Danu Morrigan - The Guidebook to Healing and Thriving

The Guidebook for

Healing

And

Thriving

Chapter 1:

Welcome to the Guidebook for Healing and Thriving.

I hope and intend that this Guidebook will be your route map, guide and even friend on your journey to full healing and thriving.

I truly believe that healing and thriving is possible for us. It's not an easy journey for sure, and it's unfair that we have to work so hard to just get to a place where others, those who had loving parents, started. But that's the way it is, and there are gifts too in this journey that the 'normies' will never have.

I invite you to consider, acknowledge, applaud and even celebrate your sheer courage.

Most people never can bring themselves to examine whether their relationship with their mother or father is toxic. That you have done so is a huge step and truly I do hope you're so proud of yourself for having done that.

Without acknowledging the toxicity of your parent's narcissism and their

mistreatment of you, nothing was possible. Now that you have acknowledged this huge truth, all things are possible.

I'm still on this journey myself, but I have been on it for a good number of years, many of them before I knew about NPD.

At that time I thought I was fixing a flawed me, rather than healing an injured me.

(And of course the same is true for you: You are injured and requiring healing, rather than flawed and requiring fixing, no matter that that's what your parent taught you.) So, yes, I'm still on this journey, and I have lots to learn and many roads to take yet.

But I have, I believe, come a long way, long enough to share in this Guidebook, and I have researched resources and tools to help me, and which I can share with you.

One major tool I'll be referring to again and again is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT has literally changed my life for the better, and I am so excited to share it with you. It is a process of tapping on acupuncture points to release/erase/evaporate negative emotions and limiting beliefs.

I will talk more about beliefs in the Guidebook chapter after next, but for now, I suggest that you learn the EFT process. It is very simple - don't be fooled by its simplicity though as it is very, very powerful.

You can learn it here.

I also need to say that when I recommend products or resources, I may well receive commission if you buy them. (And of course, if you buy any of my own resources, I will receive income from that). I will not recommend anything that I do not believe in, 2

however. I review a lot more resources than I tell you about, as many of them are not good enough to be recommended.

So, welcome on this DONM journey to Healing and Thriving.

Danu

Chapter 2:

The Roller-Coaster: Youre In For Quite A Ride

When you first have the N-realisation, you will typically find that you enter a period of an absolute roller-coaster of emotions.

The first thing youll feel is elation. Its not you, youre not crazy. There is such freedom and relief in that that you might feel nearly giddy with it.

But then might come a sense of desolation. You have to realise, once and for all, that your narcissistic parent never loved you, and that is a very, very hard thing to accept.

You may well experience grief as much as if your parent had died - and in a way they have, in that your image of them as nice and loving has died.

And then guilt might rear its head. How could you possibly think so badly of your parent?? Your own parent! How horrible and ungrateful a child are you... This bit might involve minimising what they did to you. It wasn't that bad, you'll think.

And then euphoria might come back, as it hits you again how it was not you, that you are not crazy, and that you are now free from a lifetime of those lies.

And then sadness maybe ... grief for that little child and young adult that you were, who believed all the lies and who wasted so many years.

Anger, and even rage, will no doubt rear up too. Fury maybe. How dare they treat you like that? How dare they abuse you (for that's what it was, make no mistake)? You might even have fantasies and dreams of inflicting violence on them.

More guilt then - how can you be so angry at your own parent?

And fear for the future - what now, for your relationship with them? Will you stay in touch, or will you leave the relationship? Each of those is a big decision, with massive implications, and that can be overwhelming at this time.

If you're Christian you might butt up against the issue about honouring your mother and father, and be buried in that dilemma. Is thinking this about a parent dishonouring them?

And then hope might raise its head - maybe you're wrong! Maybe if you try just a tiny bit harder, you can sort it out with them, earn their love, get a proper relationship with them.

Despair is another ingredient in this roller coaster too. How can you possibly heal from all the fallout of this? How can you ever reclaim all the things that should have been your birthright, such as self-esteem and confidence?

Well, the good news is that a huge part of what I'll be sharing with you in this Guidebook will be the answers to the above dilemmas, and we'll go through each of them in the coming weeks. For now, though, here's the solution:

Take deep breaths. Literally. Every time you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or stressed by this, consciously take at least ten deep breaths. When we're stressed we breathe from our chest, and phsyically doing the opposite of that, i.e. breathing from our diaphragm, calms us.

Try EFT. I'll be going into more detail about how to use it on these issues in the coming weeks, but for now, just Tap when you feel stressed, without saying anything, and note how it calms you.

Know that this will pass. It's a process, not a situation. You're not doomed to live in this chaos and confusion forever.

Accept the roller-coaster. Don't try to fight it. You are processing huge stuff here.

You're changing your very paradigm, or world-view, of how life is, and who you are.

That's massive work all by itself - of course it's going to cause upheaval. So don't try to fight that.

If at all possible don't do any other big life-change stuff while this process is going on, say for three months or so. So if you can avoid moving house, changing jobs etc, then do so. You don't need more stress right now.

Accept all the feelings. Don't berate yourself for having them. They are what they are, just accept them. Try to observe them if possible - that stops them being so overwhelming. Observe them and accept them without swimming in them. This

technique can take practice, but it's very much worth doing.

If you have a partner, ask him/her to support you during this time. They don't have to understand what's going on (there's more information later in this on that), just to accept and support you. The same goes for adult children. If you have younger children then it's not appropriate to burden them with this, just try to put on a brave face for them as much as possible.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself little treats such as a nice walk, a hot bath, a couple of hours to read a novel and so on. Being nice to yourself might seem very challenging and just WRONG, so don't do it if it causes more stress. But if at all possible, nurture yourself at this time.

Acknowledge, applaud and maybe even celebrate your courage. You're facing up to something most people can never bring themselves to do, i.e. the fact that your mother/parents were abusive. Be proud of that.

As I said, we'll be visiting these issues, and more, as the course develops.

All best, Danu

Chapter 3:

Your Beliefs - Who Has The Power Really?