Chris-Rachael Oseland - Steamdrunks : 101 steampunk cocktails and mixed drinks

SteamDrunks: 101 Steampunk Cocktails and Mixed Drinks

by Chris-Rachael Oseland

Copyright 2012 Chris-Rachael Oseland
Cover Art by Vicktoria Riley
Kindle Edition
Kindle Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If youre reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Contents

Steampunk Cocktail Basics

Be honest. You bought this book because you thought it was going to be an endless parade of gin and absinthe, maybe with a little rum thrown in for people who cosplay Airship Sky Pirates. You'll find those drinks near the end. Compared to what most people were really drinking in the 19th century, those familiar drinks are downright boring.
First, I'm taking you on an adventure through improbable uses of household staples. You'll find punch recipes which could be confused for farmers cheese, tea recipes that will knock you out rather than wake you up, and downright chewable eggy cream curdles.
Along the way, you'll also find some shockingly tasty 19th century recipes using all natural ingredients you already have at home.
In the spirit of authenticity, you won't find recipes using artificial flavors or chemical substitutes in here. Don't get me wrong. The pinnacle of modernity can be summed up by chocolate pie flavored vodka served in a candy cane shooter glass and topped with cherry flavored nondairy alcoholic whipped cream, none of which include any ingredients found outside a chemistry set. Imagine everything necessary to make that cheap, tasty drink possible. It's awe inspiring. We live in the future.
Sometimes, though, it's fun to visit the past. Part of Steampunk's allure is pulling back the veil of time and enjoying a simpler world full of optimism, enthusiasm, and objects real people can make with their own hands. Or, in the case of these recipes, drinks real people can mix in their own kitchens. They're more labor intensive than simply throwing three types of vodka in a martini glass and calling it a cocktail, but the genuine flavors of the 19th century are worth it.
STOCKING YOUR STEAMPUNK BAR
Vodka cocktails are a relatively recent invention. Your Steampunk alcohols are:
Brandy
Whiskey
Rum
Gin
Vermouth
Hard Cider
Red Wine
Champagne
Forget your modern mixers. For Steampunk drinks, you'll need:
Milk
Cream
Eggs
Sugar
Tea
Lemons
Limes
Oranges
Cinnamon Sticks
Fresh nutmeg and a small grater
Bitters
You can now make 3/4 of the cocktails in this book. Throw in some flour, butter and baking powder and you can also make a cake.

Milk Drinks

The Victorians liked nothing better than a drink they could chew. Below, my fine ladies and gentlemen, you will find a plethora of recipes where curdling is the desired effect. Let these drinks sit out too long and a few of them are halfway to becoming alcoholic cheese.
Thank goodness for Steampunk.
If we were authentic Victorian recreationists, our ladies wouldn't proudly wear their undergarments on the outside of their clothes and every gear we owned would actually have a function. Pshaw, I say. If we can send lightning thieves up in airships by god we can create a thick, creamy beverage that can't be confused for spoiled paneer.
While I don't like to chew my drinks, I do like to come as close as possible to recreating an authentic flavor of the time. That's why, for the following recipes, I lean heavily towards the two milk substitutes which would've been available in 19th century kitchens - almond milk and coconut milk. Creating almond milk involved a labor intensive process favored by patriotic sorts who didn't want to muck about with all those foreign ingredients. It's thin, brown, and naturally low fat, but has a neutral flavor that blends into the background of your drink. Coconut milk, on the other hand, will provide you a richer, creamier texture more reminiscent of actual dairy without the pesky curdling, but at the cost of adding a notable flavor influenced by the furthest reaches of the British Empire. In many cases, you're best off mixing the two.
You can always pick up store bought milk substitute beverages, but the first ingredient in most of those is sugar or high fructose corn syrup. They're wonderful inventions, but speaking from experience, they'll give you a radically different flavor from that enjoyed by the Victorians.
In the spirit of authenticity, I offer you a recipe for almond milk. It's terrible on cereal and absolute rubbish for whitening your tea, but it makes a surprisingly good mixed drink.

Victorian Almond Milk
4 cups almonds
1 cup roughly chopped dates
12-16 cups water
cheesecloth
large stock pot
colander
Buy the cheapest unsalted, raw almonds and dates you can find in bulk. They don't need to be pretty. Dump the almonds into your food processor and grind those nuts like the souls of your indentured staff. When you have a coarse meal, throw in the dates. These provide an authentic period sweetness. If you're feeling lazy you can add half a cup of sugar instead. Whatever you do, don't add any honey or molasses. If you do, congratulations, you're halfway towards making a semi-palatable gluten free pie crust. You want powdery almonds, not a sticky mess.
Once you've ground your almonds and dates down to the texture of coarse whole grain flour, it's time to add the water. Fill your food processor with as much water as it can handle and pulse a few more times until everything is nicely blended.
Now it's time for a nice game of Russian nesting dolls. Line a colander with your cheesecloth. Put the cheesecloth lined colander into your stock pot. Now carefully pour the contents of your food processor into the cheesecloth lined colander and let it slowly drain into the stockpot.
You should now have a heavy, damp mass of almonds in the colander and a thin gray-brown fluid in the stockpot. Congratulations on making almond milk! I tend to go for 3 pressings in order to leach all the tasty goodness out of the almonds.
Squeeze the cheesecloth like you're strangling a poacher. When it's dry and lifeless, dump the almonds back into your food processor, refill it with water, and pulse again until you have a second batch of almond slurry. Once more, carefully strain it into the cheesecloth lined colander. Repeat the process one last time as though you're ekeing the last essence from a gelfling's soul.
If you want to concentrate the flavor of your almond milk you can now put it on a boil and reduce it by up to 1/3.
Since you have a honking mass of almond flour left over, you can always add some oats, butter, cinnamon and honey in order to make a tasty fruit crumble topping. Ignore advice that says the leftover grounds from almond milk make a good body scrub. Those lying bastards just want to see how many people will spackle their armpits together.

Cognac Milk
1 shot Cognac
1 shot Dark Creme de Cacao
1 shot Whole Cream
Fresh ground Nutmeg
Unlike most milk drinks, this hearty winter cocktail was actually meant to be served cold. If your evening is destined to involve a generous amount of drinking, indulge in the whole cream. Your body will appreciate the fat and calories while your mind appreciates the spirits.
Pour your Cognac, Creme de Cacao and whole cream into a cocktail shaker full of ice. Pummel the shaker so roughly people think you're trying to make butter. Gently pour the frothy mix into a martini glass and top it with a dusting of fresh ground nutmeg. If you ignore the disturbing similarity to Santorum, you'll find it a refreshing and filling drink.