Recorded Books Inc. - How to not give a f*ck at Christmas: a no f*cks given guide to surviving the holidays

Hello, and good job downloading this short ebook! If youre reading it because you liked my first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, thank you very much. Youre already a step ahead, because you know about the NotSorry Method and the ways in which not giving a fuck will transform your life. If you want, you can skip right past the rest of this introduction and get to the good stuff. (Not that it would hurt to have a little refresher.)

And if this is your first taste of the holy nectar that is #NotSorry, I urge you to savor every last drop! Theres no time like the holidays to get your fucks in order.

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I wrote The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck for all of us who work too much, play too little, and never have enough time to devote to the people and things that truly make us happy.

If youre like me, youve been giving too many fucks about too many things for too long. Youre overextended and overburdened by life. Stressed out, anxious, maybe even panic-stricken about your commitments.

I was almost thirty years old when I began to realize it was possible to stop giving so many fucks, but I was nearly forty before I figured out how to make it happen on a grand scale, and then how to share it with the world. My book is the culmination of everything Ive learned about not giving a fuck, a testament to the pleasure it has brought me, and a step-by-step guide for those wishing to free themselves from the shackles of fuck-giving in pursuit of healthier, happier lives.

I was a born fuck-giver. Maybe you are too.

As a self-described overachieving perfectionist, I gave my fucks liberally all throughout my childhood and adolescence. I tackled numerous projects, tasks, and standardized tests in order to prove myself worthy of respect and admiration from my family, friends, and even casual acquaintances. I socialized with people I did not like in order to appear benevolent; I performed jobs that were beneath me in order to appear helpful; I ate things that disgusted me in order to appear gracious. In short, I gave way too many fucks for far, far too long.

This was no way to live.

But little by little over the next several years, I stopped giving a fuck about small things that annoyed me. I RSVPd no to a couple of after-work mixers. I unfriended some truly irritating people on Facebook. I refused to suffer through another reading of your play.

And little by little, I started feeling better. Less burdened. More peaceful. I hung up on telemarketers; I said no to a weekend trip with toddlers; I stopped watching season 2 of True Detective after only one episode. I was becoming my true self, able to focus more on people and things that actually, as Japanese decluttering maven and author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo might say, sparked joy.

Soon, I realized I had my own insights to share with regard to life-changing magic.

Brings you joy? Then by all means, keep giving a fuck.

But perhaps the more pertinent question is: Does it annoy?

If so, you need to stop giving a fuck, posthaste.

Ive developed a program for decluttering and reorganizing yourmentalspace by not giving a fuck, wherein not giving a fuck means not spending time, energy, and/or money on things that neither make you happy nor improve your life (annoy), so that you have more time, energy, and/or money to devote to the things that do (bring joy).

I call it the NotSorry Method. It has two steps:

1. Deciding what you dont give a fuck about

2. Not giving a fuck about those things

If you follow these steps using a combination of honesty and politeness (even no-fuck-givers have standards, you know), youll have done nothing wrong. As a result, you will quite literally be not sorry.

Your spirit will be lighter, your calendar will be clearer, and your time and energy will be spent on only the things and people you enjoy. In fact, once you begin implementing NotSorry, youll never want or need to give an extraneous fuck ever again.

Its life-changing. Swear to God.

You should give a fuck if somethingbe it human, inanimate, or conceptualdoes not annoy and does bring you joy. Sometimes that calculation is easy and the decision is obvious. Huzzah! Very exciting. But more oftenand the reason you need the NotSorry Methodyoure not pausing to make any calculation at all, or youre making the wrong one.

Most people give away their fucks without much thought. Feelings of guilt, obligation, or anxiety cause them to behave in a manner that, while least objectionable to others, is often detrimental to their own levels of annoy vs. joy.

This is never more true than at the holidays, when forces conspire to drain our Fuck Budgets to zero, and then some. Balancing work, family, friends, romance, and traveland maxing out our credit cards while were at itcan turn a season of celebration into a Lemony Snicket-esque series of unfortunate events.

All of this is counterproductive to living your best life. (If you dont want to be living your best life, you should just stop reading now.)

Still with me?

Okay, then, riddle me this: Instead of feeling guilty, obligated, and anxious, wouldnt you rather feel empowered, benevolent, and carefree? Youd be like Santa Claus, except instead of toys, youre walking around with a big ol bag of fucks and only doling them out to the boys and girls you deem worthy.

You can be the Santa of fucks!

So stop saying yes right away to please others and, instead, take a moment to question not only whether you give a fuck (i.e., care)about