Shaw - Having children after cancer: how to make informed choices before and after treatment and build the family of your dreams

THIS BOOK IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED to two women who made it possible and who should have lived to see it published.

To the extraordinary Jeanne Petrek, MD, my breast surgeon at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York. She turned my cancer journey around from a train wreck to a narrative of survival, gave me confidence that I would survive and thrive, and helped make it possible for us to adopt our daughter.

Most important, to my mother, Dorothy Shaw. She taught me everything I needed to know in lifemost especially, how to love and how to be a mother. Whenever I face a parenting challenge, I try to think WWMDWhat Would Mom Do? I wish she could be here to see this book, but even more, to be the grandma she always wanted to be. I miss her every day. I love you, Mom.

I also dedicate this book to my amazing husband, Evan, and my three incredible kids, Annika, Adrian, and Katia. Im so happy to wake up to you all (even in the predawn hours) every day.

INTRODUCTION
Having Children After Cancer: The Joy and the Worry

THIS BOOK WOULD NOT HAVE been possible without the generous insights and expertise of the medical professionals, social workers, and other experts who took the time to share their experience with me. I am grateful to all the specialists interviewed for this book, especially the extraordinary staff at the Oncofertility Consortium at Northwestern Universitys Feinberg School of Medicine, who allowed me to spend time with them learning more about their groundbreaking work. Special thanks are also due to Lindsay Nohr Beck of Fertile Hope, who not only shared her own story but provided unique insights on the field of cancer, fertility, pregnancy, and parenting.

But even more than the professionals and experts, I owe thanks to the many families who took time to share their personal stories with me. Every familys journey through cancer to parenthood is a different one, yet in so many ways they are at heart the same: people who have fought one battle, to survive, and then had to wage yet another, to become parentstwo things that most people take for granted. I cant thank you all enough for being willing to reach out to other families like yours through this book.

Special thanks are also due to my heroic husband, Evan, and three amazing kids, Annika, Adrian, and Katia; to my dad, Ronald Shaw, whos always believed in me; to Annikas extraordinary birth mom, Kim, who gave us the joy of becoming parents for the first time; to my wonderful agent, Maria Massie of Lippincott Massie McQuilkin; and to the great cadre of friends whove cheered me on for the past several years as I worked to make the dream of this book a realityespecially Mark Rotella, who made that first connection!

I FACED THE YOUNG WOMAN sitting in my office and discussed treatment options for her early-stage breast cancer, treatment necessary to give her the best chance of preventing recurrence. She faced the news of the recommendation for chemotherapy bravely. We then talked about the side effects of treatment, including the fact that her fertility could be adversely affected. She was incredulous that the treatment given to save her life could also change it so irrevocably, and was relieved to know that back-up plans were possible. We planned for her to meet with our fertility expert that same day, to learn about options for freezing eggs or embryos. Just having options and retaining some control over her future allowed this woman to move forward with treatment and all its challenges with a lifted spirit.

I am delighted to write the foreword to this groundbreaking book, Having Children After Cancer. As a breast cancer oncologist at the University of California San Franciscos Comprehensive Cancer Center, I face this issue with my patients on a regular basis. Unfortunately, for young women and men facing a diagnosis of cancer, the issue of future fertility is often not addressed or even considered when discussing treatment options. The overwhelming anxiety of the cancer diagnosis eclipses other considerations for patients, and physicians have focused on the immediacy of cancer therapy rather than the ability to have children later in life. For some patients, the concern about losing fertility may adversely impact decisions about treatment, potentially leading young adults to choose less-than-ideal therapies. In this book, Gina Shaw presents a detailed and thoughtful guide to a variety of approaches for preserving future fertility for both women and men, as well as a detailed list of options for becoming parents when having a biological child is not possible.