P RAISE FOR
Soulful Simplicity
Courtney Carvers new book Soulful Simplicity is a practical road map for embracing the beauty of less and making room in our lives for what matters most.
A LI E DWARDS , Craft the Story
In a world where so much of the messaging around radical simplicity is just about living with less stuff, Soulful Simplicity prescribes a lifestyle filled with a lot more of one thing: love. What our heart needs is a huge part of the equation, and Courtney teaches us how to make sure were listening to it.
C AIT F LANDERS , author of The Year of Less
A gentle, compassionate guide to making more space in your home, more time in your day, and more love in your heart. Courtneys personal story provides powerful inspiration to live a simpler, more intentional life.
F RANCINE J AY , missminimalist.com
Courtney Carver understands that simplifying involves more than declutteringits about habits, appreciation, discipline, and love.
J OSHUA F IELDS M ILLBURN , theminimalists.com
Courtney Carvers book is vulnerable and helpful. Courtney shows us that living simply goes beyond decluttering your closets and junk drawers. She gently illustrates that simplicity is the way back to connection, peace, good health, and love.
T AMMY S TROBEL, RowdyKittens.com
Soulful Simplicity is the kind of book you keep on your kitchen table so you can dip in when you have five minutes to yourself. I love how Courtney inspires the reader with her own story and then holds your hand through the process of making real changethe kind of changes you want to make. There are so many gems in this book!
S USANNAH C ONWAY , author of This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart
With humility, honesty, and authenticity, Courtney Carver invites each of us to find greater simplicity in lifeand provides a practical road map for us to find it in our own unique way.
J OSHUA B ECKER, founder of Becoming Minimalist and author of The More of Less
Soulful Simplicity encourages conscious minimalism from the inside out. Its a heartfelt yet practical guide for making life simple again. Courtneys story is relatable in so many waysshe lets you walk in her shoes so you can see the mental and physical steps she took to escape a stressful life that literally almost killed her. This book has made me laugh, smile, and take action toward living a life uncluttered by most of the needless things people fill their lives with, leaving me with space for what truly matters. A life that isnt constant busyness, rushing, and stress, but instead contemplation, creation, and connection with people and projects I love.
A NGEL C HERNOFF, author and coach, Marc and Angel Hack Life
If organizing your stuff worked, youd be organized by now. Get this book for its strategic hows and even more powerful whys.
D EREK S IVERS, sivers.org
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Copyright 2017 by Courtney Carver
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Ebook ISBN: 9781524704513
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Carver, Courtney, author.
Title: Soulful simplicity: how living with less can lead to so much more / by Courtney Carver.
Description: New York, New York: Tarcherperigee, [2017] | A Tarcherperigee Book.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017024024 | ISBN 9780143130680
Subjects: LCSH: Simplicity.
Classification: LCC BJ1496 .C39 2017 | DDC 179/.9dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017024024
Cover design: Jess Morphew
Cover image: Daiquiri / Shutterstock
Version_1
FOR BAILEY AND MARK
You gave me space to breathe, time to heal, and love, so much love.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
Wanting More
A ll of the things I thought were true about my life changed during one phone call that lasted less than five minutes. When I picked up the phone in my cubicle at work and heard You have MS, the only thing I could think was This cant be true. I never thought Id be diagnosed with an incurable disease that threatened my health, my active lifestyle, my family, and my work. I never thought Id get a wake-up call I couldnt ignore. Then again, I never considered the possibility of being debt-free, clutter-free, mostly stress-free, or doing work that gives my life enormous purpose either.
Back to the wake-up call for a moment. Whoever hands out wake-up calls must have known they would have to deliver a big one to get my attention. The whispers and gentle nudges hadnt worked, but multiple sclerosis? Now I was listening. I hadnt been listening for a long time, not to my body, my heart, or my soul. Instead, I was just reacting. I was reacting to everything thrown my way, and going through the motions simply to keep up with lifes demands, and to honor the vow I had made almost a decade before to always give my daughter more.
The Breakup
I was married to someone who didnt love me, who couldnt love me... for seven years. Some of the worst things that have ever happened to me happened in that marriage, but some of the very best things too. For instance, were it not for my first marriage, my daughter, the person who means more to me than anyone, wouldnt be a part of my life. Another benefit of my first marriage is that after being in it, I was so sure about what I did not want in my life anymore. I didnt want to be sad, scared, or worried all the time. I wasnt exactly sure what I did want, but I knew it was more than that.
There were the negatives too: the mean words, the alcoholism, the distrust, and the feeling of immense failure. The verbal assaults, constant drinking, lying, and overspending were bad, but it was the complete disregard for my heart that in the end was the end. On the day my daughter was born, I was changing her first diaper, hours after an emergency C-section, and I realized I couldnt reach a new diaper without leaving her side. I asked my husband to help, and his response was something like Jesus, get it together. You need to know how to do this when Im not around. As he rolled his eyes, I thought to myself, Oh, I will. In that moment, I silently vowed to give my daughter more one day.
There were more conversations that broke my heart right up until our last. After he moved out, I thought we could begin to heal. I wanted him to have a relationship with our daughter, but after picking her up from a visit and seeing beer cans roll out from under the drivers seat of his car, I sought supervised visits. The courts denied my request and said he had a right to defend himself. The last time I saw him he said, I wish you would die so I could raise her on my own. I could smell the beer on his breath and see the disgust in his eyes. I didnt care what the courts said anymore. He had never physically hurt me before, but I was done taking chances. I had to protect my daughter, my heart, and my life.