Sharon Naylor - The Brides Survival Guide: 150 Mistakes You Should Avoid for the Perfect Wedding

ADDITIONAL BOOKS BY SHARON NAYLOR

1000 Best Wedding Bargains
1000 Best Secrets for Your Perfect Wedding
The Brides Diplomacy Guide
The Brides Gratitude Journal
The Bridesmaid Handbook
The Busy Brides Essential Wedding Checklists
The Complete Outdoor Wedding Planner
The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette
The Grooms Guide
How to Have a Fabulous Wedding for $10,000 or Less
How to Plan an Elegant Wedding in 6 Months or Less
Love Bets
Its My Wedding Too: A Novel
Its Not My Wedding (But Im in Charge): A Novel
The Mother of the Bride Book
Mother of the Groom
Renewing Your Wedding Vows
The Ultimate Bridal Shower Idea Book
The Ultimate Wedding Registry Workbook
Whats Your Bridal Style? (coauthor)
Your Day, Your Way: The Essential Handbook for the 21st-Century Bride (coauthor)
Your Special Wedding Toasts
Your Special Wedding Vows

The Brides
SURVIVAL GUIDE

150 MISTAKES
YOU SHOULD AVOID
for the
Perfect Wedding

Sharon Naylor, author of The Brides Diplomacy Guide

Copyright 2009 by Sharon Naylor.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, an F+W Media Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59869-817-6
ISBN 13: 978-1-59869-817-6
eISBN: 978-1-44052-079-2

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

CONTENTS

P ART ONE.
Before You Write Your First Check

P ART TWO
The Fun Begins

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

W ith many, many thanks to my fabulous editor Katrina Schroeder and the entire team at Adams Media, my agent Meredith Bernstein, my webmaster Mike Napolitan, the many wedding experts and luminaries with whom I have the pleasure of working, and the millions of brides and grooms who have honored me by including me in their wedding plans over the years. And of course, with thanks to my family and my husband Joe.

INTRODUCTION

I want the
wedding
to be perfect.

I ts the ultimate wedding dream, the perfect wedding day where every detail comes to life just as you planned itif not better. The weather is gorgeous, the reception is the party of the century with delectable food and a dance floor thats packed for every song. Everyone has a fabulous time, and youve never looked better in your life. Planning your wedding is the process by which you get to this perfect dream day, and every decision you make takes you one step closer to the lovely image you both have in your minds.

There are a lot of steps to take along the way, and most wedding couples worry about one thing: What if we make a mistake? One wrong decision, one bad vendor, and it all disappears. The pressure can be hard to bear sometimes, and that can take all the fun out of whats supposed to be a joyous time in your life. Add in the fact that your parents and bridal party members worry about making mistakes too, and your wedding could become a minefield of worries. Thats exactly what were going to prevent with this book.

Im going to alert you to the most common wedding-planning and wedding-day mistakes so that you dont get blind-sided by them, so that you preempt any wrong moves before anything gets ruined for your big day. Youre going to be surprised by some of the entries in this book. Theyre things you never would have thought about before, but theyre the top misjudgments that other brides and grooms have stumbled over. Youre going to find out which are the minor mistakes that can be easily remedied, and which are all-out disasters.

You may not have a lot of experience in all of the different industries of wedding planninglike photography, videography, floral design, cateringand to pull off a beautiful wedding, you have to become an instant expert in all of them! Who wouldnt be nervous about making a mistake? And when it comes to the people around you, including those already worried parents and best friends and siblings and guests, one wrong move at the start of the process and youre in the middle of a huge drama that can turn into lasting resentmentsall over one comment or e-mail that was taken the wrong way. Weddings magnify everyones emotions, so there are a lot of mistakes that have to do with the people around you. (See my book The Brides Diplomacy Guide for handling the problems that other people cause. When they mess up, you can clean it up wisely!)

And money? Some mistakes can cost you thousands of dollars.

You have all the inside secrets right here, so you will be prepared and you will know what not to do every step of the way. You have the lessons from countless brides and grooms who did make these mistakes in the past, so this gives you a huge advantage and much better odds of having that ideal wedding day. You might not be able to prevent every thing that could go differently than you planned, but with this book youre going to learn to prevent 150 of the most common wedding errors that you can control. And then, having done so much right, youll be a more relaxed bride and groom, enjoying the process to the fullest. So take notes, turn down the corners of pages, share the advice in this book with your bridal party and parents, and get ready to save your own wedding!

The following icons will show you the intensity of each potential mistake:

= Minor Misstep: Its just a little misstep that no one is going to take seriously, and can be laughed off with a self-deprecating What was I thinking? Sorry about that!

= Moderate Mistake: This ones going to take a little bit of damage control, and maybe a few extra fixes to your plans but its not the end of the world. You may get some raised eyebrows from others who know you flubbed, but you can ignore the critiques and just go about fixing the error.

= Major Catastrophe: Uh oh, this one is bad. Whatevers been done or said cannot be undone. You cant un-insult someone or turn back time and do it differently, as much as youd like to. If its a people-centered mistake, apologize right away and send a little note of regret. Its never the right move to ignore a truly egregious mistake and hope the other person gets over it. If its a potentially wedding-wrecking mistake, like forgetting to pay the deposit for your photographer and then losing his services with just a few weeks left until the wedding, get on that phone and do everything you can to come up with a new plan. This type of mistake is likely to cost you a lot of money, but the only remedy is to go to extra lengths to fix whatevers gone wrong. Just focus on the task and dont spend too much time beating yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has the power to make it as right as possible looking forward.