Brianna DuMont - Famous Phonies: Legends, Fakes, and Frauds Who Changed History

Copyright 2014 by Brianna DuMont

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Manufactured in China, July 2014

This product conforms to CPSIA 2008

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

DuMont, Brianna.

Famous phonies : legends, fakes, and frauds who changed history / Brianna DuMont.

pages cm (The changed history series)

Summary: Famous Phonies: Legends, Fakes, and Frauds Who Changed History is the first in a new nonfiction middle grade series that will explore the underbelly of history, making you question everything you thought you knew about historys finest. Its perfect for the history buff, the reluctant reader, or that kid who loves the strange and unusual.Provided by publisher.

Audience: Ages 9-12.

ISBN 978-1-62914-645-4 (hardback)

1. Impostors and impostureBiographyJuvenile literature. 2. DeceptionJuvenile literature. I. Title. II. Title: Legends, fakes, and phonies who changed history.

CT9980.D87 2014

920.02dc23 2014022733

Cover design by Brian Peterson

Cover photo credit Wikimedia Commons Public Domain / Source: Clark Art Institute via Docu 2010

Interior illustrations by Bethany Straker

Book design by Sara Kitchen

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-63220-207-9

Contents

Authors Note

This book isnt about rewriting history. I dont want to obliterate anybodys beloved Bard. But this book is about expanding history. Lets leave it to the scholars in their ivory towers to debate the finer points of oral transmission in Ancient Greece, or how many ruffled Elizabethan actors it took to write a bawdy joke. Their job is to argue all day. My job is to bring those arguments down from the tower and give a new side to an old face. Taking the stuffiness out of those debates is just a bonus, because I truly believe history is the greatest subject out there, and it deserves some loosening of the collars. All of the research is their work; I just read all their books and tried to stay as accurate as possible in a world built around contradictions. Apologies to all my historian friends if I glossed over one too many of their finer points in my quest to write a really great childrens book!

History would be a wonderful thing, if only it were true. Tolstoy

enter at your own risk

Introduction

Caution: Extremely Controversial

If youre looking for witty sayings by Confucius or electrifying tales of George Washingtons brilliance, youve got the wrong book. Sure, those famous guys are in here, but itd be dull as rocks to rehash stuff youve already learned. Besides, theres something those other books didnt tell you about these fabulously famous figures. They never existed.

Ah, got your attention, did I?

Its not as easy as all that, of course. Your teachers arent out to scam you so dont throw out your history books just yet. As usual, the truth isnt black and white. Many of the figures in this book were real people. They lived and breathed, just like you and me. Only, they werent exactly the brilliant figures we learn about in school. Some were fake; some were phony; and some were just plain made up. The people who were once real have been crushed by their own legends long ago. Today, we actually think the legends are the real deal.

They arent.

This book isnt trying to get rid of anybodys beloved Bard or peace-loving cannibal, but it is trying to expand your knowledge about history. So if controversy makes your skin tingle and mysteries make your head ache, this may not be the book for you. Its chock full of both. But if you want to know who really wrote Homers epics, or how Shakespeare could possibly be a big, fat phony, then dive in and enjoy another side of historys movers and shakers.

Chapter

Confucius

Man of Many Sayings

Lived: Sixth century BCE, China

Occupation: The Great Teacher

Way More Popular than Bieber

Today, Confucius would rule the Twitter-sphere with all his pithy sayings, just as he ruled ancient Chinas word game. Instead of Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself, today, Confuciuss quips would be more like: B4 U EMBARK ON A JOURNEY OF REVNGE, DIG 2 GRAVZ. But hey, the message is still there.

Confucius lived at the same time as other great thinkers, such as Thales in Miletus and Buddha in India. Maybe it was something in the water. In any case, the sixth century BCE churned out more great thinkers than Harvard has churned out presidents.

After people in China realized the potential of the great stuff coming out of Confuciuss mouth, they started flocking to him. Some say that over three thousand disciples followed him around the country. Many scholars believe it was probably closer to seventy-two (although thats even suspicious). Still, thats an impressive number before things like Twitter and Facebook could help get the word out about the new guy in town.

Confuciuss sayings were gathered together in a book called the Analects .

The Analects: just dont call them an autobiography.

The Analects brims with useful aphorismsshort blurbs about the best ways to live, work, and learn. At least, thats what the history books tell us. But in reality, most of these sayings werent written down until a century after Confucius lived. Not only that, but much of what we know about Confuciuss life was compiled decades, and even centuries, after his death.

Whos to say this guy wasnt some old fraud?

Well, if he was, it wasnt his fault. After Confucius died in 479 BCE, his followers started remembering all the great things he did: Thought up hundreds of brilliant sayings; invented a new philosophy; stood over nine feet tall; slayed a fire-breathing dragon while wearing fuzzy, pink bunny slippers. Done, done, and done.

Okay, maybe not that last one, but you can see how easily his reputation snowballed. Everyone wanted to turn this man into a legend. Maybe they just felt bad for ignoring him during his lifetime.

It isnt easy being awesome .

Confucius Who?

So, whats the story behind the most influential man in Chinese history? With thousands of followers, or at least a few dozen, he was probably handsome and well-spoken, right? Not really. History tells us that he was ugly and grotesquely tall, which sounds like a troll. Even his future biographers didnt try to sugarcoat the truth about his appearancebut they also had no problem bending the facts to make Confucius seem better than he probably was.