Bayliss - En Pointe

Have you ever wanted something so much that you cant imagine your life without it?

Chloe Bayliss was born to perform, and after years of hard work and
determination shes on her way to becoming a ballerina. At sixteen, she gets accepted into an international dance school and her dream is about to come true.

Then overnight, a mystery illness takes Chloe from performing in Swan Lake to clinging to life in a hospital bed.

Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined the hurdles she would face
but also how she would eventually triumph. Against all odds, Chloe finds a whole new way to flourish.

En Pointe is the real-life story of how an aspiring ballerina became an inspiring young actor after overcoming a life-threatening illness.

Miracles really can happen, even if theyre not the ones you asked for.

En Pointe

CHLOE BAYLISS

Table of contents

To those who have almost given up hope,
this is for you.
Keep fighting, you good things.
Sometimes miracles really can happen.

Introduction

Ive been on the stage since I was three years old. Three! Insane when you think about it, but thats when my addiction to dance and performing started.

When I was fourteen and a half, I left my family home in Port Macquarie to go and train at a full-time dance school. Thinking about it now, I cant believe how confident and certain I was that it would be fine to leave my family and friends behind. I was a girl on a mission, thats for sure. Even today, I cant comprehend how I had the knowledge and maturity to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life, let alone to live away from home, taking on the enormous demands both physically and mentally that come when youre part of the dance world. But I knew that furthering my training was my only option if I wanted a career in dance, and in my mind, there was no doubt I could do it. Then, at seventeen, my dream was stopped in its tracks and my life was turned upside down.

Ive put a lot of thought into whether or not I should reveal my past. The idea of writing a book and having my most personal information out there for all the world to read terrified me. And once its out there, its out there forever! So I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as something I might do in the future. But after a visit to my home town of Port Macquarie in December 2017, that fear turned into a driveI had to write this book. I went back home as an adult to judge and teach scholarship classes at the dance school where Id trained from the age of three, and I had a moment, you might say. This town had given me so much joy as a child, and something about it brought back so many wonderful memories that it was almost too overwhelming for me to be there. A wave of emotion came over me as I remembered a time when I had been one hundred per cent happy. I was a young girl with big dreams, goals and aspirations, ready to take on the world. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what was to become of my life and the extreme hurdles I would face. All those hurdles flooded my mind and I literally woke up in the middle of the night with an urge to write about them. So I did. Straight away.

When I was seventeen and my world came crashing down, journalling helped me deal with my emotions. I had always kept a logbook of sorts, and when I started doing research for this book, I came across old journals, letters, cards and speeches that I had kept from that time. All those journal entries have been reproduced and reworked in these pages to show the emotional rollercoaster of contracting a serious, life-threatening illness and how I managed to navigate through those tough times while still pursuing my dreams.

Now, at twenty-eight years of age, dance is still very much a part of my life. But for the past eight years I have found another creative passion that has fuelled my desire to tell stories: acting. Ive been so fortunate to have a career that has enabled me to share my love of storytelling through different art forms such as dance, TV, theatre and film. But during this acting journey, I was incredibly scared to reveal my medical history out of fear that people would see me as my past and not well just me. I wanted to prove myself as an artist without my personal life influencing the way audiences saw the characters I played. But after much thought, I came to the conclusion that if revealing my past might help even one person going through a tough time, then thats what I had to do.

I didnt have anyone to relate to when my life turned upside down, so hopefully you can take something away from this book. Perhaps youre in a similar situation and in these pages you hear a familiar story, or perhaps you just need a little encouragement to go after your dreams. Whatever it is, I hope this book gives you the inspiration you need to never give up. Today, I am recovered and have gone on to have a wonderful and interesting career. I hope you enjoy reading about the wild journey that brought me here.

CHAPTER ONE

The budding ballerina

OCTOBER 2003

Have you ever had an addiction? An obsession? Have you ever wanted something so much that you cant imagine your life without it? For me, thats dance.

From the moment I first stepped on to the stage when I was three years old, I loved it. And at twelve years old, I live for that adrenalin rush from nerves and excitement right before you step out into the unknown. The bright lights that shine down on you, making you feel like theres magic in the air. The music that ripples through every inch of your body. I love how I can make an audience feel things theyve never felt before. The silence that covers the whole room as the audience becomes one with you. The costumes, the make-up, the playing pretend. I love it all. But most of all, I love escaping into another reality that isnt my own. Somehow, stepping into the skin of all those different characters makes me feel far more important than myself.

* * *

Standing backstage, I hear the audience gathering in the hall. Their laughing and chattering quickly diminishes as the house lights go down. My stomach begins to quiver and bounce around with nerves, as though a hundred butterflies are trying to escape. Its almost time.

The stage manager standing next to me announces the first competitor, who disappears through the thick black curtains and on to the stage. Oh god. Ive got exactly three minutes before Im up.

I pop my hip out to the side and use my bum as a punching bag to loosen up the muscle in an attempt to gain some last-minute flexibility. My hands drop to my ankles, and I allow my body to ragdoll between my legs, careful not to hit my gold tiara on the floor. My red-and-black Spanish-inspired tutu tilts forward as I try to look at the ceiling through my legs. I snap back up and start bouncing from side to side like Im in a boxing ring to get the blood flowing through my body and fight off those nerves. After cracking and stretching the muscles in my neck, I split my legs into a turned-out squat, cracking my back and stretching my inner thighs. My tiara is cemented in place atop my slicked-back hair and I shake my head vigorously up and down and side to side to make absolutely certain its secure. It doesnt feel like its going to go flying off into the audience, so alls good in that department. I hope.

My routine plays on repeat in my head as I pace up and down. Its always in this moment, right before Im about to go onstage, that the anxiety creeps in and I start to second-guess the steps Ive practised all year. Ive rehearsed a thousand times but I cant remember which leg I start on. I think its the right one.