Ben Carpenter - The bigs: the secrets nobody tells students and young professionals about how to find choose a career, find a great job, do a great job, be a leader, start a business, manage your money, stay out of

BEN CARPENTER

The Secrets Nobody Tells Students and Young Professionals About How to:

CHOOSE A CAREER

FIND A GREAT JOB

DO A GREAT JOB

BE A LEADER

START A BUSINESS

MANAGE YOUR MONEY

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE

LIVE A HAPPY LIFE

Cover image: linearcurves/istockphoto

Cover design: Wiley

Copyright 2014 by Ben Carpenter. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with the respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.

For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

ISBN 978-1-118-91702-2; (cloth) ISBN 978-1-118-91871-5 (ebk);

ISBN 978-1-118-91872-2 (ebk)

Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless itmeans effort, pain, difficulty. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.

Theodore Roosevelt

When you become responsible for yourself, and you are being paid to do a job, you are in the big leagues. The real world is tough, and competitive, and a lot is expected of you. As The New Yorker cartoon spoofs, no one will be handing you a bouquet of flowers.

The New Yorker, August 13 and 20, 2012

In baseball, the bigs is slang for the big leagues and the expression Welcome to the big leagues refers to the specific act of a veteran pitcher (identified in the cartoon by the stubble on his face) throwing a fastball, which often exceeds 90 mph, at a rookie batter from the opposing team the first time they face each other. The purpose of this violent and potentially dangerous act is to attempt to intimidate the rookie to see if he is tough enough to play with the big boys in the big leagues.

This genesis of this book, however, wasn't a fastball. It was a curveball thrown at me by my eldest daughter, Avery. After a year-long search, she received her first post-college job offer. The job was to be the assistant to the co-executive producer of a new network daytime TV talk show. The co-executive producer, Kathy, called Avery personally and asked her to start this Mondayjust four days away.

When Avery told me the good news I was ecstatic. This was Avery's dream job and I knew she would be terrific at it. I was over the moon with excitement and happiness for her. That isuntil the next day when Avery threw me the curveball in the form of an email to her mother, Leigh, and me. The email was titled, Is This Okay to Send? Addressed to her new boss it read:

Hi Kathy,

I can start whenever you need me to but, if possible, I would like to start a week from Monday because that would allow me to tie up some loose ends. I am looking forward to working with you.

Best,

Avery

LOOSE ENDS?!A WEEK FROM MONDAY?! As I read that sentence over and over, I could feel my eyes bugging out and my blood pressure rising. I wasn't mad at Avery; I was scared for her. I fully understood what was behind Avery's desire to start a week latershe wanted to go apartment hunting. Avery had two college girlfriends lined up to live with, but she hadn't been able to get an apartment until she got a job, and Avery couldn't wait to leave home and move into the city.

While I sympathized with Avery's desire to move, when I read her email the first thought that entered my mind was my daughter had just been offered a job in the big leagues and she had no idea what was expected. To me, this was as if Avery had just been given the opportunity to play center field for the New York Yankees and she wanted to ask the team's general manager if she could report a week late! At that moment I realized, despite being a 23-year-old college graduate with an immense amount of intelligence and charm, Avery had a great deal to learn about the working world. As you know, fear is a great motivator. Immediately, after responding to Avery and telling her not to send the email, in a full-blown panic, I sat down and wrote a stream of consciousness email with bullet points for her to follow in her new job.

A few hours later, I emailed my list to Avery as well as to my longtime administrative assistant and friend, Lori Beaton. Lori quickly responded saying she had some additional thoughts for Avery and I should write a book on the topic. I never considered writing a book, but I had intended to jot down a list of life advice for my three daughters. After a series of health scares, I feel my mortality much more than a normal 55-year-old. In my role as my daughters protector, I wanted to be certain they could benefit from my experience, knowledge and mistakes even if I wasn't there to tell them.

So here I amit's 2:30 a.m. Sunday morning and Avery is just getting in from a night out partying (better now than after she starts her job on Monday). I am unable to sleepsitting in the kitchenwriting these thoughts down.Leigh, on her way to bed alone for the third night in a row, expressed her amazement (annoyance?) that I have become obsessed with writing this book whenjust a few days agoI hadn't ever mentioned writing a book. She has a pointall I know is Avery getting her first job has energized and scared me, and I won't be able to sleep until I have gotten these thoughts out of my head and onto this paper