Andrew K. Smith - The Adderall Empire
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THE ADDERALL EMPIRE
EMPIRE
A Life With ADHD
and the Millennials
Drug of Choice
Andrew K. Smith
THE ADDERALL EMPIRE
A Life With ADHD and the Millennials Drug of Choice
2014 Andrew K. Smith.
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other,except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing. Morgan James and The Entrepreneurial Publisher are trademarks of Morgan James, LLC.
www.MorganJamesPublishing.com
The Morgan James Speakers Group can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event visit The Morgan James Speakers Group at www.TheMorganJamesSpeakersGroup.com .
ISBN 978-1-61448-892-7 paperback
ISBN 978-1-61448-893-4 eBook
ISBN 978-1-61448-894-1 audio
ISBN 978-1-61448-895-8 hardcover
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013955199
Front Cover Design by:
Brian Matthew Chinn
Cover Design by:
Chris Treccani
www.3dogdesign.net
Interior Design by:
Bonnie Bushman
In an effort to support local communities, raise awareness and funds, Morgan James Publishing donates a percentage of all book sales for the life of each book to Habitat for Humanity Peninsula and Greater Williamsburg.
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Dear Mom & Dad,
This Book Is For You
My true-to-life name is Andrew K. Smith. The incidents described in this book are genuine to the best of my memory, though certain time periods, characters, whereabouts, and other frivolous elements have been reformed to safeguard the innocent.
Please be advised that I wrote this book not for me, but for the readers. I wrote it not only to rejuvenate awareness of ADHD, but to bring into society a more complete view of the effects Adderall can have on a life.
Heres to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differentlytheyre not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you cant do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Steve Jobs
Those first few sunbreaks are spellbinding, flooded with hyper awareness. I see gold grass, clear diamonds. I smile, and smile again. I begin to realize that, like Lewis and Clark, I might need a compass, something to point me in the right direction. But when it comes to decrypting well-being, as opposed to a whole geographic region, there is little support.
So as the sun comes up in Edmonds, Washington, I lie on my hand-me-down mattress inspecting the quick, morning sun sparkling on my pill canteen. No matter what is happening in that room, I know my pills are watching me. The pills glare out of the bottle: a light-carrot orange, oblong, diamond capsule. Quickly put together, small and lightweight, with a panicky, smooth, plastic-like crust.
But there is something about the way the small orange beads are still, something scornful and knowing that tells me that somewhere below this restless sturdiness is a flaw as infinite as it is inflexible, like an ex-girlfriends hazardous rage.
Swiftly I turn to face the bottle, as though Gods hand came down to Earth and slapped me in the face, turning my life around. The house is blackening. The bottle stands on my nightstand at my service. I am terribly aware of the pills muscles, and of mine. I get up and walk over to the nightstand and stick my tongue out at it. I want to stand here, concealed and still. But then, far inside, I feel the chemical bond of amphetamines scrambling to help improve my well-being, gushing to unclutter the gates of the synthetically built empire and let the noble archduke of delight come in.
I feel aimless, like a ball, bouncing and bouncing, and I begin to wonder where Ill land: Somewhere in the Adderall Empire.
All the years of being the kid who parents told their sons and daughters not to hang out withall those times I embarrassed my family and myselfwere over. My main fear was that I would end up in jail or become that crazy guy everyone avoids in town. So when those cops took the handcuffs off me during my freshman year of high school, my parents got me some assistance.
My life changed when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I was prescribed Adderall and entered the Adderall Empire.
The real turning point happened when I was fifteen years old. The night before I decided to go streaking, it was noisy and lavish at my curly-haired friend Chesters house on Pine Street. A few cohorts and I slumped on the couch, watching Will Ferrell streak through the quad in the movie Old School.
It inspired me. I thought about how liberating it would feel to expose myself for the public laughs of my entourage. I voiced my thoughts, considering it harmless, even kind, to pull the stunt. So I pinkie promised everyone in the room: At the next football game, at half-time, I would streak.
Earlier that year I had transferred from Archbishop Murphy High School, a private school with four hundred students, to Edmonds Woodway High School, a public school with two thousand students. I had already found a circle of friends who accepted me, but I wanted to be popular. I also wanted to feel free and to rebel against society. Most of all, though, I wanted to make people laugh. I was a fiend for laughsno heed to the consequenceand that desire always seemed to get me into trouble.
It was the middle of October. Wet leaves stuck to the streets and a buzz began to spread through town that something was about to go down. Nobody could quite pinpoint itexcept for my friends.
When I woke up on Friday, my thoughts were doing jumping jacks off the walls of my brain. I was anxious from head to toe. My feelings about the stunt were sprinkled with both triumph and guilt. I loved my friends and I had to be a man of my word. These were neighbors, friends Id grown up with and was becoming a man with. They were my biggest fans. But I couldnt completely quell the thoughts of possible repercussions.
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