Tim Irwin - Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others

1. Chapter 3
2. Chapter 8
3. Chapter 10

Tim Irwin, Ph.D.

Copyright 2018 Dr. Tim Irwin. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Names: Irwin, Tim, 1949

Title: Extraordinary influence : how great leaders bring out the best in others / Tim Irwin.

Description: Hoboken : Wiley, 2018. | Includes index. |

Identifiers: LCCN 2017058808 (print) | LCCN 2018000083 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119464440 (pdf) | ISBN 9781119464433 (epub) | ISBN 9781119464426 (hardback) | ISBN 9781119464440 (ePDF)

Subjects: LCSH: Leadership. | Personnel management. | BISAC: BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Human Resources & Personnel Management. | BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Leadership. | BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Management.

Classification: LCC HD57.7 (ebook) | LCC HD57.7 .I793 2018 (print) | DDC 658.4/092dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017058808

Cover Design: Wiley

To my Clients, from whom I have learned so much over the years.

Tim Tassopoulos

President and Chief Operating Office, Chick-fil-A

I am grateful that one of the mentors who has wielded extraordinary influence in my life is Dr. Tim Irwin. Tim is a consultant to many of America's most respected organizations and Fortune 100 companies. His faith is evident, his love for family and friends is unshakeable, and his commitment to developing others is impressive. That's the heart behind this book.

My relationship with Tim started over 30 years ago. Tim was an advisor and consultant to Chick-fil-A founder, Truett Cathy, and Chick-fil-A president, Jimmy Collins. As the generations of Chick-fil-A leadership changed over time, Tim's insights, counsel, and active consulting about talent management, organizational effectiveness, leadership development, and culture have made a tremendous contribution to our company and its leaders. I encourage you to read this book to glean your own insights as a leader, teacher, coach, or parent, from Tim's broad and practical book.

Smart people have different definitions of leadership. Warren Bennis defined leadership as the capacity to translate intention into reality and sustain it. Marcus Buckingham, author and consultant, says that leaders rally people to a better future. John Maxwell, pastor and author, says, Leadership is influencenothing more, nothing less. I find value in each of these perspectives, but Tim Irwin's definition of leadership as extraordinary influence aligns with my own personal definition. Extraordinary influence is ultimately how one person positively impacts others through choice and not through forced compliance. This is real leadershipnot the power or prestige that is often confused with strong leadership.

What is the one, essential quality of a leader who wants to make an impact in a positive way? What matters most for the leader who wants to leave a meaningful legacy for the next generation? What capacity should a leader develop most to fuel their leadership engine? The answer to each of these questions is the sameextraordinary influence.

I encourage you to read, reflect, and applyput the leadership principles found in this book into practice, as I have. Become an inspiring leader known for extraordinary influence. Develop your character as a leader. Then, dare to lead!

Tim Irwin hits a needed reset button in Extraordinary Influence. He compels us to consider the power of our words, to build up and to tear down. From my observations in 50plus years of business leadership, this book's focus on affirmation is right on target as the central ingredient in building a dedicated team and productive work environment. It is rich in uncommon wisdom and immediately applicable in your spheres of influence.

John D. Beckett
Chairman, The Beckett Companies
Author: Loving Monday and Mastering Monday

Combining fresh insights from neuroscience and behavioral psychology with a lifetime of realworld experience with CEOs and other leaders, Irwin gives us a template to help bring out the best in others. Many of his teachings are counterintuitive and challenge traditional leadership guidance. That's when Tim is at his best.

David W. Miller, PhD,
Director, Princeton University Faith & Work Initiative;
President, The Avodah Institute

Prepare to be disrupted. Tim's latest book challenges decades of accepted approaches to the motivation of others. Any of us who lead an organization want the members of our organizations to flourish. Tim uses his experiences, the latest science, and the wisdom of highly effective CEOs to guide us into a better approach. This book is a must read for anyone serious about improving their leadership.

Greg Brown
CEO Learfield

If we, as leaders, are only as good as the people we lead, it behooves us to bring out their best. In Extraordinary Influence, Dr. Tim Irwin provides a practical and intuitive guide, backed by science, on how we can bring out the best and motivate others.