Art Bennett - The Temperament God Gave You: The Classic Key to Knowing Yourself, Getting Along With Others, and Growing Closer to the Lord

The Classic Key to Knowing Yourself,

Getting Along with Others,

and Growing Closer to the Lord

by

Art Bennett, LMFT

and

Laraine Bennett

To Pope John Paul II

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With deep gratitude we acknowledge Father James Swanson, L.C., who first showed us the relevance of the temperaments to our spiritual and psychological growth; Father Richard Gill, L.C., our beloved (sanguine) spiritual director, who first suggested that we write a book; and Father John Hopkins, L.C., who reminds us that we must never use temperament as a sleight of hand to dodge the realities of actual sin and our need for conversion.

We also thank our (uniquely melancholic-sanguine) editor, Todd Aglialoro, for his faith in this project, for his attention to detail, and for not allowing sanguine Laraine and phlegmatic Art to settle for the first rough draft. We thank all our friends who shared with us their temperament stories and especially our parents, William and Teje Etchemendy and Art and Mildred Bennett. Last, but never least, we are grateful to God for giving us our wonderful children - Lianna, Ray, Sam, and Lucy - who enthusiastically participated in many discussions about temperament and contributed their own stories to our book.

You've probably heard the story of the country bumpkin who discovers that every time he leads his horse into the new barn that he has built, the poor horse hits its head on the strut spanning the entrance. One day, he sets his mind to fixing the situation by carving out a six-inch oval of wood from the strut just above where the horse's head passes. As he is getting under way with saw in hand, a friend happens upon him and asks what on earth he's doing, cutting out a section of his barn. The good man explains the horse's predicament. "But," the friend insists, "why don't you just dig out six inches of earth at the entrance to the barn?" Without hesitating, the country bumpkin retorts, "It's not his legs that are the problem; it's his head!"

Sometimes we just miss the obvious - and never is this truer than when it comes to dealing with ourselves! Mood swings, emotional reactions, ups and downs, knee-jerk responses, and apparently incorrigible behavioral ruts are the cause of countless heartaches and frustrations with ourselves and others. We want to know where it all comes from and what we can do about it. We seek answers on the self-help shelf or in the counselor's office, or perhaps at the drug store. Too often, however, we fail to get to the root of our difficulties. Unwittingly at times, we get caught up in dealing with symptoms, without ever getting to the malady itself. Like our country bumpkin, we waste precious time and energy (and money!) on quasi-solutions and awkward personal stratagems to rectify negative behavior while failing to perceive that the real solutions lie elsewhere. That's because the obvious often remains obscure until someone points it out to us.

So, if you are seeking real answers to what makes you tick, you've got the right book. And if you are a committed Christian, you've got an added value, because the authors are endeavoring to give you not only the key to keen self-understanding, but also an extraordinary tool for achieving personal holiness - the ultimate solution to the problem of the self!

Laraine and Art Bennett have done us a tremendous service in writing this book. Tapping into their vast experience in counseling, and often illustrating the theory with candid, personal (and humorous) self-disclosures, the authors have made learning about the temperaments - and how to grow in holiness through our God-given temperament - easy and fun.

Now, I happen to know something about temperaments, because I've got one myself; I'm a textbook case of the cholericsanguine. I am also a Catholic priest, a confessor, and a spiritual director. I deal a lot with the human heart (an extraordinary blessing and privilege!). I have seen time and time again just how incomparably valuable an understanding of one's temperament can be for living a genuinely fulfilling (and holy) life. How often, for my spiritual directees, has the point of departure for genuine progress in the spiritual life been to finally come to an understanding of their temperament!

The Temperament God Gave You is for adults - especially those seeking personal holiness. Who should read it? Moms and dads, single persons, consecrated persons, the engaged, the recently married, the married-with-grandchildren, counselors of all stripes (especially marriage counselors and those who counsel the engaged), priests (especially spiritual directors and confessors), as well as psychologists and therapists. All will benefit enormously from a book that is bound to become standard reference point for the study of temperaments.

The book reads quickly. It's chock-full of wisdom and common sense articulated in a user-friendly, entertaining prose. So, it's a great time investment. With a minimum of effort, you will assimilate a wealth of information. Almost every page contains a breakthrough in understanding ourselves and others - and we all know how gratifying that is.

The Temperament God Gave You equips you to smooth out the rough edges of your personality, to become a better communicator with your spouse and your children, and to become a facilitator of harmony amongst family and friends. It will also equip you as never before to cooperate with God's grace in the life-project of your transformation into Christ.

I know you're going to love this book!

May our Lord use every page to help you understand that your temperament is a gift and that he gave it to you for a good reason - so that in and through that temperament, you can become a saint!