Christine L’Amour [L’Amour - Hers Until Christmas

The one thing in this life Rafaela Costa loved more than women was Christmas not Christmas like the Americans celebrated around her, with their terrible snow and all this cold, but the one she had at home in Brazil. December 25th was the height of summer and it was spent at the beach with her entire extended family, and everyone was sweaty, hungry and loud.

She hadnt spent Christmas at home in years.

She sat on her bed in her small cramped room, huddled under her blanket, and clutching a cold cellphone to her colder cheek.

Sorry, Papa, she murmured, voice low. You know plane tickets have been so expensive these days"

Its okay, my daughter her father answered softly on the other end of the line. I understand. I still say I should have moved with you when you went all the way to the other side of the country for college"

Rafa interrupted him with a laugh. And lose your job? Come on, Pa. Im the one who couldnt get into any university closer by. Are you sure youll be okay there, celebrating alone?

Dont worry about this old man! he reassured her, though she could see how he was straining to sound cheerful. You know my neighbors invited me to celebrate with themand anyway, Im not the one suffering with all that snow right now!

Rafa groaned theatrically and flopped back on the bed. Damn the day I left Florida!

Youre going to spend Christmas with Angelina, yes? her father asked.

Oh, yes, Rafaela thought dryly to herself, shed planned on spending Christmas with Angel, her best friend, but the woman had since told her, apologetically, that she wanted to spend the holidays with her boyfriend. It would be, after all, their first Christmas together. Rafa understood, really, she did.

Her father, though, would be sad if he knew she was going to be completely alone.

Yeah, she lied, closing her eyes. Ill tell them you sent a hello, okay? Dont worry about me! You know how they areIll leave their house twenty pounds fatter.

Good, her father replied, satisfied.

Speaking of, Angels calling me right now, Rafa lied again, eager to leave her father in high spirits before he could remember she wouldnt be over for Christmas. Ill text you later, okay, Pa?

Okay, okay, leave your poor old man alone! Rafa snorted, she could picture the way hed be shaking his head sadly. Ill talk to you later.

Ill see you.

He hung up. Rafa let both her arm and her cellphone fall to the mattress and let out sigh. Angel wasnt even home, and though their third roommate, Carol, was here, Rafa wasnt really close to her. Rafa turned to her side and curled up in bed, the picture of misery. How she craved home right now, how she longed for her mother, back in Brazil, her cousins and her aunts and uncles and her grandparentsand Angel, too, who was so close to her, but still so far away with her man.

Rafa wanted to go home, but life was good enough here she knew shed stay a little longer, to finish her degree if nothing else.

***

Rafa sat on their lumpy couch with a bowl of cereal on her lap while Carol tapped away at her laptop. The TV was on, the volume low. Rafa was hungry for something heavier than breakfast food. It was late, and very cold. What wouldnt she do for some grilled cheese!

Maybe when Angel comes home , she thought to herself, she could make some for me.

Immediately upon finishing her thought, the door swung open and Angel burst in, three boxes of pizza in her hands. Rafas eyes zeroed in on the pizzas, vision tunneling.

Hello, hello, hello! Angel said, presenting the boxes to them with a flourish. Guess whos here to save your lives?

Angel, Rafa said, heartfelt, putting her hands on her chest. Seriously. Ditch Mike and marry me.

Shed expected Angel to laugh, but she rolled her eyes instead.

Hey, not cool, Mike said, and that was when Rafa realized the man had arrived too. Paws off my girl"

Rafaela gave him a strained, tight-lipped smile. Dont tell me I have paws.

He rolled his eyes. You know what I meant, he said, walking to the kitchen.

Angel shrugged at Rafa and followed him without saying a single word, as if it meant nothing that her boyfriend had said that to Rafa , who was Latina and a lesbian, as if his words didnt hold weight. Carol glanced at Rafa, lines between her brows, but didnt say anything either.

Rafa shoved more cereal into her mouth.

So, who wants mozzarella pizza, who wants meat lovers? Angel called out from the kitchen.

Rafa wanted the first and Carol the second, and the couple came back to the living room with paper plates in their hands. Rafa accepted hers and put her bowl aside. She picked up the slice with her bare hands, lifting it to her mouth.

Back in Brazil, she grumbled, where we put toppings on our pizzas , its impossible to carry it like this

because theres so much more pizza on the pizza that it all just falls off, Angel continued in a mocking tone of voice. We know! You say that every time we have pizza.

Rafa blew a raspberry at her and Angel kicked her ankle, and Rafa found herself unwinding. Angel was still her best friend, no matter how her boyfriend made her act around him.

So, have you found somewhere to spend Christmas at yet? Carol asked around a mouthful of pizza. Im not gonna be here after all, my cousin who doesnt live far asked if I wanted to spend it there.