Martin - The Everything Mother of the Bride Book

Dear Reader,

After being in the wedding industry for over sixteen years, I still love every conversation I have with moms of brides-to-be who have recently become engaged. The best part of the wedding day is seeing a mother hold back her tears as she watches her baby girl head down the aisle with her daddy. It is truly a magical moment every time.

Yes, I love weddings and have yet to become jaded. Thats because every wedding introduces me to new and interesting ideas. When it comes to planning weddings, one of my greatest resources is youthe mother, stepmother, grandmother, or godmother. You have watched your little girl grow up to become a woman who has found the man (or woman) of her dreams. You have watched her mature, find her own style, and refine her tastes. You know what makes her tick and what ticks her off. The mother-daughter wedding planning experience can be fraught with emotions, but thankfully, your daughter has you to help her.

My own wedding was something my mom and I loved doing together. She leaned on my experience, and I leaned on her for guidance and wisdom with the new extended family that I was marrying into. I was able to see my moms part in the wedding much more clearly after watching so many MOBs over the years. It was a blessing for me to watch my mom thoroughly enjoy my wedding dayone of the happiest days of my life!

The journey from the day of engagement through the wedding day is filled with emotions. It is my hope that by picking up this book, you will start this journey with the tools you need to make it one you and your daughter will savor and remember with a smile. My mom and I wish you all the joy that we experienced and more!

Katie Martin

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Avon, Massachusetts

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ISBN 10: 1-4405-8820-1

ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-8820-4

eISBN 10: 1-4405-8821-X

eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-8821-1

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Cover images Teerawut Masawat/123RF.

Para mi hija, Elena, y mi hija, Wendy, y su hija, Gema. Les amo mucho! For my son. I promise to be the best mother of the groom (one day... like when you are 30)! Para mi Miguel Te amo siempre!

Thank you, Alison De Wit, for reminding me that grammar is always of utmost importance. Thanks (and a huge hug) to Stefanie Manns for always saving me in the editing department. Thanks again to Grace and HillaryI am forever grateful for the opportunities you have given me!

1. Its not my wedding. Its yours, honey!
2. Of course you can have a dessert bar instead of a wedding cake.
3. No problem, the check is on the way.
4. Need my credit card number?
5. How cute that you picked blue shoes for your something blue!
6. Your bridesmaids can spend the night.
7. Your dad loves the outfit you picked out for him.
8. Whatever color you like, sweetheart.
9. Sure, I can pick up the stamps.
10. Instagram it!

Your daughter has finally reached you on your cell phone to proclaim the news, Im engaged! You are thrilled and eager to broadcast the engagement to your husband, family, friends, and coworkers. Within the next few hours, you will have already planned out the entire wedding with a reception at your beach home. Wait! This is your daughters wedding, not yours. She really loves winter, hates wearing bathing suits, and she did mention the historical mansion near her favorite park downtown during her phone call. Reality sets in and you ask yourself: now what? Since weddings have changed significantly over the years, this eternal question is not quickly or easily answered.

In the past, it was the mother of the brides duty to take care of every detail of the wedding. She would make almost all of the decisions, and the bride simply needed to pick out her dress and smile as she floated down the aisle. Oh, how the times have changed! Extended and divorced families (along with the rising average age of a bride) have completely changed a mothers role in planning her daughters wedding. Real weddings are showcased on TV, in newspapers, online, and in pretty much all media outlets. Brides are now the focal point of the wedding planning process. Brides also have a lot more buying power and are willing to pay for things that you might think are ridiculous.

This does not mean you will be banished from making decisions or offering opinions and advice; it simply means youll need to find different ways to communicate with your daughter.

Some brides take immense pleasure in planning their own weddingthey may want it to reflect their sense of style and personality. On the other hand, many brides would be lost without their mothers guidance during the planning process. Perhaps you have entertained a lot, and she will be more than happy to let you make most of the plans. Just look at the two most important factors of the planning process: your relationship with your daughter, and who is holding the purse strings. Remember, whether you do most of the work or only a part, it will help if you are prepared and knowledgeable.