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First published in Penguin Books 2014
Copyright 2014 by Robert H. Rogers
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Leeds, Leeds, Leeds (Marching On Together)
Published by Barry Mason Music, administration by Copyright Administration Services Ltd.
Words and music by Barry Mason and Les Reed; copyright 1972 R.A.M. Music Ltd. and Barry Mason Music Ltd.; copyright renewed.
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All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Reprinted by permission of Hal Leonard Corporation
Photograph credits
: Courtesy of Theresa Rarick Rogers
: Courtesy of Robert H. Rogers Jr.
: Charlotte Observer / McClatchy-Tribune / Getty Images
: Jeff Gross / Getty images Sport
: Stephen Dunn / Getty Images Sport
: Drew Hallowell / Getty Images Sport
: Jamie Sabau / Getty Images Sport
: Tom Jenkins / Getty Images Sport
: Courtesy of the author
: Danielle Levitt / August
: Victor Decolongon / Getty Images Sport
: Jason Merritt / Getty Images Entertainment
: Carlos Serrao
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Rogers, Robbie.
Coming out to play / Robbie Rogers with Eric Marcus.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-698-16805-3
1. Rogers, Robbie. 2. Soccer playersUnited StatesBiography. 3. Gay athletesUnited StatesBiography. I. Marcus, Eric. II. Title.
GV942.7.R623A3 2014
796.334092dc23
[B]
Penguin is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the authors alone.
Version_1
For my family,
with so much love and appreciation
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Although this book is a very personal effort, it required the help of many great people to make it all possible. First and foremost I would like to thank my family, including my beloved mother, Theresa Rarick Rogers; my devoted father, Robert H. Rogers, Jr.; my dear sisters, Alicia, Nicole, and Katie; and my loyal little brother (and favorite childhood playmate), Tim, for their love and support, and for opening up and sharing their personal stories.
Many thanks to my editor at Penguin Books, Patrick Nolan; Maxwell Reid, Patricks assistant; and Steve Ross, my agent, for taking such good care of this project from beginning to end and for making everything run so smoothly. (Thank you, Max, for coordinating all the photographs!) Special thank-yous to Nick Misani, who designed the books beautiful cover, to Lavina Lee, my eagle-eyed production editor, and to Bronwen Pardes, for masterfully transcribing the many hours of recorded interviews despite the fact that I talk so fast its sometimes hard for my own family to understand me.
Debra Ware, Business and Community Liaison Director for the Leeds United Football Club in the UK, went above and beyond to welcome my coauthor to Leeds and provide an open door to Leeds United facilities and staff. I will also be forever indebted to Will Martin at the Just Grand! Vintage Tearoom in Leeds, for coming up with the perfect title, Coming Out to Play.
Finally, I am beyond grateful to Greg Berlanti, for inspiring me in so many ways. And, last, thank you to Eric Marcus, for being such an amazing cowriter and becoming such a good friend over the course of working together on this book.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Robbie Rogers. My sister Alicia calls me Robber, but only when shes being affectionate and wants to make me smile. Mom calls me Robbie or Dearheart and a lot of other embarrassing things. Grammers and Grandpa call me Obbie Ogers, not because they have a problem with their rs but because I used to and they still like to think of me as their little grandson even though I long ago made peace with the entire alphabet. Most everyone else calls me Robbie.
Until recently I was best known as a professional soccer player who dabbled in fashion. (I have a mens clothing line.) Ive played soccer in one form or another for twenty-two of my twenty-six years and during that time Ive done what Ive had to in order to fit in and excel in the game I love.
My fans know that I played for the Columbus Crew in Ohio for five seasons, was voted All-Star, and was named to the MLS Best XI, one of the biggest honors for a player in Major League Soccer, when we won the 2008 MLS Cup. They also know that I played for the U.S. Olympic soccer team in the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics (one of the highlights of my life), that I left the United States in 2012 to play football in England for Leeds United, and in May 2013 joined the LA Galaxy.
What Im best known for now is having blazed a trail, as NBA player Jason Collins said, when I returned to soccer after a very brief retirement and became the first openly gay male athlete to play in one of the top five team sports in North America.
Those are the bare outlines of my life. And while the various media have filled in some of the details since I came out publicly in February 2013, Ive been uncomfortable with the shorthand versions of my life that Ive seen and read. So in the pages that follow Ill tell you the story of my life behind the headlines, how I lived with a secret that just about destroyed me, how I came to free myself from that secret, and how, despite all my fears to the contrary, I found the kind of acceptance, support, and love that I never believed was possible.
My hope is that by reading the story of my life in greater depth you will learn something from my experience. While I wouldnt change anything about my life as Ive lived itbecause I wouldnt be where I am today if not for all the experiences Ive had, both good and badI wish Id known the high price you inevitably pay when you choose to keep a secret that compels you to live a lie.
Its a clich to say that the truth will set you free. But as youll see, thats exactly what happened to me. And its that wish to live an open and honest life that inspires me now to share my story with you.
Robbie Rogers
February 2014
CHAPTER 1
CRACK-UP
I was out cold before my face hit the ground.
February 18, 2012, should have been one of the happiest days of my life. Instead, I was crumpled in a heap on the stunningly green pitch (what they call a sports field in England), unconsciously breathing in the scent of freshly cut grass.
If Id been able to hear anythingand I guarantee you that I wasnt hearing a thing because my brain was still seeing starsI could have heard a pin drop, because the twenty-one thousand soccer fans in the stands that sunny afternoon were holding their breath to see if the motionless American, whod just made his debut at the historic Elland Road soccer stadium with their beloved Leeds United, was dead or alive.