Carr - Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips

The health information expressed in this book is based solely on the personal experience of the author and is not intended as a medical manual. The information should not be used for diagnosis or treatment, or as a substitute for professional medical care. The author and publisher urge you to consult with your health care provider prior to attempting any treatment on yourself or another individual.

skirt! is an attitude spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.

Copyright 2007 by Kris Carr

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in writing by the publisher. Requests for permission should be sent to skirt!, Attn: Rights and Permissions Department, P.O. Box 480, Guilford, Connecticut 06437.

skirt! is a registered trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC, and is used with express permission.

Contribution from Oni Faida Lampley on pages 12021 originally published in Self magazine, in an article titled, No More Shame.

Due to limitations of space, photo credits appear on pages 2023 and constitute an extension of this page.

Design by Karla Baker www.typekarla.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Carr, Kris.

Crazy sexy cancer tips / Kris Carr ; foreword by Sheryl Crow.

p. cm.

ISBN: 978-0-7627-9615-1

1. Cancer in women. I. Title.

RC281.W65C374 2007

616.9940082dc22

2007007701

{ dedication }

To my mom, Aura Carr, she taught me how to be a survivor long before cancer.

Hi, Doug. How are you? Me? Not so great. You know how Im always calling you to ask you for referrals for newly diagnosed friends? Well this time its me.

I will never forget the afternoon I received the news I had cancer. The three calls I made first were to my parents, my ex (who happens to be a very well-known cancer survivor), and Doug Ulman, the president of the Lance Armstrong Foundation and a dear friend.

My routine mammogram showed micro-calcifications, not unusual for someone my age. It was my ob-gyn who called and said there was no point waiting for six months to check on them, and that a biopsy in both breasts would be wise. Its possible she saved me from having more radical treatment, simply because I didnt wait and instead was diagnosed very early.

Anyone who has ever been diagnosed with a disease will tell you that time stands still in that moment. In fact, it backs up and runs over you on its way past. I barely remember hearing the words Its cancer, but the tears in my docs eyes are an everlasting image in my mind.

I called my parents on the way home. My parents are my best friends and have always been there on every level for me. And, in their usual fashion, they calmly alerted my siblings and promptly flew to Los Angeles to be with me. Right behind them were my sisters and my longtime manager, and later, my brother and his family.

Our initiation into Cancer College took place in what felt like a boardroom, with my family and my manager and my oncologist sitting at a very long table looking at visuals of breast ducts, drawings of cells gone wacko, and lots of medical statistics. (I can safely say that my dad is a breast expert now and not by choice.) We learned more about cancer in two hours than I learned about anything in four years of college. The doctor told us that there are many different kinds of cancer and that because mine wasnt in my lymph nodes, I would get off relatively easy. However, the bottom line is, even though the cancer may go away, knowing that you had cancer doesnt. The fear of it coming back doesnt go away, either.

It has been a fascinating journey for me. I have been embraced by an amazing community of women who are survivors or who have lost loved ones to cancer. Women generous in sharing their personal stories. Courageous women who still manage to find humor in even the toughest of circumstances. But the one testimony I believe I heard the most was the correlation of breast cancer to nourishment. My whole life, I have felt like a self-sufficient person, a make-shit-happen kind of gal. Totally fit, healthy eater, meditator for years, thats me. Being diagnosed with cancer really opened my eyes to the fact that anyone can have it and that even though we think we have control over everything in our lives, we dont.

What I was forced to learn, like so many other women Ive spoken with, was to put myself first. To really honor myself by saying no to things I dont want to do. This is a very new exercise for me. I have always been a pleaser of the most committed kind. The idea that the breast is very symbolic of nurturing and of nourishment resonates heavily with me because I, like so many other women, have mastered putting everyone elses needs before my own.

For me, the mere act of letting people take care of me was a challenge. It felt completely foreign. The first week of radiation, my mother made eight different kinds of organic soup. My dad got up at the crack of dawn to feed my dogs, make the coffee, pick up the paper. My family took weeklong shifts to take care of meor just be there. The mere switch to not planning activities, not preparing meals, actually taking naps or just resting, required complete restraint.

Every day since that time, I have reminded myself of what I took from the experience. Things I dont ever want to forget. I look at my breast cancer tattoos and am reminded of the expansion that was created in my life because of what I went through and of who Ive become, and I am grateful.

There are no real handbooks on what to do first when you get your diagnosis. No one can tell you how the experience is going to go. In my case, I knew I was not going to die, but I also knew, early on, that my life would never feel or look the same.

I remember my radiologist saying to me, Your mission now is to ask yourself every day, Am I doing what I want to be doing? And I do ask myself that, every day. I try to make the answer yes, even if it requires saying the word no and disappointing someone.

My experience was about letting go. It was about really experiencing all that was happening at the deepest emotional level, for that is where the big life changes occur. That is where you meet yourself. Where you begin remembering who you are and who you were meant to be. I dont believe you have to be diagnosed to come to these lessons, but sometimes the catastrophic moments in life force you to focus in on the immediate.

I love Kriss book because it made me feel so many things. Familiar things. It made me laugh and reflect. And thank God, she is one of those women who has the courage and generosity to share her experience. Lets face it, life is a constant challenge. Its full of unexpected detours that no one but you can navigate. This book will be a comfort to so many who are going through the experience or who have graduated to survivor.