Sasson Jean P. - Princess: secrets to share

The Challenge of Keeping Secrets

A good Muslim must keep secrets.

For non-Muslim readers who may feel surprise at hearing this disclosure, I will briefly explain the motivation for secret-keeping in Islamic societies.

For readers who do not know, the Muslim world is unique when it comes to secret-keeping. Certainly, no human secret is safe in most societies. For those who have read newspapers and magazines published in Great Britain or America, you have likely been scandalized at the malicious articles. Such stories are written with the sole intent of vilifying high-profile celebrities, or even ordinary people who are so unfortunate as to gain the notice of journalists. Many innocent lives have been damaged by such disagreeable media attention.

While there are many negatives in my own society, there are positives, too. One is that you will never read slanderous reportage in Saudi newspapers or magazines. Muslims are taught that anything told to others that does not serve a virtuous purpose is considered backbiting, which is highly improper conduct for any follower of Islam. Thus, it is essential to conceal secrets that protect us and those we know. This wisdom came from the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him), who once told a companion, Whomever sees a defect in a Muslim, and overlooks that defect, is the same as one who saves the life of a young girl who has been buried alive.

For readers familiar with Saudi Arabia, you know that female babies born in our country once faced the peril of being buried alive. Before the Prophet Muhammad prohibited the heinous practice, there was widespread acceptance that fathers or mothers could end the life of a female infant thus. Even after the Prophets command to cease the custom, some unfeeling parents and unfaithful Muslims defied his ruling. They accepted the custom of freeing a family of a female child who might possibly bring dishonor upon them. This is a fear that still inhabits numerous parental hearts in my country, where mothers and fathers still endlessly fret that a daughter will witlessly conduct herself in such a manner as to bring them shame.

Truthfully, during the time of ignorance, most families believed that there were no beneficial aspects of birthing a daughter. Thus, tiny girls were taken to the soft sands, where her father scooped out a small grave, placing the innocent and trusting infant in the ground to be buried alive, to die a terrifying, gruesome death.

But those fathers, or other male family members, who heeded the wisdom of the Prophet to take action to save the lives of innocent female infants were considered the best of men. And thus believers take the Prophets words to mean that to keep secrets that will expose others to idle gossip or societal reprimand is the same as saving a life.

Although I have been one of the first to acknowledge some of the undesirable facets of my society, I also take pleasure in revealing the advantages of life in Saudi Arabia. One such benefit is related to the Prophets words against backbiting and telling lies. If one is born a Saudi Arabian, there will be no fear that others will fabricate falsehoods about you or those you love. If such should happen, that person will be harshly punished. Such disapproval, and guaranteed punishment from society, stills the tongues of many gossips.

In my Muslim society, the loss of ones reputation is considered as serious as physical death. This means that there have been several legal cases in Saudi Arabia where those found guilty of slandering others have earned a term in prison, topped by public and painful flogging. Potential backbiters take heed!

As a young girl, I often sat listening at the knee of my beloved mother, a Muslim woman who lived a life of devotion to all things Islamic. I clearly remember the day she made her point about keeping secrets, when she gently grasped my small tongue between her fingers and slowly pulled, telling me, Sultana, the Prophet once took hold of his own tongue, saying, Keep this under control.

During those long-ago babyish years, I felt a rush of pleasure to be encouraged by my darling mother to keep my tongue quiet from spilling secrets. Those declarations from her own impeccable mouth illuminated the truth that nothing good would come of publicizing mischievous behavior. Truthfully, though, due to my youthful inability to judge my own actions in a mature manner, I applied her counsel to self only, meaning that while I took care to guard and keep secret my own naughty behavior, the wicked ways of my nemesis, my brother Ali, were told to all.