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Maureen T. Reddy - Crossing the color line: race, parenting, and culture

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As a racial insider who stands outside accepted marital arrangements, Maureen Reddy grapples toward an understanding of whiteness and of racism. Moving from memoir to race theory, to literary analysis, to interviews with friends, a broad cultural context is explored and insights abound around the question of societal survival.

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title Crossing the Color Line Race Parenting and Culture author - photo 1

title:Crossing the Color Line : Race, Parenting, and Culture
author:Reddy, Maureen T.
publisher:Rutgers University Press
isbn10 | asin:081352105X
print isbn13:9780813521053
ebook isbn13:9780585002675
language:English
subjectRacially mixed children--United States--Case studies, Parent and child--United States, Racism--United States.
publication date:1994
lcc:HQ777.9.R43 1994eb
ddc:305.8
subject:Racially mixed children--United States--Case studies, Parent and child--United States, Racism--United States.
Crossing the Color Line
RACE, PARENTING, AND CULTURE
Maureen T. Reddy
RUTGERS UNIVERSITY PRESS
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Reddy, Maureen T.
Crossing the color line : race, parenting, and culture / by
Maureen T. Reddy.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-8135-2105-X
1. Children of interracial marriageUnited StatesCase studies.
2. Parent and childUnited States. 3. RacismUnited States.
I. Title.
HQ777.9.R43 1994
305.8dc20
94-535
CIP
British Cataloging-in-Publication information available
Copyright 1994 by Maureen T. Reddy
All rights reserved
Manufactured in the United States of America
For Doug, with love
Contents
Preface
ix
Acknowledgments
xv
1
On Lines and Bridges
1
2
Starting Out
19
3
"Why Do White People Have Vaginas?"
41
4
"One Drop of Black Blood"
65
5
The Fourth R
105
6
Mothers, Daughters, Sisters, Comrades
143
Notes
175
Bibliography
185
Index
191

Page ix
Preface
Imagine:
Your nine-year-old son likes to play hide-and-seek games around the neighborhood with other children. One afternoon, you look out the kitchen window and see him crouching behind a neighbor's hedge, with his dark jacket pulled up over the back of his head for camouflage. Suddenly realizing that your child is now tall enough to be mistaken for a teenager, you call him into the house, away from the game. He thinks his greatest danger is being found by the child who is "It," but you know that he is at risk of being shot by someone who sees not a child playing, but the urban predator of television-fueled nightmares, ready to spring from the bushes.
You know that you have waited too long to warn him about this danger, and about others that are real and present now that he resembles an adolescent. He has to be told to keep his hands out of his pockets when he is in stores, for instance, lest he be seen as a shoplifter. He also must learn how to talk to the police who will surely stop him when he is out riding his bike some day soon. You ask your son to feed his pets and to make his bed, hoping the chores will give you enough time to figure out how to explain these facts of life to him without destroying his innocent sense of fun. You never faced such dangers as a child, and so you have no model to follow.
Unless you are white and your family is black, you probably will never confront exactly the dilemma I did early in 1992.1 If everyone in your family is white, you would not have to teach your child to protect himself from these particular dangers. If you are black, you would have familial and personal experience
Page x
to draw upon in teaching your children how to negotiate the world safely, with their self-esteem and sense of possibility protected. A white person in a black family starts from scratch.
Many Americans of all races want to believe that raising children is basically the same project, regardless of the children's and parents' races, arguing that child-rearing issues lack racial inflections2 And some aspects of parenting are indeed race-blind: toilet training, for example, or treating common childhood illnesses. However, I have learned as a white mother of black children that the race-blind issues tend to be the easier issues, and that far more of the hard questions I have about raising my children center on race. This should not be a surprise in a society as racialized as the one in which we live. Pick up a newspaper in any urban area in the United States on any day, and it is virtually certain that you will find at least one major story on race, with none of the news good: charges of racial discrimination in hiring practices, debates about affirmative action, high unemployment among so-called minority groups, racial violence, racial tensionsall these are front-page staples. The grim statistics on black life chances are familiar, at least in outline. Whereas blacks make up 12.1 percent of the U.S. population, they earn only 7.2 percent of the aggregate family income, and receive only 5.7 percent of all bachelor's degrees and 3.5 percent of doctorates awarded by U.S. colleges and universities.3 Blacks are overrepresented in prisons (45.3% of inmates), as victims of crime (50.8 percent of murder victims, 33.2 percent of rape victims, and 30.8 percent of robbery victims were black in 1989-90), and in ill-paid occupations (25 percent of hotel maids are black, for example, but only 0.9 percent of architects are).4 In 1990, blacks were nearly three times as likely to be unemployed as were whites and nearly four times as likely to live in poverty, earning only approximately $580 for each $1,000 earned by white families.5 Blacks have a
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