Joe Hill - Twittering From the Circus of the Dead

Twittering from

the Circus of the Dead

A Story

Joe Hill

Twittering from the Circus of the Dead

What is Twitter?

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co-workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? . . . Answers must be under 140 characters in length and can be sent via mobile texting, instant message, or the Web.

from twitter.com

TYME2WASTE Im only trying this because Im so bored I wish I was dead. Hi Twitter. Want to know what Im doing? Screaming inside.

8:17 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE My, didnt that sound melodramatic.

8:19 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Lets try this again. Hello Twitterverse. I am Blake and Blake is me. What am I doing? Counting seconds.

8:23 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Only about 50,000 more until we pack up and finish what is hopefully the last family trip of my life.

8:25 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Its been all downhill since we got to Colorado. And I dont mean on my snowboard.

8:27 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE We were supposed to spend the break boarding and skiing but its too cold and wont stop snowing so we had to go to plan B.

8:29 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Plan B is Mom and I face off in a contest to see who can make the other cry hot tears of rage and hate first.

8:33 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Im winning. All I have to do to make Mom leave the room at this point is walk into it. Wait, Im walking into the room where she is now . . .

8:35 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Shes such a mean bitch.

10:11 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE @caseinSD, @bevsez, @harmlesspervo yay my real friends! I miss San Diego. Home soon.

10:41 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE @caseinSD Hell no Im not afraid Mom is going to read any of this. Shes never going to know about it.

10:46 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE After she made me take down my blog, its not like Im ever going to tell her.

10:48 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE You know what bitchy thing she said to me a couple hours ago? She said the reason I dont like Colorado is because I cant blog about it.

10:53 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Shes always saying the Net is more real for me and my friends than the world. For us nothing really happens till someone blogs about it.

10:55 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Or writes about it on their Facebook page. Or at least sends an instant message about it. She says the internet is life validation.

10:55 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Oh and we dont go online because its fun. She has this attitude that people socially network cause theyre scared to die. Its deep.

10:58 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE She sez no one ever blogs their own death. No one instant-messages about it. No ones Facebook status ever says dead.

10:59 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE So for online people, death doesnt happen. People go online to hide from death and wind up hiding from life. Words right from her lips.

11:01 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Shit like that, she ought to write fortune cookies for a living. You see why I want to strangle her. With an ethernet cable.

11:02 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Little bro asked if I could blog about him having sex with a certain goth girl from school to make it real, but no one laughed.

11:06 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE I told Mom, no, the reason I hate Colorado is cause Im stuck with her and its all waaaaay too real.

11:09 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE And she said that was progress and got this smug bitch look on her face and then Dad threw down his book & left the room.

11:11 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE I feel worst for him. A few more months and Im gone forever, but hes stuck with her for life and all her anger and the rest of it.

11:13 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Im sure he wishes he just got us plane tickets now. Suddenly our van is looking like the setting for a cage-match duel to the death.

11:15 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE All of us jammed in together for 3 days. Who will emerge alive? Place your bets, ladies and germs. Personally I predict no survivors.

11:19 PM 28 Feb from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Arrr. Fuck. Shit. It was dark when I went to bed and it is dark now and Dad says its time to leave. This is so terribly wrong.

6:21 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Were going. Mom gave the condo a careful search to make sure nothing got left behind, which is how she found me.

7:01 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Damn, knew I needed a better hiding place.

7:02 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Dad just said the whole trip ought to take between 35 and 40 hours. I offer this as conclusive proof there is no God.

7:11 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Tweeting just to piss Mom off. She knows if Im typing something on my phone, Im obviously engaged in sin.

7:23 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Im expressing myself and staying in touch with my friends, and she hates it. Whereas if I was knitting and unpopular . . .

7:25 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE . . . then Id be just like her when she was 17. And Id also marry the first guy who came along and get knocked up by 19.

7:25 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Coming down the mountain in the snow. Coming down the mountain in the snow. 1 more hairpin turn and my stomachs gonna blow . . .

7:30 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE My contribution to this glorious family moment is going to come when I barf on my little brothers head.

7:49 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE If we wind up in a snowbank and have a Donner Party, I know whose ass theyll be chewing on first. Mine.

7:52 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Of course my survival skillz would amount to Twittering madly for someone to rescue us.

7:54 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Mom would make a slingshot out of rubber from the tires, kill squirrels with it, make a fur bikini out of em, and be sad when we were rescued.

7:56 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Dad would go out of his mind because wed have to burn his books to stay warm.

8:00 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie

TYME2WASTE Eric would put on a pair of my pantyhose. Not to stay warm. Just cause my little brother wants to wear my pantyhose.

8:00 AM 1 Mar from Tweetie