Fling Echo - Eating an Artichoke

of related interest

Aspergers Syndrome

A Guide for Parents and Professionals

Tony Attwood

ISBN 978 1 85302 577 8

eISBN 978 1 84642 697 1

Pretending to be Normal

Living with Aspergers Syndrome

Liane Holliday-Willey

ISBN 978 1 84905 755 4

eISBN 978 0 85700 987 6

Eating an Artichoke

A Mothers Perspective on Asperger Syndrome

Echo R. Fling

Foreword by Tony Attwood

Jessica Kingsley Publishers

London and Philadelphia

With thanks to Columbia Tristar Motion Picture Group for the use of excerpts from the feature film Short Circuit.

First published in the United Kingdom in 2000

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Echo R. Fling 2000

The right of Echo R. Fling to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 610 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relatiogn to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Fling, Echo. R.

Eating an artichoke : a mothers perspective on

Aspergers syndrome / Echo R. Fling.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 1 85302 711 1 (pbk. : alk. paper)

1. Aspergers syndrome. I. Title.

RC553.A88F58 1999 99-43199

618.928982--dc21 CIP

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

Fling, Echo R.

Eating an artichoke : a mothers perspective on Aspergers syndrome

1. Fling, Echo R. 2. Aspergers syndome - Popular works

I. Title

616.8982

ISBN 978 1 85302 711 6
eISBN 978 1 84642 181 5

For Jimmy, whose courage and bravery continues to astonish me each and every day

Foreword

Echo began her discovery of her sons diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome when his preschool teacher uttered the ominous words I think I need to tell you that I feel something isnt right with your son and you may want to consider having Jimmy evaluated by a specialist. He was distinctly unusual in his ability to understand and play cooperatively with his peers; conversations included obscure extracts from his favourite movie, an irresistible determination to acquire all the specimens of his special interest and an acute sensitivity to particular sounds. Finding a specialist who could explain this unusual profile of abilities was not a simple task and this book enables the reader to accompany Echo as she discovers her sons perception of his world and other peoples perception of her son.

Echo and her family are very brave in allowing others into their personal thoughts, feelings and experiences but her purpose is to share the knowledge she has acquired. At present, the greatest knowledge base on Asperger Syndrome is not in academic texts or easily accessible clinical expertise but dispersed among families. This book will provide parents with an affirmation of their experiences while professionals and parents will gain new insights into Asperger Syndrome and learn some creative strategies to acquire specific skills. Mothers of such children have developed abilities in understanding and translating their childs perspective to educate their family, teachers, therapists, other children and the general public. They have developed negotiation and diplomacy skills in managing potential conflict with government agencies, professionals and members of their family that are the equal of United Nations diplomats. Their commitment to the welfare and happiness of their child, determination to establish appropriate services, and fortitude in the face of rhetoric and ignorance must be acknowledged and steps taken to ease their situation. Echo also describes new areas of concern such as the impact on siblings of having a brother or sister with Asperger Syndrome and the politics of diagnosis and service development.

The title of the book refers to an artichoke of which she and others have to peel back the thorny layers to get to the heart of whats truly the issue with him. Her conclusion is there are many lovely things about Jimmys Aspergerish personality that I find I value. Her biography of Jimmy will be a tribute to his courage and bravery and of great value to fellow parents and professionals who seek an understanding of Asperger Syndrome.

Tony Attwood

October 1999

Preface

When the idea came to me to write this book, I approached my son Jimmy with my thoughts about making our story public. I remember chatting with him about the project at a local Burger King, which was our regular Wednesday night hangout during his sisters piano lessons. As Jimmy and I discussed the various aspects of the book, we weighed up the pros and cons of such a project. We agreed that the bottom line was to help others learn about Asperger Syndrome through our story. What was Jimmys final word on the subject? And we shall help them every one. Dickens Tiny Tim couldnt have said it better.

I wrote this book for several reasons, some of them purely selfish. The idea of keeping a family history is very important to me and this book serves as a record of five years in the life of our family. I also wanted an account so my adult children could someday learn of their mothers thoughts and feelings as she struggled to find answers as she raised her children. Research has shown that genetics play an important part in Asperger Syndrome. The chances are quite likely that my own children will be parents to a child with this disorder. Any voice of experience will help them. I also wrote this book for Jimmy. Historians always say that to best determine our future, we must learn from our past. When he is old enough to understand, it is my hope that my son will read the words Ive written, with an eye towards better understanding the essence of his soul.

This book is not meant to be the end-all on the subject of raising children with Asperger Syndrome. I am not an expert. What lies in its pages is the story of one mothers struggle to cope. My initiation into the artichoke sisterhood may not be the same experience as another mothers. What I hope to be of value are the shared experiences that all parents of children with AS hold in common. Compassion only comes through knowledge and understanding. If only one person is helped by the stories contained within these pages, the effort will have been well worth it.

Echo R. Fling

April 27, 1999

Acknowledgements

A deep thank you to my beloved husband and best friend Jim, for his good humor, his love, and his continued patience when the A-word is brought up at social gatherings; and to my children: Jimmy, for agreeing to let me tell his story, and Caroline, who encouraged me throughout this book project in her own small way. Much appreciation to my sister Dina Roberson, for her unique and valuable insight as she read through my manuscript, and to my dear friend and mentor Pamela Tanguay, who was the other half of my brain throughout this project. I thank her for the many brainstorming sessions, her listening skills, and her judicious use of a razor-sharp editing hacksaw. Thanks to Barb Kirby, for being there first and always; to Robin Levinson for giving me the confidence I needed to begin this book project, and to Tony Attwood for not only supporting me in my efforts, but the whole AS community as well. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for recognizing the need for this genre of books and for being a pleasure to work with. A debt of gratitude to Debbie Dono, Deanie Yasner and all the professionals who have given their efforts and hearts to our family. And last, I would like to recognize my parents, Marv and Doris Roberson, who by their example taught me perception, discernment, the power of prayer, and the value of listening to that still small voice.