Copyright 2021 by Natalie Franke Hayes
Cover design by Jennifer Pace Duran
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First edition: August 2021
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Franke, Natalie, author.
Title: Built to belong : discovering the power of community over competition / Natalie Franke.
Description: Nashville : Worthy, 2021. | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2021010564 | ISBN 9781546017684 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781546017691 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Loneliness. | Communities. | Social media.
Classification: LCC BF575.L7 F73 2021 | DDC 158.2dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021010564
ISBNs: 978-1-5460-1768-4 (hardcover), 978-1-5460-1769-1 (ebook)
E3-20210702-JV-NF-ORI
Natalie challenges us to change our perspectives on business and relationships. If you have a narrative in your head that the other person is your competition and not your friend, that soundtrack is going to encourage you to miss so many new opportunities. Natalie confronts the scarcity and competition mentality head-on in a way that proves theres plenty to go around.
Jon Acuff, bestselling author of Soundtracks
A call to armsheart is always more valuable than hustle, and community is always more important than competition. Natalie inspires us to lean into vulnerability and paints a vision for how you can link arms in business and friendship.
Emily Ley, bestselling author of Growing Boldly
A countercultural must read! Business is all about relationships, and yet we are often in crazy, cutthroat competition with one another. Natalie reminds us that it doesnt have to be that way! We can be successful women with drive and ambition AND still make people our priority.
Lindsay Teague Moreno, bestselling author of Boss Up!
This message is one the world desperately needs right now. With a heart-on-sleeve style of storytelling, Natalie doesnt hold backher words are raw, rich, and necessary for anyone who feels like theyre wrestling with belonging. Natalie takes you by the hand to guide you with her wisdom and vulnerability. If youre longing for a shift in the way you see and find community, this book is a beautiful first step.
Hannah Brencher, author of Fighting Forward
Riveting. Relevant. Radical. In a world where people are challenged by the vicissitudes of life and the virus of loneliness, along comes a message in the bottle that simply says we belong. Every organization that believes people are more important than profit should consider this book required reading. I am going to recommend it to every leader, individual, organization that I know. A timeless classic that has arrived in the nick of time.
Dr. Simon T. Bailey, executive coach, author, and thought leader
Natalie Franke is a champion of peoplepeople over perfection, people over performance, people over competition. Built to Belong is both practical and inspirationalan important read for creatives and business leaders about why we should link arms, and the amazing gift of community over competition.
Jess Ekstrom, author of Chasing the Bright Side
If you want to make a greater impact and find more meaning in life, dont do it alone. Tap into the power of the collective. Natalies calls to action in Built to Belong are the perfect blueprint to widen and deepen your relationships so you can grow your community, business, and heart.
Antonio Neves, author of Stop Living on Autopilot
An engaging and inspiring read that makes plain the power that genuine human connection can have on our lives and businesses; a fact Ive personally witnessed in Natalies work as head of community at HoneyBook | Rising Tide. The book is an important reminder that we can go further and reach our goals faster when we go together.
Oz Alon, CEO of HoneyBook
To Hugh, for loving me unconditionally and encouraging me relentlessly.
To Mom, for teaching your daughters that they can rise by lifting others.
To the leaders of the Rising Tide, past and present, who are fighting for community in a competitive world. You are the very best of us.
Im tired of feeling alone.
The thought poured out of me before I had time to contemplate why. I desperately wanted to pull back those words like a hand on a hot stovetop, but I couldnt.
It was the truth. I hated the feeling, but it was right therestaring back at me with bleak desolation.
For ten years, I had checked off every box, followed the rules, climbed every rung of the ladder as I worked to build my career. And yet there I sat in a darkened room alone illuminated only by the screen of my laptop, with tears running down my cheeks.
All those goals I had set for myself, all the striving and achieving, had led me here. I had graduated with honors from an Ivy League school. I had turned my passion into a profession and used a camera to create a six-figure wedding photography business that took me around the world. I loved my work and the freedom and creativity it offered.
I had a broad network of friends and business contacts from around the country. I had married my high school sweetheart, and we were looking forward to starting a family one day. I had even discovered the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe and could make it without burning the edges. I was adulting on all cylindersby modern metrics of success, I had made it.
I should be joyfully living in my blissor whatever the self-help gurus say these daysbut I wasnt. I was sitting in my pitch-black office, literally and figuratively alone.
The only light in that dark, empty space that I could see wasnt a way out. It was my computer screen. Thousands of pixels served as both a gateway to the universe and a physical barrier between me and the outside world.
In that dimly lit office, I was a little girl sitting up against the glass window, watching the world go on outsidejust far enough away that she doesnt risk getting hurt by the challenges that come with living in community with others but close enough to realize just how much she was missing.
Living behind the screen made me successful in my career, but it also broke my heart.
The painful truth is that I found modern life to be incredibly isolating and competitive. I was communicating with others every minute of every day, and yet I was never truly connected to them.
All of my striving and hustling had left me longing for depth and belonging in what felt like a very shallow world. I needed help understanding why I felt so alienated, so unworthy of love and community. I wasnt sure how to overcome my persistent feelings of loneliness, but I did know one thing for certain:
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