Lorene Duquin - The Best Is Yet to Come: Growing Older with Joy and Fulfillment

T H E B E S T I S

Y E T TO C OME

G r owin g O l de r w i t h J o y an d F u l fi l l me n t

LORENE HANLEY DUQUIN

Copyright Lorene Duquin All rights reserved.

Published by The Word Among Us Press 7115 Guilford Drive, Suite 100

Frederick, Maryland 21704

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ISBN: 978-1-59325-379-0

eISBN: 978-1-59325-380-6

Scripture texts used in this work are taken from The Catholic Edition of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1965, 1966 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Design by Suzanne Earl

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotation in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the author and publisher.

Made and printed in the United States of America Library of Congress Control Number: 9781593253790

To my husband, Dick, with gratitude and lots of love.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Is the best yet to come? What does it mean to grow older with joy and fulfillment? These are the essential questions that this book explores.

As I began the research, I quickly discovered that aging is a hot-button topic. Some people did not want to think about aging, let alone talk about their experiences of getting older. But the things that they did say revealed that they had accept- ed some modern myths that depict older people in negative ways. It was pretty obvious that they were trying to distance themselves from those negative stereotypes.

Other people were excited to talk about their experiences of getting older. They saw this time of their lives as a chance to be the person they had always wanted to be and a chance to do the things they had always wanted to do. They talked about the ways older people today are redefining what it means to age and smashing the stereotypes that depict older people as grouchy, feebleminded, and unattractive.

These folks told me they are rewriting the script that dictates what retirement means and when retirement should happenif ever. They are living healthy, active lives. They are finding mean- ing and purpose in who they are and what they do. And they are discovering that their faith in God not only sustains them but also inspires them in ways they never dreamed possible.

Interestingly, some of the people who initially didnt want to talk about aging changed their minds when I shared the

positive ways other people were approaching this stage of life. They began to recognize some of the positive aspects of their own aging process.

I started to see this book as a kind of travelogue highlighting the wide variety of things people experience on their journey into what many call their wisdom years.

Throughout this book, I cite current research studies that reveal amazing new information about the aging process. But the real experts in this book are the people I interviewed who shared their own stories, insights, and advice. They talked about their joys and their sorrows, the fears they face, the risks they take, and the decisions they make. They shared intimate details about their faith and their family relationships. Some of them asked that their experiences and advice be used anonymously, and I have honored those requests.

In the end, I pulled together the background research and interviews into a series of short chapters on a wide range of topics that explore the questions, concerns, opportunities, and adventures that people face as they move into the later stages of life.

Some people will read this book from beginning to end. Others will read only the sections that apply to their own cir- cumstances. Either approach is okay. There are also questions for reflection at the end of each chapter for people who want to use the book as part of a discussion group.

No matter how you approach this book, it is my hope and prayer that the Holy Spirit will inspire you in ways that will increase your joy and fulfillment throughout the rest of your life.

Lorene Hanley Duquin

CHAPTER

S t age s o f Li f e

Joe Buscaglia has never forgotten the framed picture on the wall in his grandfathers tailor shop. It showed steps going up on one side and steps going down on the other side, he explains. On each step was a man at a different age. On the first step the man is an infant, and each step shows him growing up. At the top the man is middle-aged. Down the stairs on the other side, the man gets older. The oldest man at the bottom looks a lot like the infant.

The words on the picture were written in Italian, so Joe never knew what they said, but the image made such an impression on Joe that it formed his outlook on life. My philosophy is that as you go along in life, you are just at different stages, he says. At each stage, you do what you need to do in order to live your life. There are good things and bad things about each stage. Whatever step you are on, enjoy the moment. Its just another stage in life.