3048-3

ISBN-13: 978-0-7180-3876-2 (eBook)

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Contents

Every action and reaction we share as husband and wife, every moment we experience in marriage, is a brushstroke of colorful paint smeared across the canvas of life.

Jennifer Smith

The idea is to marry your best friend.

treat your partner with the utmost respect and love, the exact same way you would want to be treated by him or her.

Charla & David Bennett, married 21 years

. Before we were even married, we had discussed expectations, roles, convictions, money-handling principles, and child rearing. The communication that initiated our relationship has marked our entire marriage. We continue to make time to have heart-to-heart talks and pray together.

Paul & Holly Brown, married 5 years

Dont be surprised if after a few years of wonderful, quiet nights there is suddenly snoring in your bed. It may not be him.

. Dr. Leslie Parrott says that until we are willing to do the hard work of becoming whole on our own, all our relationships will fall disappointingly flat. By allowing Christ to meet my emotional and spiritual needs, I have found inner peace and lasting joy that spills over into my marriage. Before I learned this nugget of wisdom, I wasted much energy on trying to get my husband to meet those needs, and you know what? It didnt work! I have learned to be intentional about the care of my body, mind, and spirit and have found that when I am whole, then my marriage is a blessing and a witness to those who are able to see what God can do in a marriage.

Kolinda & Thomas Duer, married 27 years

. The most important lessons I have learned are choosing to constantly forgive and accepting my husband for who he is. Let go of all expectations and idealism and create together what only the two of you cana wonderful life story that no one can re-create. Pray for each other and appreciate your differences. Have plenty of adventurous morning, afternoon, or evening dates. Keep sexual intimacy interesting and spontaneous.

Bergeman & Guirlene Jean, married 7 years

. Four important words: You may be right...

Beth & Kirk Pulley, married 5 years

. Kiss each other. Pick your battles. Remain committed. Cherish each day God gives you. Dance with happy feet. Encourage each other. Lavish each other with goodness. Honor each other. Remind your spouse how important he or she is to you. Journey through your married life as players on the same team. Never use the D word! Pursue each other passionately. Be self-sacrificing. Tell the truth always! Be understanding. Keep your marriage vows. Watch your words. Examine your motives when placing expectations on the other.

Krystal & Bob Marusin, married 22 years

Your husband will not let go of the remote control for one reason: he doesnt trust you with it. As long as hes holding it, theres little chance of House Hunters or Desperate Housewives suddenly popping up on the screen.

A husband can look at a bedroom and think its perfectly fine. A wife will look at it and think the sheets need changing, clothes need to be hung up, the carpet needs vacuuming, the windows need cleaning, and something needs to be done with his shoes.

. Prayer is the best way we have found to soften our hearts toward each other and to remain a unified team. We have set aside time once a week to get up early and pray. Often, when we begin, my heart is a bit hardened toward something or toward my husband. But by the end of prayer time, the Holy Spirit has entered and transformed that space. Not only does He take that hardness away, He draws us closer to each other. I am still surprised by it, though it happens without fail.

Krista & Erik Gilbert, married 19 years

. Decide early on that it is okay to disagree. When you discuss things, you will disagree, and thats okay. Whats most important is that you remember how much you love each other, regardless of what youre discussing or disagreeing about.

Richard & Stela Heuschkel, married 18 years

Thanks to the DVR, a man doesnt have to miss a moment of great TV just because she wants to talk. And then talk some more. And then talk some more.

. I think its vital to choose the most important qualities (kindness, humor, a love of art/music) and then focus on those qualities when the other person seems like an alien creature (my unwillingness to drive freeways in the rain, his reluctance to throw away that unusable sliver of soap). Marriage is not about weird habits, food, sex, money, or which side we take regarding the death penalty. My husband is my biggest fan, and Im his. We show true interest in each others lives. He is the person Im most loyal to, and the person I want to see first thing in the morning and last thing at night. His hand is the warmest and safest, and the only one I want to hold.