FIERCE
FIERCE
KELLY OSBOURNE
CONTENTS
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Version 1.0
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Published by Virgin Books 2009
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Copyright Kelly Osbourne 2009
Kelly Osbourne has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
All photographhs courtesy of Osbourne family archive unless otherwise stated
p.180 photograph Silvia Mautner
p.254 photograph Dave M. Bennett/Getty Images
p.274 photograph of Kelly in floppy hat Mark Weiss
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First published in Great Britain in 2009 by Virgin Books
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I would like to dedicate this book to every young woman whos ever felt lost
Acknowledgements
I know that I can be annoying and drive you all crazy so thank you so much for all that you do for me:
Claire Smith
Lynn Seager
Gary Farrow
Big Dave
Uncle Tony
Cousin Terry
Melinda Varga
Silvana Arena
Marsha Vlasic
Michael Guarracino
John Fenton
Anna Barnett
Kevin Thomson
Vaanita
Saba
Colin and Mette Newman
Hardy Chandhok
Sharon and Dave Godman
Dr. Ettlinger
Dari
Bob
Jude Alcala
John Stapleton
Celice
Jenn Yacoubian
Nicole Perna
Everybody that has given advice needs a special thank you:
Al-Anon Family Groups
Lino Carbosiero
CyberMentors
Brooke Dulien
Family Planning Association
Louis Walsh
Neil Young
Thank you to Hazleden and all the Hazel Nuts Thank you for helping me through the hardest time in my life. And a special thanks to Lisa K and Pat.
Thank you to Radio 1 for taking the risky chance of putting me on live radio because without The Surgery I would not have got the chance to write this book.
Caroline thank you for all your hard work. Working with you on this book was an amazing experience and I hope we get to do it all again.
Thank you to Louisa and the team at Virgin Books.
I couldnt get through a day without my friends who have been there and supported me throughout the good and the bad:
Maxi thank you for saving my life
Omar
Sammy and Fleur
Mum as much as this pains me to say it, after finishing my book, I realise that I am you. Dadda, thank you for teaching me that its OK for me to be who I am and even when Im not, thank you for loving me anyway. Jack, thank you for teaching me to be a better person.
Luke, thank you for making my life complete.
CHAPTER ONE
TURNING THIRTEEN
Parents are parents whether your father is a bank manager or a gardener. I found my dad embarrassing all the time.
T URNING thirteen is the start of one of the hardest times of your entire life. It really is. You dont know who you are. Youve got all these people telling you whats cool and whats not. There are just far too many influences in your life.
I had no idea what lay ahead when I celebrated my thirteenth birthday on 27 October 1997.
I expected that my life was going to change. Becoming a teenager was a big deal for me and Id been looking forward to it. We were living at Welders. Its our family home in Buckinghamshire and its where my parents live now when theyre in the UK. Even though Ive got my own home in London, Welders is the one place in the world where I feel really safe. I love that house so much. The special effects guy from Star Wars owned it before us. When Im there I have the best nights sleep. Welders is hidden away on a leafy road. Youd quite easily drive past it if you didnt know it was there.
Its probably not what youd expect from our family, but its homely and traditional. Mums Mini Cooper sits outside and as soon as I open the door I know Im home. Mums put a lot of work into making it a family home and I see it as being really cosy. Its not a fancy house.
Weve all made my mum and dad promise us theyll never sell it because it holds so many dear memories for all of us. Its surrounded by fields as far as the eye can see, full of deer and rabbits. When I look out of my bedroom window I feel so happy. My bedroom is still exactly the same as it was when we first moved there when I was nine. Its on the top floor, between my younger brother Jacks and my older sister Aimees rooms.