Pearce - When I Look at Him

When Sean is late for a meeting with his divorce attorney, he finds much more than a fellow attorney. He finds a man who understands where he has been, and also where he is going. Over dinner, the two of them realize that they must not let their chance meeting end after dessert. Their feelings for each other, though new and instantaneous, are nonetheless real. A shared kiss ignites in both of them much more than a spark. A passion burning deep inside them surfaces and neither can deny his feelings for the other. Sean fears that by satisfying his own desires, he may be jeopardizing his chances of being granted visitation rights with his son if and when his ex-wife discovers his secret.

When I Look at Him

A Beau to Beau Romance short story

Sensual and Sexual, with Passion, Pleasure, and Longing

Intro:

When Sean is late for a meeting with his divorce attorney, he finds much more than a fellow attorney. He finds a man who understands where he has been, and also where he is going. Over dinner, the two of them realize that they must not let their chance meeting end after dessert. Their feelings for each other, though new and instantaneous, are nonetheless real. A shared kiss ignites in both of them much more than a spark. A passion burning deep inside them surfaces and neither can deny his feelings for the other. Sean fears that by satisfying his own desires, he may be jeopardizing his chances of being granted visitation rights with his son if and when his ex-wife discovers his secret.

~Shannon Pearce~

Copyright 2010: Shannon Pearce

Beau to Beau Books

All rights reserved

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Book Content:

It was late afternoon on a Saturday and Sean was late again. Seans day had been what he would call typical, but not extraordinary, which means impossibly busy, and now he was pretty sure that his attorney had given up on him hours ago. Sean was an attorney, too, and understood that time was money, but still held out hope that the man was still in his office. He was running up the steps of the office when a man was coming out. He looked at Sean and said, You must be Sean. I was just leaving. I had given up on you hours ago. Oh, fuck! Sean stopped to catch his breath, and then realized that the man was somewhat offended by his remark. I'm sorry! Sean laughed. It's not your fault. I just need to find a job with normal hours. The man smiled at him. Working a lot, huh? Sean smiled. Sometimes it feels like I work all day and all night. The man smiled at Sean again, and Sean noticed that the man had blue eyes, the kind of eyes that are a brilliant sparkling blue with a black ring around them like an outline that makes the blue stand out even more. He held out his hand to the man. Lets start over, okay? I'm Craig, the man said, shaking Seans hand. Craig felt bad for Sean. He knew all too well that divorce was not easy. Why don't you come on in to my office, Sean. It's not like anybody is waiting for me. Sean was relieved. I would really appreciate that. I can't seem to find any time during normal hours. Craig walked Sean to his office and went over the many issues regarding his son and property in regard to the divorce. Sean told him what he wanted and that it wasnt his intention to hurt his ex, but she did have him followed secretly instead of coming to him with her concerns. Craig told Sean about his visitation rights and what might be tried by his ex-wife to have them revoked at any time. Craig was a stunningly good looking man, at least to Sean. He was tall and lanky, maybe 5'10" and 160 pounds, with straight brown hair, and as he walked away to get something out of a file drawer, Sean noticed that Craig had what looked to be an incredible ass. There was a quality about this man Craig, a quality that was telling Sean he was gay like him. After an hour or so of talking, Sean said to Craig, Craig, you said you didn't have anyone waiting for you. Would you like to have dinner? I don't have anyone waiting for me either, and I am starving. Craig looked at him and smiled. I would like that. Sean walked over to Craig. We can take my car. Craig was looking up at Sean with his gorgeous blue eyes. Sean was fiddling with the keys in his coat pocket when he suddenly had the urge to kiss this man he had just met. Look, if I'm wrong here, please forgive me. Sean reached over and put his hand behind Craigs neck and drew him slowly to him. Craig lowered his head to Sean and opened his mouth slightly. Sean kissed him very gently, their lips sweeping across the others. Craig looked into Seans eyes and then he looked down quickly. He smiled. You're a good kisser. Do you kiss everyone who tries to help you? Sean was still holding Craigs face gently in his hands. Sean smiled and said, Only the sexy good looking ones. He lowered his head and kissed Craig again, this time probing his mouth tentatively with his tongue. Craig didn't try in any way to pull away from Sean. If anything, he leaned into him even more. There's a great restaurant a few miles from here. His voice was soft. They have great seafood. Would that be okay with you? Sean smiled and said, Yes. Craig laughed a sweet, gentle laugh. Sean couldn't stop looking at him. He felt like a complete fool but simply could not take his eyes off of Craig, and the more that he watched him, the more Craig watched Sean watching him. Craig put his hand on Seans arm and looked up at him. I think I need some food. I seem to be feeling a bit weak from all of this.

The restaurant was not too far away and very intimate. They both ordered and had just gotten their drinks when Craig asked, What is it that you do for a living? Sean laughed. Im a lawyer. Seriously, Im not joking. I thought you knew. Craig laughed at the coincidence, and said, No, Im afraid I hadnt gotten very far with your file. You must have learned how to kiss before you became a lawyer, thats for sure. The candle on the table was dancing light around his face. Sean pushed his hand across the table and just barely touched Craigs fingertips. You liked being kissed, didn't you? he asked. Craig smiled and nodded. Yes, I did. You taste good, Sean. Sean looked at his glass of wine as he swirled it around. Most of my life I've tried to hide the fact that I'm gay and even after all that has happened, I still don't advertise it, but you had a look on your face, a look that said you needed to be kissed. Sean looked at him and smiled. I hope you don't think I'm weird. Craig looked at him questioningly. What all has happened to you to make you feel that you have to hide from your true self? The divorce is the biggest thing. Sean looked down at the table. As you probably know, my wife hired a detective who caught me in bed with a man. You would think that I would have known better. I do wish she would have come to me directly, though, or maybe I should have been honest with her. He looked up at Craig. How long were you married? Fifteen years, Sean replied. We have one boy who is fourteen. They both hate me now. Sean could say it, but there was no way to describe how much it hurt, your own son hating you for who you truly are. Craig looked at Sean but he couldn't read his expression. I'm sorry about your pain. When did you first realize you were gay? From about the time that I was twelve, Sean answered honestly. I just couldn't deal with it. Now everyone knows, and I've never been happier. Craig laughed. Are you always this hard on yourself? I guess maybe so, Sean laughed. Remember, though, I'm a lawyer, and am usually an egotistical son-of-a-bitch who thinks he's the greatest thing on earth. I am afraid of losing my son, although I think that in a way I have already lost him. Craig was staring into Seans eyes. Sean looked down at the table, and said, There was something about your kiss, and something about you. I've been looking for someone like you for a long time. There is no one to come home to now, and no one to care. Sean looked at Craig. Am I saying too much? Well, you can't tell me you haven't been invited to parties. I know the rich queens in this town and I'm sure they must have wanted to have you for breakfast. Sean laughed at this last remark. Yes, you're right. I just couldn't deal with that kind of life. I do want someone special to share my life with. He looked seriously at Craig. I'm really just a normal guy, Sean said. I am a man who has sex with and who loves men, he added. The waiter brought their food and they began to eat, both looking at each other and speaking occasionally. You never did answer me, Craig. Am I saying too much? Not at all. Tell me about you, Craig. Craig played with his napkin as he spoke. I've had a few boyfriends before, but they never lasted. The only important one was the first one and it turned out that he never really cared about me. This was painful for him and Sean could see the pain in his beautiful eyes. Sean spoke very softly as he asked more. How long were you with this first man? Craig looked up at Sean. Three years. We didn't live together, but I did think that he loved me. It turned out that he wanted to move up in my familys business and he thought that fucking me was the way to accomplish his goal. He's married now. I don't think that I've ever told anyone all this shit before. Craigs hand was still in Seans, and he was making no attempt to pull it back. I guess that I'd better give you back your hand so that we can at least finish our dinner. He looked at Sean and smiled and then looked down. Sean reached over and took his hand again. Craig, I spend every waking moment trying to get the truth out of people or trying to make them see the truth for themselves . You can tell me anything as long as it is the way you truly feel. Sean smiled at him. I like you, Craig. I like you too, Sean. I cant believe that I let you kiss me an hour after we met, though! It felt good, didn't it? Sean asked, smiling. Craig admitted, I can still feel it, and yes, it did feel good. It's been a long time since I let anyone kiss me. I forgot how very intimate kissing is. Sean looked at Craig for a minute. Craig, I like you a lot, but we can go as slow as you need to go. I know that those first relationships have probably left you feeling like you can't trust anyone, so if I start going faster than you want to go just tell me. You won't hurt my feelings, Sean assured him. Craig looked at Sean for a long while. Sean, lets do this. Tomorrow you come over to my house for dinner and we can talk more about the divorce if you like, or whatever. We can be a lot more relaxed there, I won't be so tired, and we can really get to know each other. Craig wrote down the directions to his house for Sean to follow. He looked down at the table and then looked up at Sean. Ill warn you. I dont put much effort into what Im wearing when I have the rare chance to be at home the entire day. He laughed a somewhat embarrassed laugh. Sean laughed too. He touched Craigs hand and spoke seriously. It's the thought of days just like what you described that keep me going. No meetings, no pressure, no tie.