Sheri Keffer - Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal
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- Book:Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal
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2018 by Sheri Keffer
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1263-1
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled AMP are from the Amplified Bible, copyright 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Scripture quotations labeled AMP-CE are from the Amplified Bible, copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Scripture quotations labeled ERV are from the Easy-to-Read Version. Copyright 2006 by Bible League international.
Scripture quotations labeled GNT are from the Good News TranslationSecond Edition. Copyright 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations labeled ISV are from The Holy Bible: International Standard Version . Release 2.0, Build 2015.02.09. Copyright 19952014 by ISV Foundation. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED INTERNATIONALLY. Used by permission of Davidson Press, LLC.
Scripture quotations labeled MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled NLV are from the New Life Version. Copyright 1969 by Christian Literature International.
Scripture quotations labeled TLB are from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled TPT are from The Passion Translation, copyright 2015 by BroadStreet Publishing Group, L.L.C., Racine, Wisconsin. All rights reserved. www.broadstreetpublishing.com
Scripture quotations labeled VOICE are from The Voice Bible Copyright 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice translation 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society. All rights reserved.
Events in this book are described to the best of the authors recollection. In some cases the names and details of the people and situations described have been changed or presented in composite form in order to ensure the privacy of those with whom the author has worked.
Images of UGG, AMY, the CEO, and HARMONY were created by Arturo Aguirre (www.artina-studio.com).
Charts, graphs, and lists were created by Saurabh Singh Sikarwar (www.prismantic.com).
Sexual betrayal is a devastating blow, and Dr. Sheri Keffer knows this professionally and personally. Her insight and instruction are invaluable on the topic. Practical tools, a friend who understands, and hope for a future can all be found in this book.
Daniel G. Amen, MD , founder of Amen Clinics and author of Memory Rescue
Intimate Deception is the best book I have ever read for women who have been sexually betrayed by their spouse. Dr. Keffer is not just a warm and wise counselor; she personally has been through the trenches after facing the shame and devastation of sexual betrayal. Her explanation on betrayal traumas impact on a womans brain functioning is outstanding and will help a woman understand why she sometimes feels so crazy. Each chapter provides not only explanation and validation but also practical steps readers can take to regain their emotional and spiritual well-being.
Leslie Vernick , relationship coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
Marriage infidelity is devastating to the person who has been betrayed, and it impacts every dimension: trust, confidence, and self-image, to name a few. Using clinical research, counseling anecdotes, and Dr. Keffers own personal experience, this book provides practical and also inspirational hope for the journey of healing. Highly recommended.
John Townsend, PhD , psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling
Dr. Keffer zeros in on the greatest need of betrayed partnershealing from trauma. Drawing from her research and work with betrayed partners, she has coined the term Intimate Deception Betrayal Trauma (IDBT) , which highlights the two things a woman is looking forsafety and truth. Courageously sharing her own story, Dr. Keffer guides readers to understanding their trauma and how it may be both similar to and different from that faced by others, then taking the steps that lead to healing. Betrayed partners will find hope in this book.
Dr. Milton S. Magness , author of Stop Sex Addiction and Real Hope, True Freedom
When a woman is blindsided by sexual betrayal, her world capsizes. She never expected it, so she never planned for it (why would she?), and she scrambles for answers. Intimate Deception is a life raft of hope and help, providing the encouragement and guidance that can only come from a fellow traveler. Sheri Keffer has been there, done that, sharing simply and powerfully from her personal journey as well as her professional expertise. She walks with the reader through their pain and recovery, offering hope for healing and freedom. Intimate Deception is simply the warmest book out there for someone who hurts.
Dr. Mike Bechtle , author of I Wish He Had Come with Instructions
There is way more to Intimate Deception than the title might suggest. This is the sexual betrayal recovery bible: loaded with stories illustrating your experience, full of optional treatments, and built on recent research, all with evidence-based outcomes. This book is from a woman who has been through it, did her own recovery, and took her mission through graduate training so that she could share it with you. Thank you, Dr. Keffer, for providing a great personal model and then taking the time to pull everything together for those suffering from this betrayal.
Dave Carder , author of Torn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair
Dr. Keffers book, Intimate Deception , is a powerful, comprehensive treatment of a complex subject. She combines her clinical expertise on trauma and her personal experience of sexual betrayal to capture both the mind and the heart of the reader. Dr. Keffers own journey through heartbreak and loss will resonate with anyone who has discovered sexual infidelity and is walking down the dark road of shattered trust. She invites the reader to benefit from this painful time by looking at their own history and the impact of trauma across a life span. She defines intimacy and relational safety and provides tools to discover unexposed wounds that block satisfying connection. Betrayal trauma affects our brains, and Dr. Keffer takes the complicated subject of brain science and makes it easy to understand, practical, and useful. This is a beautifully written and important book as more and more relationships are harmed by sexual indiscretions. We highly recommend it not only to those affected by betrayal but also to those helping others navigate this difficult terrain.
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