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For Jenn, Rory, and Phoebe
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
When I was little, space launches were a huge deal in my life. I grew up in Dallas, Texas, in a Catholic family with four kids, a stay-at-home mom, and an aerospace engineer dad who worked on the Apollo program.
On the day of a launch, wed all pile into the car and drive to the home of one of my dads friendsanother Apollo engineerand watch the drama together. I can still feel in my bones the suspense of those countdowns. Twenty seconds and counting, T minus fifteen seconds, guidance is internal, Twelve, Eleven, Ten, Nine, ignition sequence start, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Zero. All engines running. Liftoff! We have a liftoff!!!
Those moments always gave me a thrillespecially that moment of lift when the engines ignite, the earth shakes, and the rocket starts to rise. I recently came across the phrase moment of lift in a book by Mark Nepo, one of my favorite spiritual writers. He uses the words to capture a moment of grace. Something was lifted like a scarf on the wind, he writes, and his grief went silent and he felt whole.
Marks image of lift is filled with wonder. And wonder has two meanings for me. It can mean awe, and it can mean curiosity. I have loads of awebut just as much curiosity. I want to know how lift happens!
At one time or another, weve all been sitting on a plane at the end of a long takeoff run, waiting anxiously for the moment of lift. When the kids were little and we were on a plane ready to take off, Id say to them wheels, wheels, wheels, and the moment the plane got off the ground Id say Wings!! When the kids were a bit older, they would join me, and we all said it together for years. Once every so often, though, wed say wheels, wheels, wheels more times than we expected, and Id be thinking, Why is it taking so long to get off the ground!?
Why does it sometimes take so long? And why does it sometimes happen so fast? What takes us past the tipping point when the forces pushing us up overpower the forces pulling us down and were lifted from the earth and begin to fly?
As Ive traveled the world for twenty years doing the work of the foundation I cofounded with my husband, Bill, Ive wondered:
How can we summon a moment of lift for human beingsand especially for women? Because when you lift up women, you lift up humanity.
And how can we create a moment of lift in human hearts so that we all want to lift up women? Because sometimes all thats needed to lift women up is to stop pulling them down.
In my travels, Ive learned about hundreds of millions of women who want to decide for themselves whether and when to have children, but they cant. They have no access to contraceptives. And there are many other rights and privileges that women and girls are denied: The right to decide whether and when and whom to marry. The right to go to school. Earn an income. Work outside the home. Walk outside the home. Spend their own money. Shape their budget. Start a business. Get a loan. Own property. Divorce a husband. See a doctor. Run for office. Ride a bike. Drive a car. Go to college. Study computers. Find investors. All these rights are denied to women in some parts of the world. Sometimes these rights are denied under law, but even when theyre allowed by law, theyre still often denied by cultural bias against women.
My journey as a public advocate began with family planning. Later I started to speak up about other issues as well. But I quickly realizedbecause I was quickly toldthat it wasnt enough to speak up for family planning, or even for each of the issues Ive just named. I had to speak up for women. And I soon saw that if we are going to take our place as equals with men, it wont come from winning our rights one by one or step by step; well win our rights in waves as we become empowered.
These are lessons Ive learned from the extraordinary people I want you to meet. Some will make your heart break. Others will make your heart soar. These heroes have built schools, saved lives, ended wars, empowered girls, and changed cultures. I think theyll inspire you. Theyve inspired me.
Theyve shown me the difference it makes when women are lifted up, and I want everyone to see it. Theyve shown me what people can do to make an impact, and I want everyone to know it. That is why I wrote this book: to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life. I want us to see the ways we can help each other flourish. The engines are igniting; the earth is shaking; we are rising. More than at any time in the past, we have the knowledge and energy and moral insight to crack the patterns of history. We need the help of every advocate now. Women and men. No one should be left out. Everyone should be brought in. Our call is to lift women upand when we come together in this cause, we are the lift.
Let me start with some background. I attended Ursuline Academy, an all-girls Catholic high school in Dallas. In my senior year, I took a campus tour of Duke University and was awed by its computer science department. That decided it for me. I enrolled at Duke and graduated five years later with a bachelors degree in computer science and a masters in business. Then I got a job offer from IBM, where I had worked for several summers, but I turned it down to take a job at a smallish software company called Microsoft. I spent nine years there in various positions, eventually becoming general manager of information products. Today I work in philanthropy, spending most of my time searching for ways to improve peoples livesand often worrying about the people I will fail if I dont get it right. Im also the wife of Bill Gates. We got married on New Years Day in 1994. We have three children.
Thats the background. Now let me tell you a longer storyabout my path to womens empowerment and how, as Ive worked to empower others, others have empowered me.
In the fall of 1995, after Bill and I had been married nearly two years and were about to leave on a trip to China, I discovered I was pregnant. This China trip was a huge deal for us. Bill rarely took time off from Microsoft, and we were going with other couples as well. I didnt want to mess up the trip, so I considered not telling Bill I was pregnant until we came back. For a day and a half, I thought, Ill just save the news. Then I realized, No, Ive got to tell him because what if something goes wrong? And, more basically, Ive got to tell him because its his baby, too.
When I sat Bill down for the baby talk one morning before work, he had two reactions. He was thrilled about the baby, and then he said, You considered not telling me? Are you kidding?
It hadnt taken me long to come up with my first bad parenting idea.
We went to China and had a fantastic trip. My pregnancy didnt affect things except for one moment when we were in an old museum in Western China and the curator opened an ancient mummy case; the smell sent me hurtling outside to avoid a rush of morning sicknesswhich I learned can come at any time of day! One of my girlfriends who saw me race out said to herself, Melindas pregnant.