Lorene Hanley Duquin - The Catholic Grandparents Handbook: Creative Ways to Show Love, Share Faith, and Have Fun

THE CATHOLIC GRANDPARENTS HANDBOOK

CREATIVE WAYS TO SHOW LOVE, SHARE FAITH, AND HAVE FUN

THE CATHOLIC GRANDPARENTS HANDBOOK

CREATIVE WAYS TO SHOW LOVE, SHARE FAITH, AND HAVE FUN

LORENE HANLEY DUQUIN

Copyright 2018 Lorene Hanley Duquin

All rights reserved.

Published by The Word Among Us Press

7115 Guilford Drive, Suite 100

Frederick, Maryland 21704

wau.org

22 21 20 19 181 2 3 4 5

ISBN: 978-1-59325-329-5

eISBN: 978-1-59325-504-6

Scripture quotations are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright 1965, 1966 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Excerpts from the English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for use in the United States of America, copyright 1994, United States Catholic Conference, Inc.Libreria Editrice Vaticana. Used with permission.

Pope Francis quotes are taken from the Vatican website, vatican.va. Used with permission.

Cover design by Faceout Studios

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the author and publisher.

Made and printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018930816

To my grandchildrenColin, Ellie, Patrick, Lilia, Alaina, John, Mark, and Jameswith lots of love.

Table of Contents

Introduction

W hat is the difference between a grandparent and a Catholic grandparent?

Thats a question Ive been pondering ever since Beth McNamara, my editor at Word Among Us Press, asked if I might be interested in writing a book for Catholic grandparents.

I am the Catholic grandmother of eight wonderful grandchildren, currently ranging in age from infancy through the tween years. I began to ask myself: Is there something that makes me different from my friends who are not Catholic? Do I act differently? In what ways does my Catholic faith form a foundation for my relationship with my grandchildren?

The answers to these questions unfolded for me as I started to interview other Catholic grandparents for this book. I discovered that a lot of what I did, and what other Catholic grandparents did, was not that different from what my non-Catholic friends did. Catholic grandparents live in the same secular world as other grandparents. But I began to see that Catholic grandparents tend to see that world from a slightly different perspective, one that is shaped by a faith tradition that is two thousand years old.

My interviews also uncovered some of the most painful parts of being a Catholic grandparentespecially when grandchildren are not baptized or are not being raised in the Catholic faith. Some grandparents spoke about the pain of divorce, grieving the loss of a loved one, struggles with in-laws, and other challenging family situations. These grandparents were very open and honest about the difficulties they have faced and how their Catholic faith has supported them. Some of them asked that their experiences and advice be used anonymously. I have honored those requests.

So what makes a Catholic grandparent different?

The biggest differences that I found came in areas involving prayer, family traditions, celebrating sacraments, and sharing faith. But your answers may be different from mine. For that reason, I have added questions for reflection at the end of each chapter. You may find it helpful to reflect on these questions privately, or you may want to share these questions with friends who are grandparents or with other members in a grandparent support group.

This book is intended as a guide for new grandparents, affirmation for existing grandparents, and inspiration for all Catholic grandparents. It was designed to be a handbook with short chapters on a variety of topics. Each chapter has stories, practical advice, questions for reflection, a grandparent prayer, and insights from Pope Francis. At the end of the book, there are additional ideas for sharing faith and fun with grandchildren throughout the year.

Some grandparents will sit down and read this book cover to cover. Others will read only the chapters that seem interesting or apply to their own situations. Thats okay. Use this book in whatever way helps you the most.

No matter what situation you find yourself encountering as a Catholic grandparent, it is my hope and prayer that Gods grace and love will surround you, protect you, inspire you, and guide you in your relationships with your grandchildren and the members of your extended family.

Lorene Hanley Duquin

Chapter 1

A Special Kind of Love

S everal weeks before I became a grandmother for the first time, an experienced grandmother told me, Theres a special kind of love inside you that you dont even know exists until your first grandchild is born.

Her comment startled me. I knew there were different kinds of love, but I could not fathom how the love of a grandchild could differ from the love I feel for my children. It wasnt long before I found out that she was correct.

The love of a grandparent is different. Its not that I loved my new grandson more than I love my children. I love him in a different way.

The love of a grandchild is liberating. There are no strings attached. There are no day-to-day worries about childrearing or discipline.

The love of a grandchild is sacred. It reflects the love and generosity of God, and it instills in us a deep respect for life.

The love of a grandchild is awe inspiring. It carries the fulfillment of past generations and the hope of future generations.

The love of a grandchild is fun. It is a source of great joy.

The love I felt for my grandchild was, indeed, a special kind of love that I didnt even know existed. And over the years, as additional grandchildren came along, I felt an outpouring of love that expanded and deepened.

Understanding Love

As Catholic grandparents, one of the best ways to understand this special kind of love is to reflect on the ways Jesus revealed to us the depths of his love and the love of his Father in heaven. Here are some Scripture passages that can help us to better understand the love of our grandchildren from a spiritual perspective:

Love embraces children (Luke 18:15-17). Jesus let the little children come to him even though some people tried to keep the children away. How do we embrace our grandchildren? How do we give them unconditional love in the same way that Jesus did?

Love teaches (Matthew 13:1-53). Jesus revealed the kingdom of God by telling stories. How can we teach our grandchildren by telling stories?

Love is truthful (Mark 12:14-17). Jesus always told the trutheven when he knew that people were being mean or were trying to trick him. Are we always truthful in what we say to our grandchildren?

Love heals (Mark 6:53-56). Jesus always tried to help people who were sick, blind, deaf, or lame. How do we help our grandchildren when they are sick or suffering?

Love cares about people (John 6:1-15). When Jesus realized people were hungry, he made sure that everyone had enough fish and bread to eat. How do we feed our grandchildrenphysically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Love comforts (Matthew 11:28-30). Jesus reached out to people who were sad, tired, and afraid. How do we comfort our grandchildren when they struggle with problems or difficulties?