Christine L’Amour [L’Amour - Hard to Resist

Sunshine Diaz had dreamed of being a teacher her whole life. It was the kind of thing shed known in the core of her being ever since she had been small and pretended her dolls were her students, ever since she grew and saw how terrible her teachers were and decided she could be better , ever since she went through hell in college to get the degree to do this.

She sat at the table in the teachers room and stared at the tests lying in front of her. She was supposed to be grading, but no grading had happened in at least an hour now. Instead, her eyes were unfocused and her mind wholly occupied with thoughts of dinner.

Perhaps shed make lasagna from scratch again, she thought to herself. Itd been some time. Or maybe shed just make those instant noodles again.

and then his father came, and you know how it is, Annes voice came, startling Sunny from her daydreaming. The other woman was just entering the teachers room, her expression haggard and voice tired. Even though there were three other girls who said they saw him harassing Angela, John got scot free because his father is friends with Principal Nova

Sunny felt her own expression turn forlorn and dearly wished she could go back to thinking of dinner.

This was why shed lost her love for her job, no matter how many years shed spent dreaming about it. In her youth she had thought shed be the good teacher, the one whod make sure John didnt go unpunished, who wouldnt care about his daddy being friends with the higher-ups, who would see that things were good and fair. Instead, she had as much power to do anything as any of the others.

How silly of her, she thought, hunching where she sat, to think that she would have made a difference.

Oh, hey, Sunny, Carol, who had entered with Anne, said when she caught sight of Sunny staring sadly in their general direction. Everything okay there? Oh, are you grading? I see now why you look like that.

Sunny sighed dramatically, drooping down on her seat until she was nearly horizontal. It had its intended effect. Her two coworkers faces turned from weary to amused, laughter filling the room.

Id help you if I could, but I dont want to, Carol said.

Id be angry for that, if I wouldnt do the same damn thing in your place, Sunny said truthfully. She stood up at once, tired of being tired, and pushed her dark brown hair away from her face, exposing the dark brown of her eyes. She really needed a haircut. She had been needing it for months, and now it resembled a rats nest. But whatever, she didnt have time. Tell me whats going on with John.

Anne and Carol shared a look, then shrugged. The three of them walked away from the couch where Sunny had made a veritable nest made of students assignments and sat down at a proper table.

The two of them told her what was going on, but it wasnt anything super unexpected or uncommon. It wasnt even Johns first time doing something like this. Sunny didnt know why she had asked when she knew itd only bring her mood even more down. She certainly couldnt do anything. It made her angrier and angrier, and Sunny reeled in her temper because none of this was Anne or Carols fault.

I guess thats that, Carol said at last, propping her cheek up with a fist and closing her eyes. Theres nothing we can do, though you can bet Ill pull that boy into detention as many times as possible to keep him away from her during her volley practice.

There should be more we could do, Sunny muttered, shaking her head, her eyebrows heavy over her dark eyes. I became a teacher to stop things like this.

Anne and Carol gave her sympathetic looks. They couldnt relate. Sunny knew one of them had had a failed career in Mathematics before coming to this school and the other was just making ends meet before she could go back to being a stay-at-home mom, though she couldnt remember which one was which right now.

Did you experience something like this while at school? Anne asked her quietly.

Sunny closed her eyes. In her mind, memories flashed.

Shed been a devil at school. As a teen, she had had less control over her hyperactivity and her lack of impulse control, and her temper made it so shed made many bad decisions. Shed gotten into more fights than she would ever remember. She had never suffered what these girls were suffering with this boy, but she had had a fair share of teachers profoundly failing at being responsible adults around her.

But of course the disaster at the end had been her fault.

She had been the one who arrogantly thought she could handle the vodka someone had snuck into that party. She was the one who goaded Mallory into a fight. She was the one who had pushed Mallory to the pool, too drunk to remember the other girlher rival, her nemesis , with her icy blue eyes and her pitch-black hair, her cold hands and sharp voice, whom Sunny had hated more than anything and who had hated her backcouldnt swim.

Nothing too tragic had happened, unless one counted the fact that Mallorys parents had immediately pulled her from the school and Sunny had never seen her again, which a teenage Sunny had indeed counted. Sunny had never shied away from her guilt in what happened, but the situation had been so profoundly mishandled by every single adult who had come into contact with it that Sunnys resolve to become a teacher had hardened like a diamond there and then.