Harris Gail - Finding Zoe: a deaf womans story of identity, love, and adoption

PRAISE FOR

Finding Zoe

Finding Zoe is a heartwarming story about identity, self-acceptance, and love. Brandi shares her deeply personal experience of coming of age during her years at Rochester Institute of Technologys National Technical Institute for the Deaf. College is a transformative experience for most young people, but attending RIT/NTID after growing up as Brandi and I did, in hearing families and mainstream schools, is truly life-altering. Brandi beautifully captures the joy of finally fitting in, feeling at home, and finding yourself.

Dr. Gerard J. Buckley, President of National Technical Institute for the Deaf

Motherhoodhowever it is achievedis a beautiful thing. The journey in Finding Zoe is captivating and inspirational, and above all, a story about doing what is right for our children, as well as ourselves, no matter how difficult... and then seeing all of the pieces fall miraculously into place. Finding Zoe is a joy to watch unfold.

Jill Smokler, New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

A must-read for any adoptive parent, or anyone considering adoption. Brandi Raruss story of Finding Zoe is an amazing reminder that the power of love overcomes lifes most challenging obstacles and nothing can stand in the way of whats meant to be.

Mary Donahue, Senior Vice President of Non-Fiction at Lifetime Television Network, and adoptive parent

Just as my character on Switched at Birth has helped to expose the Deaf community for what it really is to our mainstream TV audience, so too does Finding Zoe break down the barriers between the hearing and Deaf communities by showing Deaf Culture in ways never seen before... deaf people and deaf families with identity issues and conflicts universal in scope... seeking the love that all of us need... and the compelling lessons learned by being human. Bravo to Finding Zoe.

Sean Berdy, actor on the ABC TV hit series, Switched at Birth, and Peabody Award Recipient

Finding Zoe shines an unbiased light on teen pregnancy, adoption, and the sacrifice parents make to find the best home for their children. A must-read for teenagers and their parents, or for anyone else who may be contemplating their choices for an unintended pregnancy.

Jan and Bob Charnecki, founders of Options Pregnancy Center

A work of both heart and mind, driven by the authors passions to describe our rich history as deaf people, that paved the way for deaf children like Zoe... a book that both deaf and hearing people have longed for.

Greg Hlibok, student leader of the Deaf President Now protest at Gallaudet University

This isnt just a book for people interested in adoption; its an inspiring story that will touch the heart of anyone with a connection to children and familieswhich is to say, almost everyone.

Adam Pertman, Executive Director of Donaldson Adoption Institute, and author of Adoption Nation

This really hits home... The story of a deaf baby who finds her way to a deaf family... and embraces her culture and language. A great introduction to the Deaf community.

Chris Wagner, President of National Association of the Deaf

Finding

Zoe

A DEAF WOMANS STORY
OF IDENTITY, LOVE,
AND ADOPTION

Finding

Zoe

Brandi Rarus

AND Gail Harris

BENBELLA BOOKS, INC.

DALLAS, TEXAS

Copyright 2014 Brandi Rarus and Gail Harris

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

BenBella Books, Inc.

10300 N. Central Expressway

Suite #530

Dallas, TX 75231

www.benbellabooks.com

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Second e-book edition: July 2015

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Rarus, Brandi.

Finding Zoe: a deaf womans story of identity, love, and adoption / by Brandi Rarus and Gail Harris.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-940363-22-6 (hardback)ISBN 978-1-940363-45-5 (electronic) 1. Rarus, Zoe. 2. Rarus, Brandi. 3. Deaf womenUnited StatesBiography. 4. Deaf childrenUnited States. 5. DeafnessUnited States. 6. AdoptionUnited States. I. Harris, Gail. II. Title.

HV2534.R37A3 2014

362.42092dc23

[B]

2014014707

Editing by Erin Kelley

Copyediting by Julie McNamee

Proofreading by Amy Zarkos and Cape Cod Compositors, Inc.

Cover design by Connie Gabbert

Text design by John Reinhardt Book Design

Text composition by Integra Software Services Pvt. Ltd.

Printed by Lake Book Manufacturing

Distributed by Perseus Distribution

perseusdistribution.com

To place orders through Perseus Distribution:

Tel: 800-343-4499

Fax: 800-351-5073

E-mail:

For Edgar Bloom

for your dedication to activism and paving the way for deaf people today

For Jess and BJ

for giving me the gift of Zoe

For my sons, Blake, Chase, and Austin, without whom my journey to Self would not be complete. I love you more than life itself.B. R.

For Bill and Lucas

Thank you for bringing yourselves to me every day.

For George Jaidar, my teacher

I live to see through your eyes.G. H.

CONTENTS

A LL CHILDREN COME into our lives for a reason. Some are born to us, some are the children of friends or family, and some are brought to us through miracles. Some miracles come easy; others are disguised by struggles and weighted with challenges and tough decisions. Finding Zoe is the story of remarkable connections that entwined four families and led one baby girl away from perceived limitations and into the home of the motherand familythat was meant to raise her.

I met Brandi Rarus for the first time when she became my understudy in the play Children of a Lesser God at the Immediate Theatre Company in Chicago. As teens, the two of us grew up in different suburbs of Chicago, but we shared the common experience of navigating our way through the mainstream at rival high schools. Midway through the plays run, I captured the part of Sarah Norman in the movie version of Children of a Lesser God, and, at the age of 21, I became the youngest recipient of an Academy Award.

My work has honored me with the privilege of worldwide travel, where I have met deaf and hard-of-hearing children from all walks of life. Like Brandi, I have always moved easily between the hearing and Deaf communities, but rather than seeing the separation between the two, I recognize that we all live in one worlda world in which our differences can be celebrated. I learned long ago to embrace who I am and what I believe in, and Brandi experiences a similar journey in Finding Zoe.

Since those early days, our lives have taken off in different directions, but our paths continue to cross at various events within our Deaf community. Like Brandi, Im a mother of four children, a role that has always kept me centered and grounded in the midst of a whirlwind acting career. I know without question that the love a mother has for her child is fierce and strong and that whether that child is biological or adopted, a mothers heart knows no boundaries. Zoe began her life with two extremely young parents, a first set of adoptive parents, and foster parents, and then found her way into the hearts of Brandis familywhere she belonged all along.