James Fell - Number 2: On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down, #2

Fuck endorsements. Heres some hate mail.

Youre a pandering far left radical democrat activist POS!! Educate yourself you dumb fuck. This is maga country.

Steven

Such language! You dont sound all that intelligent. Emotionally compromised at its best!

Carleen

I will never purchase anything from you, you monumental jackass. Take your Trump hate and shove it, you dishonest piece of trash.

Dennis, on a post about why Nazis are bad

Buy your book? You openly demonstrate your ignorance of capitalism, Nazism, Germany, Trump, Trump supporters, and Marxism. And your inability to put together a coherent sentence without resorting to the crutch of using tedious and intellectually lazy profanity. Maybe your false and crude narrative will sell books - most likely to the gullible and brain-washed who will probably never get around to reading it.

Richard

Your book sucks and your history is fake.

Christopher

James, you seem to be the least intelligent leftie on the internet. My condolences about the massive brain damage.

Dave

I think you need to do some more research and learn to be a better communicator - your writing is garbage.

Roland

Im not vaccinated idiot. Stop pushing your politics over real science.

Mark

Why you gotta be so mean?

Millie

Who the hell are you? Freaking jumped up nobody.

Joe

What does James Fell even do why does he have such a following?

Nate

Your a piece of shit.

Martin

You made some good points. Too bad your prose is awful.

Barry

Did you get what you wanted with that post about Mother Teresa? going to sell more books? I question your motives well actually I dont you know exactly what the fuck youre doing. If it means that much to you spell book thats fine with got me, but I just came off your buyers list. best of luck have a nice fucking sleep.

Michelle

Oh how I hope to run into James Fell one day... Im going to punch a hole in his ugly fucking face.

Paul

Your rhetoric is incredibly homosexual. The question is, are you ready to die? Meet your maker?

Arthur

Ha listen up you fucking cowardly twerp, you bring your queer f*ggot ass down her to the land of the free because of the brave and you talk your shit you Commie.

Richard

You win the prize as a poor excuse for a human being. Maybe you do it on purpose for attention...who knows...but the next time I see your name, Ill be sure to block forever. Im sure youre laughing now,,thats what sicko mental patients. do.

Carol

Found another commie! What a failure of a man you are.

Frank

Dedication

For the fine folks who created the Covid vaccines, and everyone who did the right thing and got the shots.

Unless you voted for Trump,

in which case fuck you.

Authors Note

F uck Nazis.

And by that, I mean no one should ever fuck Nazis.

Volume I of On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down was 158,000 wordstwice the length of the average non-fiction bookand 1,011 of those words contained fuck in some fashion: fuckwipe motherfucker fuckpuddle dumbfuck fucktacular fucknuckle etc. Because I cant imagine a better way to describe fucking Nazis.

But some people didnt like that. They didnt appreciate that the Sweary Historian, who wrote a book with a swear word in the title, used profanity. And they informed me of their displeasure via social media comments, emails, and Amazon reviews. And then I screen-capped their tirades and used them as advertisements to sell more books, because fuck em.

Speaking of book sales, holy fucking shit.

Volume I has sold like a mother of fuckers, and I have similar hopes for Volume II. Oh, wait. Its Number 2, because poop joke. Anyway, this one is even longer and more fucky, coming in at 180,000 words and more than 1,300 usages of fuck.

Thats a lot of fuck.

Thank you everyone for making these books such a success. Its time to expand my history-writing horizons, so Im afraid there wont be a third volume, but theres still plenty more sweary history to come: Subscribe for free (or paidpaid is good) at JamesFell.Substack.com and find my social media links at JamesFell.com.

Oh shit I almost forgot: Fuck that semi-ambulatory dayglo taint stain apricot antichrist of a former president. How is he not in prison?

January

January 1, 404

I t seems everyone, including me and my wife, binged the shit out of Squid Game , making it the most popular show in Netflix history. Until Bridgerton pretended slavery wasnt a thing, that is. We like to watch competitions where the loser dies. Roman gladiatorial combat began three centuries before Christ, and it was a Christian monk who helped bring the practice to an end.

Squid Game wasnt an anomaly. The Hunger Games trilogy sold over 65 million copies in the U.S. alone. That may be fiction, but during the rise and fall of the Roman Empire much entertainment was found in a live show of real death. Most people thought it was awesome. Few said ah shit this is sick watching people murder each other. Thats why when some foreign monk walked into the Colosseum and got between two combatants and said hey stop this shit, the crowd stoned him to death.

The first gladiators were enslaved, although it gained such popularity that later many volunteered. It wasnt always lethal, as training and feeding them was expensive. There were even female gladiators. Although there was the occasional dissenting voice, gladiatorial combat was a binding social and economic force that crossed class lines in Roman society. People fucking loved it.

But then some time around 391 a monk named Telemachus, who was probably from what is now Turkey and is not to be confused with the Telemachus who was the son of Odysseus, said enough of this shit. Christianity had become the official religion of the Roman Empire only 11 years previous, but like the modern American evangelical, many of its followers werent very Christ-like. During the games Telemachus entered the arena and attempted to stop two gladiators from fighting. Allegedly, he said, In the name of Christ, forbear! Contemporary historian Theodoret wrote of the incident that the spectators were irritated at the interruption of their cruel sports, and stoned him who had occasioned the cessation.

Emperor Honorius, however, was moved by the martyrdom, although it took him a while to do anything about it. Honorius was only seven years old at the time, and not yet emperor. Perhaps he had only heard the story, or perhaps he was in attendance, because children were allowed to watch the games. Shit, sometimes children were allowed to fight . Thats fucked up, watching children fight to the death. *cough* Hunger Games *cough*

Anyway, many previous emperors had tried to stop the games, but they always seemed to worm their way back into being. I mean, the empire had gone to all this trouble to build these expensive amphitheaters, and there was money to be made. And yet, Honorius was determined. He assumed the throne at the age of nine in 393, and in 399 he made an edict that said no more gladiators. But there were more gladiators, so he said I said no more fucking gladiators! The last recorded gladiatorial fight in Rome took place on January 1, 404.