Jessica Smartt - Let Them Be Kids: Adventure, Boredom, Innocence, and Other Gifts Children Need

2020 Jessica Smartt

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Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by W Publishing Group, an imprint of Thomas Nelson.

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Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Epub Edition April 2020 9780785221319

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Smartt, Jessica, author.

Title: Let them be kids : adventure, boredom, innocence, and other gifts children need / Jessica Smartt.

Description: [Nashville, Tennessee] : [W Publishing Group], [2020] | Summary: Practical ideas and encouragement for moms who want to raise kids that honor their family values, make good decisions, pursue life creatively, and live with a deeply rooted faithProvided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020006602 (print) | LCCN 2020006603 (ebook) | ISBN 9780785221272 (paperback) | ISBN 9780785221319 ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Child rearing. | Parent and child. | Families.

Classification: LCC HQ769 .S5644 2020 (print) | LCC HQ769 (ebook) | DDC 649/.1dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020006602

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020006603

Printed in the United States of America

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Dad,

Ever since I can remember, youve brightened the
room with your eternal optimism and passion
for life. You are the worlds best dad, a faithful
encourager, and an amazing Grampy.

Mom,

Home has always been where you are.
Thank you for bearing my many worries
and constantly pointing me to Jesus.

CONTENTS

We believe in childhood, in letting kids be little and awkward and snuggly and free. We believe in family, that we always have one another and that wherever we are is home. We believe in adventure and that the Good Life is more thrilling, more satisfying, more sidesplitting fun than the cheap imitations. We believe in imaginationin great books on rainy days, in long car trips with goofy entertainmentand that the good stuff happens after you set down your phone. We believe in blowing bubbles, building forts, chasing fireflies, and playing dress-up. We believe that boredom is often the beginning of something wonderful. We think puzzles, board games, hard work, and opening the door for someone should never go out of style. We believe being kind matters more than being cool, and developing character is more than winning. We know that innocence and purity are still worth fighting for. We believe in Im sorry and Ill always love you. Its not an easy thing to build a childhood. But in the long run? Its worth itfor all of us.

W hen I was eleven years old, ten of us cousins reunited for a glorious week at Uncle Joes lake house. The first afternoon we meandered unsupervised out to the dock to dip our toes in the water, when we noticed something magnificent. Off to one side was a giant piece of wood that had washed up on the rocky beach. It was hugebigger than we were. The possibilities sprawled out before us like a game of Pick Up Sticks on the carpet, with the most obvious being that we had just discovered a ship. We didnt bother to get approval from the grown-ups (who I now realize were inside drinking their coffee and watching with amusement). Instead, we got busy preparing to launch our new boat.

First, we had to assemble provisions. We snuck a sleeve of saltine crackers and a few snack-sized boxes of raisins out of the pantry, along with juice boxes. We also needed oars. This was harder than we thought, because we had to get the right kind of sticks that were strong enough to do the job but not so big that we would hit the oarsmen behind us.

Then it got sticky because we had to choose the passengers. This meant sorting the big kids from the little kids, and there were always those few in the middle who were questionable. I dont remember where the line was drawn, but I do remember that it ended in a fight and someone accidentally getting drenched in lake water. Last of all, our noble vessel needed a name. Only one was suggested; we agreed unanimously. The Majestic. She was beautiful, after all.

That was twenty-seven years ago.

When I look back at this glorious memory, it captures so many things that are wonderful about childhood: things such as freedom, risk, imagination, adventure, creativity, nature, friendship, and innocence. Was it dangerous to set sail on uncharted waters aboard discarded, rotting, and barely attached two-by-fours? You bet it was. That made it even better.

Likely you have your own similar-sounding childhood adventure. The thing is, the bits and pieces that make up a childhood are more than stories; they form character. Once a human being arrives at adulthood, many core values and traits are statistically unlikely to change in later life. Of course, change is always possible. But here are a few things that tend to be fixed after arriving at adulthood:

Character traits, such as patience, kindness, integrity, self-discipline, and the ability to follow rules

Habits, such as work ethic, technology use or misuse, and time management

Skills and abilities, such as intellectual curiosity, proficiency in music or foreign languages, reading aptitude, and the ability to communicate well in written or spoken word

Presence of faith / view of God

Sexual health, in the sense that habits and choices have already been made to affect ones lifelong sexual behavior and happiness

Attachment to others / ability to have healthy relationships

Again, change is absolutely possible; there are wonderfully inspirational stories of people who, in their thirties through their eighties, are reframing their personal narratives and growing in profound ways. But these people will likely tell you that the change was not without tremendous exertion. Its hard to overcome a difficult childhood. A healthy childhood, on the contrary, is a balm and a gift. Read over the list again. Character, good habits, faith, relational healthchildhood is the box these gifts come in. These are the things we wish for the children we love.

Its not just a cute or trendy idea to save childhood. When we gift our kids childhood (the space and nurture to grow in a healthy way), we are in fact changing history. We are helping to develop human beings who are brave and self-sacrificing and have integrity, who appreciate and care for the earth, who defend the rights of the weak, who have been loved and are able to love, whove developed the intellectual focus to forge new territories in medicine and engineering and politics, who have soaked up the good old books and written some new ones, and who can lead countries and companies and families.