Green - Joey Greens kitchen magic: 1,882 quick cooking tricks, cleaning hints, and kitchen remedies using your favorite brand-name products

Hellbent on Insanity

The Gilligans Island Handbook

The Get Smart Handbook

The Partridge Family Album

Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose

Hi Bob!

Selling Out

Paint Your House with Powdered Milk

Wash Your Hair with Whipped Cream

The Bubble Wrap Book

Joey Greens Encyclopedia of Offbeat Uses for Brand-Name Products

The Zen of Oz

The Warning Label Book

Monica Speaks

The Official Slinky Book

You Know Youve Reached Middle Age If

The Mad Scientist Handbook

Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz

The Road to Success Is Paved with Failure

Clean It! Fix It! Eat It!

Joey Greens Magic Brands

The Mad Scientist Handbook 2

Senior Moments

Jesus and Moses: The Parallel Sayings

Joey Greens Amazing Kitchen Cures

Jesus and Muhammad: The Parallel Sayings

Joey Greens Gardening Magic

How They Met

Joey Greens Incredible Country Store

Potato Radio, Dizzy Dice

Joey Greens Supermarket Spa

Weird Christmas

Contrary to Popular Belief

Marx & Lennon: The Parallel Sayings

Joey Greens Rainy Day Magic

The Jolly President

Champagne and Caviar Again?

Joey Greens Mealtime Magic

The Bathroom Professor: Philosophy on the Go

Famous Failures

Lunacy: The Best of the Cornell Lunatic

Joey Greens Fix-It Magic

Too Old for MySpace, Too Young for Medicare

You Know You Need a Vacation If

Sarah Palins Secret Diary

Joey Greens Cleaning Magic

Joey Greens Amazing Pet Cures

Dumb History

For Michael and Audrey

Cooking is an art, but like any art, there are amazingly simple tricks of the trade, clever shortcuts, and ingenious secrets that can turn cooking from a humdrum chore into an invigorating and riveting adventure. You can make beef melt in your mouth by marinating the meat in Coca-Cola. You can save burned gravy with a tablespoon of Jif Peanut Butter. You can substitute Motts Applesauce for butter when baking a cake. You can give spaghetti sauce a zesty flavor by adding Maxwell House Coffee. If you dont have any buttermilk for a recipe, you can substitute the same amount of Dannon Plain Nonfat Yogurt. Over the years, Ive discovered literally hundreds and hundreds of astonishing cooking tips using everyday brand-name products sitting in your pantry right now. These simple yet inventive tips not only save time and money in the kitchen, but they also make you feel like an ingenious mad scientist and a master chef all rolled into one.

Why slave away over a hot stove when you can be cooking up fun in your kitchen? With this book, youll discover how to revive hardened brown sugar with a slice of Wonder Bread, how to slice cake with Oral-B Dental Floss, and how to make light and fluffy pancakes with Canada Dry Club Soda. Youll learn how to enrich potato salad with Frenchs Mustard, bread chicken croquettes with Lays Potato Chips, and marinate fish with Wish-Bone Robusto Italian Dressing. Youll find out how to prevent pasta from boiling over with Pam Cooking Spray, prolong the life of lettuce with Bounty Paper Towels, and stop pastry dough from sticking with Kingsfords Corn Starch. Ill share secret tips on how to shop for the freshest fruits and vegetables, like how to choose apples and pick the best asparagus. Youll learn the tricks to storing spices and pasta in the pantry so they stay fresh. Ill teach you how to keep appliances running smoothly by defrosting a jammed ice maker with a Conair Hair Dryer or deodorizing your microwave oven with McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract. And Ill explain how to get your dishes sparkling clean with Heinz White Vinegar and remove stubborn stains from cookware with Efferdent. Ive also included some astonishing kitchen remedies (like how to soothe burns with Frenchs Mustard and soothe tired feet with Cool Whip) and quick, easy recipes (like Classic Meatloaf, Glazed Walnuts, and Candied Fruit Peels) that you can whip up in a snap.

How did I come up with all these magical ways to use ordinary products in the kitchen? I contacted dozens of companies to get their secret files, I waded through thousands of cooking tips, I experimented with scores of brand-name products we all know and love, I spoke with numerous chefs and homemakers, I locked myself in the library for days at a time, I slaved over a hot stove, and I sifted through all the e-mails sent to me through my Web site by ingenious cooks sharing their innovative uses for brand-name products. I mastered the best way to cook rice. I learned the trick to hard-boiling an egg without cracking the shell. And I finally figured out how to cut onions without shedding any tears.

With this book, I share all these secrets so you can use everyday productslike Leggs Sheer Energy Panty Hose, Jell-O, Heinz Ketchup, and Quaker Oatsin ways you never imagined to cook up a storm and make the kitchen your favorite room in the house.

• Domino Sugar Cubes and Ziploc Storage Bags. To prevent mold from forming on a block of cheese, place the cheese and a few Domino Sugar Cubes in a Ziploc Storage Bag, seal the bag partially shut, suck out the excess air from the bag, and seal tightly. The sugar cubes attract the mold spores away from the cheese. Change the sugar cubes every few days.
• Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar. To prevent a chunk of cheese from getting moldy, dampen a soft, clean piece of cheesecloth with Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar, wrap it around the block of cheese, seal it in a Ziploc Storage Bag or airtight container, and refrigerate. The acetic acid in the vinegar helps prevent the growth of mold without affecting the flavor of the cheese. Refresh the cheesecloth with more vinegar when necessary.
• Morton Salt. To prevent cheese from molding in the refrigerator, dissolve two tablespoons Morton Salt in three cups of water, dampen a cloth with the salt water, and wrap the block of cheese in the damp cloth before refrigerating.