Briana Saussy - Star Child: Joyful Parenting Through Astrology

This book is dedicated to my Pisces and Gemini Star Children, Jasper and Heath Saussy, and to my husband, David, best of men and best of fathers. There is no one Id rather be on this journey with than the three of you.

I dont think anyone can grow unless hes loved exactly as he is now, appreciated for what he is rather than what he will be.

Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers Neighborhood

I t should come as no surprise that Astrology can give us greater insight into our children and that it can support us in caring for them, educating them, and fully supporting their interests. We have consulted the stars for inspiration, knowledge, and self-development for millennia ever since we first noticed them in that velvety sky. From kings and queens to financial brokers and even US presidents, humans have long sought out the insights that Astrology provides and have worked with it as a supportive tool in navigating daily challenges and successes.

Who are these precious children of ours? Who are they, really? How are we raising and guiding them? Astrology can give us flexible, playful, more profound information than other schematics and typologies, and it can support parents, guardians, and family members with immediate new insights into their children. These are the ideas I want access to for my own kids. These are the observations all of my clients, students, and friends who are parents ask for. And its not just something for adults: the children themselves can get into their Astrology and participate in it by connecting with the stories and mythological figures of the signs and with the wonder that the stars inspire. This book is both guide and support for raising and connecting to our young ones through the maps of our lives, woven in starlight. It is also an inducement to trust our own experience. It is a call to a quest.

Ill never forget the day in fifth grade when my mother got a call from my guidance counselor. There was a Situation. In mom rushed to the school for a meeting. My guidance counselor lets call her Mrs. Cartwright wore the sort of heels that make a brisk, clicking sound on the schools linoleum-floored hall. You could always hear those power heels before you saw her. You could also hear my mother coming long before you saw her. Instead of power heels, however, it was the jingling and jangling of the many charm bracelets she wore on each wrist. I sat there in the counselors office, dreading each of those sounds. My stomach dropped to the floor. I had no idea why I was there, but I knew the battle of the Power-Clicking Heels versus the Charm Bracelets was about to commence.

Im the sort of person who likes to read the end of juicy books first, so Ill tell you now that the Bracelets won. But lets return to the story.

What was the Situation? A boy had lavished unwanted affection on me. He told me he liked me, in that way. He expected me to kiss him. I told him nicely I did not like him back in that way. And that was that.

Well, almost. He wouldnt take no for an answer and continued to pursue me. So I tried again, more bluntly this time. I think I used the word never. And perhaps something like over my dead body for added rhetorical and persuasive effect.

Anyway, it worked. Too well. This second verbal snub of mine upset the guy. But instead of teaching him how to take no for an answer, Mrs. Cartwright offered kind counsel to my mom that I had a problem. I was too honest, too blunt, too forthright.

I know what youre thinking, and I agree. Different times, I suppose, and Im hopeful that young girls today would receive quite different guidance. In any case, my mother responded by explaining in precise and logical terms that Mrs. Cartwright was clearly confused. I did not have a problem with honesty, but Mrs. Cartwright would be the one with the problem if she wanted to pursue the matter further. Turns out, Mrs. Cartwright did not pursue the matter further. The boy stopped lavishing unwanted attention on me. Life moved on. The Situation vanished.

Now, years later, I think Mrs. Cartwright might have been trying to counsel me to be more kind. Choosing kindness is certainly a bedrock principle worth cultivating. But most little girls I grew up with were not encouraged to be outspoken. Kindness was a way to hide our thoughts and feelings, whereas boys were given a free pass to say pretty much what they wanted to, no matter how crass or hurtful, because boys will be boys. I went on to face this set of attitudes not only as a child, but in college too. Even at the turn of the twenty-first century, ladies at the seminar table still deferred to their male counterparts. The problem was that I was just not that sort of girl. I spoke up and told the truth, perhaps to a fault.

As a mother of two boys, I sometimes find myself reflecting on this incident from my school days. What would have changed, I wonder, if the adults in the room had taken certain facts into consideration about me, the boy, and themselves? We of course do not know how Mrs. Cartwright counseled the boys parents, but what would have happened if she and my mother had been aware that, contrary to my Sun Sign in charming Libra, my Moon is in blunt and truth-telling Sagittarius, indicating that I am very comfortable telling the whole truth, regardless of how people feel? What counsel would have been given if they had seen that my Mercury is in Scorpio in the Eighth House another sign of blunt, forthright, and, yes, sometimes stinging communication? And then what about the boy? What were his tendencies and challenges?

Some of these terms may be unfamiliar, but you will likely recognize this as astrological language. You may have heard some of these terms in daily or monthly horoscopes, or you may have read books or studied the methods and terms of this ancient art. Mrs. Cartwright might have thought it to be poppycock. Or she might have learned it at her grandmothers knee.

I dont know that having all of this astrological information would have changed the outcome at all. There is so much that goes into the shaping of young hearts and minds that I would certainly never claim that these facts hold the sole key to unlock the mysteries of human personality.

Yet I am convinced these considerations would have helped me (and probably the boy as well) to gain understanding and tolerance of ourselves and those around us. Astrology can provide a counterpoint even a point of resistance to some of our most entrenched habits of thinking, in this case about how children should or should not behave. With an understanding of Astrology, we could instead turn to the child himself or herself and make an effort to see them as they are, not as the culture, their parents, or school guidance counselors would have them be.

There are many tools that can help us see and know our children better. Psychology offers one popular set of tools. Whether we make use of the insights of psychology, those of Astrology, or both, the whole point is to be able to see our children for who they are and thus to develop healthy, growing, joyful relationships with them. And that means its not just parents who can benefit from these insights but teachers, guidance counselors, relatives, neighbors, and family friends. This book is written for the whole village. Experience teaches us that knowing ourselves is hard theres no way around it. Most of our difficulties with parenting, caring for, and teaching children begin with our inability, or even our refusal, to be interested in the challenge of self-knowledge at all. Even if it proves one of the most difficult of tasks to know our kids and ourselves, it will serve us well to get interested in them, find out about them, and try to see and know them for who they are independent of our own desires for fulfillment, hopes, dreams, and fears.