George Washington - George Washingtons Expense Account

OTHER BOOKS BY GEORGE WASHINGTON

George Washingtons Rules of Civility and
Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation

Journal of My Journey over the Mountains
While Surveying for Lord Thomas Fairfax

Daily Journal of Major George Washington in 17511752,
Kept While on a Tour from Virginia
to the Island of Barbadoes, with his Invalid Brother,
Maj. Lawrence Washington

Journal of Colonel George Washington, Commanding
a Detachment of Virginia Troops, Sent by Robert Dinwiddie,
Lieutenant-Governor of Virginia, across the Alleghany Mountains,
in 1754, to Build Forts at the Head of the Ohio

The Diaries of George Washington, 4 volumes

The Writings of George Washington, 39 volumes

_______________

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The Number One Best Seller

The RCAF (Red Chinese Air Force) Diet, Exercise and Sex Manual
(under the pseudonym William Randolph Hearst, with Richard
Lingeman and Victor Navasky)

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The Marvin Kitman Show: Encyclopedia Televisiana

The Cowards Almanac

I Am a VCR

The Making of the Prefident 1789

BY

General George Washington

&

Marvin Kitman, Pfc. (Ret.)

Copyright 1970 by Marvin Kitman

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Any members of educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use, or publishers who would like to obtain permission to include the work in an anthology, should send their inquiries to Grove/Atlantic, Inc., 841 Broadway, New York, NY 10003.

Originally published in 1970 by Simon and Schuster, New York, New York

Published simultaneously in Canada
Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kitman, Marvin, 1929

George Washingtons expense account / by George Washington &
Marvin Kitman.

p. cm.

Originally published: New York : Simon and Schuster, [1970].

eBook ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-9661-3

1. Washington, George, 17321799Finance, Personal. 2. Washington,
George, 1732-1799Humor. I. Washington, George, 17321799. II.
Title.

E312.81 2001
973.41092dc21 00-046219

Designed by Irving Perkins

Grove Press
841 Broadway
New York, NY 10003

I would like to acknowledge briefly the people and institutions who helped me with this work.

First, I am in debt to my editor, Richard Kluger. Without his expense account, which provided nourishment and warmth at Fraunces Tavern during long years of struggle as a starving writer, the book never would have been possible.

My wife, Carol, did not type the manuscript. She gave up a promising career as a teacher to serve as an unpaid consultant and editor.

Of the Washington scholars, I would especially like to single out for honorable mention James Flexner. He was a constant source of encouragement and solicitude as we worked side by side on Washington books in the right wing of the Frederick Lewis Allen Room of the New York Public Library. The Fred Allen Room was my home away from home, and I am grateful to the library staff for the free office space in the high rent location of Fifth Avenue and 42nd Street.

Professor Richard Morris of the Columbia University department of history was helpful in allowing me to audit his course, G6662y (The Era of the American Revolution, 17541789). He promised to completely ignore me, and more than fulfilled that promise during the term. Like most newcomers to the world of scholarship, I have tried to make up for any inherent shortcomings by the competence of my research; I have stolen many of the controversial ideas in this book directly from Professor Morriss lectures, which in turn were taken from his last book.

Professor James Shenton of Columbia University, Professor B. C. Jones of the University of Florida and Professor Eric C. Goldman of Princeton were supposed to read the manuscript. Their comments would have been typical of the nit-picking and back-biting so commonplace amongst true scholars.

A number of historians, professional and amateur, gave of their time at cocktail parties where I frequently managed to have George Washington talked about between 1966 and 1969. I wont bother again Professor Carl Resek of Sarah Lawrence College, Victor Navasky, Roger Jellinek, Dr. Ann Lane of Douglass College, Richard Lingeman, Arthur Kretchmer, Sam Vaughan of Tenafly, Murray Fisher, Dennis Ainsworth of Mississippi State, Donald Sterling, Martin Solow, Peter Nord, Calvin Trillin, Peter Edmiston, Alan Levin, Richard Beebe, Robert Fresco, Timothy Adams, and Howard Hirschhorn, my accountant.

My research assistant, Bonnie Lynn Perloff, did superior work at the Library of Congress in Washington. The highest recommendation I can give is her phone number: 2023384016.

The family of George Washington wasnt very helpful. I tried to get them to enjoin publication of this book before, rather than after, it was written. It worried me that I might accidentally damage the familys reputation, something no writer has the right to do unless hes making a fortune out of it. Actually his descendants were hard to find. There were a few Daughters of the American Revolution with vague claims to the Washington line, but nobody worth speaking to. The only people who seem to have anything at stake in protecting the Washington name today seem to be the Port Authority people in New York. If George Washington fell from favor, theyd have to rename their bridge after some other patriotic businessman, say, Alexander Hamilton.

I have been unkind to the marksman Aaron Burr in this book. To his descendants I would like to say that I really believe he did not kill Alexander Hamilton. The former Secretary of the Treasury died from poor medical attention.

Finally, I would like to acknowledge my gratitude to the Guggenheim Foundation, the Fund for the Republic, the Ford Foundation, the Rockefeller Brothers Fund, the Mellon Foundation, the National Institute of Health, and the other foundations and organizations which did not give me a grant to write this book. It was truly a labor of love.

M. K.

This book is for Private Haines of the First New Hampshire Regiment.

At the Battle of Bemis Heights (also known as the Battle of Stillwater and the Battle of Freemans Farm), north of Albany, on September 19, 1777, Private Haines distinguished himself by climbing astride the muzzle of a British brass 12-pounder. As it has been said, he rammed his bayonet into the thigh of a savage foe, recovering to parry the thrust of a second, and, quick as a tiger, dashed the same bloody bayonet through the redcoats head; recovered again, only to fall from the cannon, shot through the mouth and tongue, lying two nights on the battlefield until thirst, hunger, and loss of blood finally overcame him; landed in the ranks of the dead being made ready for burial; and from all this recovered for three years more service, and a green old age.

Just think what he could have done with an expense account.