Slaughter - Are you afraid of the dark rum?: and other cocktails for 90s kids

For monica Table of contents Introduction: I Love the 90s When I was a kid, I couldnt wait for Friday and Saturday and the TV shows I looked forward to all week. On Fridays, there was ABCs TGIF lineup. That meant the Tanners, the Matthews family, the Winslows, and the Fosters and Lamberts. I watched as families came together, fell apart, and then came back together to the dulcet sounds of uplifting instrumental music (or in the case of Full House , a number laid down by Jesse and the Rippers). Saturday nights were much more important. If you were lucky enough to have cable at the time, you know what block of TV meant the most to 90s kids like me: Saturday Night Nickelodeon, better known as SNICK.

Shows like Clarissa Explains It All (Melissa Joan Hart would later show up on TGIF as Sabrina the teenage witch); The Adventures of Pete & Pete ; The Ren & Stimpy Show (which only about half of my friends and I were allowed to watch); my favorite, Are You Afraid of the Dark? ; and later, All That and Kenan & Kel shaped my childhood taste and took me into angsty teenagerdom and a new century. I bring up these two nights of television because, for me, they are the epitome of 90s nostalgia, bringing back happy memories of the comforts and fun of childhood. Now, at almost thirty and working and paying bills and doing all of those responsible grown-up things, I truly, madly, deeply miss the 90s. This book is a booze-filled, playful attempt at getting those warm childhood feelings back. Sure, its not a perfect scienceI cant bring back the exact feeling of my familys old burgundy couch, and I cant bring back the anticipation for the newest game for my Sega Genesis, and I surely cant bring back that weird Orbitz drink (not that I would necessarily want to)but Im offering something maybe better: nostalgia in a glass. On that note, lets get to the drinks.

In this book youll find recipes for original craft cocktails that have a little fun with 90s pop culture and a selection of drinks from my childhood that Ive booze-ified. Youll also find playlists, games, and other ideas to help you plan the best 90s party since 1999 (though this time, we can feel safe in the knowledge that Y2K isnt going to destroy our entire infrastructure). *** Nostalgia often evokes good feelings. Cocktails often evoke good feelings. Thats what this book aims to do.

Recommended Tools and Glassware Before you get started reliving the 90s, youre going to need some tools to make the drinks themselves.

Below, youll find a list of the things that are generally good to have on hand for making a variety of drinks, including all of the ones in this book. Depending on how many people youre making drinks for, having between two and four of these tools on hand is a good idea, especially in terms of the glassware, though having a second shaker handy would be smart. *** Tools A Sense of Humor Hey, look at that. One thing down. If youve made it this far, youre in it for the long run. Youre ready to conquer the Aggro Crag that is this book.

All of the puns. All of the bad jokes. In this book, theyre like Pringles. Once you pop, you cant stop. And by you, I mean me, and by cant stop, I mean wont stop. Semantics.

Jigger Jiggers are used to measure spirits, ingredients, or your flop sweat when you realize your personal Kelly Kapowski is coming over for the first time and you desperately want to impress her. Jiggers tend to come in two sizes, each with two different measurements. The first would be two ounces and one ounce, while the second holds one and a half ounces and three-quarters of an ounce. You dont need both, but its a good idea to have them. Theyre like Pokmon cards. Youve gotta catch em all.

Except theres only two, so its pretty easy. Shakers There are two main types of shakers out there: Boston shakers and cobbler shakers. Boston shakers consist of two parts: a large metal shaking tin and a smaller mixing glass (looks like a pint glass but is thicker). These are what you see most craft bartenders using, as shaking them looks fly and professional. If youve never shaken a drink before, Id go for the cobbler. The Boston shaker takes a little bit of practice, and the cobbler shaker is a little more novice-friendly.

It comes in three piecesa shaker tin, a metal lid with a built-in strainer, and a cap for that lid. Simply put your ingredients in the tin, put the lid and cap on, then shake. When youre ready, pop the cap off and pour through the strainer. Mixing Glass Mixing and shaking do the same thingthey dilute and they chill. If youre working with cocktails that are only composed of spirits, then youre going to want to stir them. A Yarai mixing glass is a good choice, but if you dont think youll be doing much stirring, a pint glass will do just fine.

Barspoon The Stretch Armstrong of the spoon world, barspoons are long and usually have one of two things on the opposite enda muddler (which looks like someone welded a few dimes to the end) or an icebreaker (a fat teardrop). For the purposes of this book, you probably wont be breaking much ice that way, so try to find one with a muddler on the end. Strainers Depending on the cocktail, youre going to want to strain or even double strain it to make sure it comes out perfectly, keeping elements you dont want someone drinking in the mixing tin. Here, youll want to get two types of strainersa julep strainer and a Hawthorne strainer. Julep strainers are large, bowl-looking strainers that fit into mixing glasses on an angle and allow you to get the good stuff out. Hawthorne strainers fit into mixing tins and allow you to strain from them (if youre using a cobbler shaker, you dont need one of these).

If a cocktail calls for double straining, picking up a cone-shaped mesh strainer is recommended. Bottle Opener You cant drink with the Budweiser frogs without a bottle opener. I mean, you could, out of cans, but this is my book and my joke, so just run with it. Either way, you may need it to open juices or other ingredients. Juicer For cocktails that use juice, you can go one of two ways. You can go Full 90s (never go full 90s!) and use bottled (and sometimes even sweetenedthe humanity!) juices.

They work just fine, dont get me wrong, but they taste different. If you can find and afford fresh fruits (lemons, limes, etc.) to juice, I recommend you do so. If you have a juicer at home already, great. If not, picking up something like the Amco enameled hand juicer is a great buy for less than twenty bucks. You simply cut the fruit in half, put the rind side up in the bowl, and squeeze. Look for one that fits lemons and limesthe bigger one that holds grapefruits isnt really necessary.

Knife Youre going to have to cut citrus somehow. A good paring knife will do the trick, and you can get one for cheap just about anywhere. If you were to up your knife game, Id also suggest a channel knife so that you can create citrus peel zests for certain cocktails. *** Glassware Shot Glass I feel theres no need to explain what a shot glass is. For these, I suggest heading to a Goodwill and looking for some true 1990s shot glasses. Neon. Neon.