Survival Mom
How to Prepare Your Family for Everyday Disasters and Worst-Case Scenarios
Lisa Bedford
Dedicated to the three most important people in my life, Stephen, Olivia, and Andrew.
And thanks, Dad, for always believing I had a book inside me, just waiting to be written.
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1. Wandering down Main Street in Disneyland, you find yourself thinking:
a. The castle is so pretty. I think Im going to cry!
b. Weve got sunblock, water bottles, and a packed lunch. Were going to have a great day.
c. I wonder which kid is going to hit the wall first.
d. Who is that duck approaching my kid, and WHERE ARE HIS PANTS???
e. I wouldnt be caught dead at Disneyland. Its a prime terrorist target.
2. When the electricity goes out, the first thing you do is:
a. Call your husband.
b. Scramble through drawers looking for flashlights and batteries.
c. Calm the kids, grab your Powers Out Emergency Kit, and begin following the directions on a laminated checklist.
d. Shut the blinds; fill the bathtubs with water; lock and load.
e. Head for the bunker. That EMP youve been expecting may have just happened.
3. You notice that your local Walmart is offering an Introduction to Handguns class for women. You immediately think:
a. What is this world coming to? Someone is going to get an eye shot out.
b. I should maybe, probably, learn how to shoot a gun someday.
c. Thats a class I need to take.
d. Im glad they finally got my class scheduled. I wonder how many students Ill have this time around.
e. Id sign up in a heartbeat if it were Tactical Urban Sniper Training.
4. Your idea of food storage is:
a. An extra box of Fruit Loops in the cupboard.
b. Something only Mormons do.
c. Having at least a months worth of extra food stashed away. You never know when it might come in handy.
d. Buckets and barrels, filled with only God knows what because you forgot to label them back in Y2K.
e. Loading up the bunker with beans, bullets, and Band-Aids.
5. Online, youre known as:
a. CuddleBunny209
b. Momof2CuteKids
c. OneSmartMama
d. WarriorWoman4God
e. LiveFreeOrDie8720
6. You wish your parents had named you:
a. After your grandmother
b. Hillary
c. Something that sounds more presidential
d. Sarah Connor
e. Anything gender neutral
How to Score Your Responses:
Mostly as: | Its time to put on some big-girl panties and take off the rose-colored glasses if youre going to be a Survival Mom. |
Mostly bs: | Your Survival Mom DNA is starting to show! |
Mostly cs: | You sound like a sane Survival Mom to me, but then, those would have been my answers, too. |
Mostly ds: | Are you off your meds again? Seriously. Chill out and listen to some Barry Manilow. |
Mostly es: | People think youre crazy, but its all part of the plan. |
M y transformation from suburban mom to Survival Mom has taken a lifetime. Maybe it began in junior high with my A+ in a desert survival class or with the tales of true survival I read each month in my Nanas copies of Readers Digest. Whenever or wherever the seed was planted, it dug itself into my consciousness and grew deep roots.
By the time I was married and the mother of a toddler, Y2K rolled around. A part of my brain said, This is much ado about nothing. Y2K+1 will be no more significant than any other day. But something deeper and more primitive spoke up and said, Im a mom now. Its my job, my sworn duty, to protect my family. So, I stocked up on toilet paper.
I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.
EARTHA KITT
My focus on the basics of survival never disappeared. I began storing blankets beneath the backseat of our Tahoe, and at least one case of water bottles was always stowed in the trunk. My husband began to tease me about my favorite sentence starter, Just in case
Really, survival should be the last thing on my mind. I was hardly born to a homesteading or survivalist family. Rather, at an early age my mother taught me the technique of calculating percentage discounts in my head on our frequent trips to the mall.
Last summer when we were hiking at Lake Tahoe on a paved, wheelchair-accessible path (my favorite kind), I noticed that my mother was sporting a brightly colored sequined fanny pack. I was impressed. I knew she read my blog daily and figured that she had paid close attention to my lists of emergency must-haves. If I needed insect repellant or an energy bar, shed have it. Right? Wrong. Halfway through the hike, she sat on a rock, opened the fancy fanny pack, and pulled out twelve, a dozen, different lip glosses. That is my survival heritage!
What spurred me into the foreign world of food storage, firearms, and preparedness as a lifestyle was the downturn of the American economy. If my friends could lose jobs and homes, so could we. If nothing else, Im a realist. Every dormant survival instinct in my body awoke, and I knew that this time was no dress rehearsal as Y2K had been. I felt a sense of urgency, as though an F5 tornado was storming toward my house and I only had the briefest of time to prepare. My familys survival and our future well-being were, in large part, in my two French-manicured hands.
At this point, my background as a manic researcher came in handy, and I devoted every spare minute to learning about food dehydration, oxygen absorbers, comparative rifle calibers, and an NRA membership. In no time I could cite the advantages of a gravity-fed well and had Bug Out Bags packed for each member of the family. I was dead serious about being prepared.