Monica Ortega - The Power of Pivoting: How to Embrace Change and Create a Life You Love

The Power of Pivoting
How to Embrace Change and Create a Life You Love

Published by Monica Ortega
www.powerofpivoting.com

Copyright 2021 by Monica Ortega

All rights reserved. No copy of this book may be reproduced, copied, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means - other than for fair use such as reviews or quotations, without the permission from the publisher. For permissions contact: powerofpivoting@gmail.com

The author of this book does not provide any medical advice or prescribe any of the techniques discussed in this book as a form of treatment without the advice of a licensed physician. The author only intends to offer general information based on her own experiences. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any actions taken based on the content herein.

Discounted rates are available for books bought in bulk for sales promotion or corporate use. Special editions or signed copies can be arranged when purchased in bulk. For assistance in ordering contact powerofpivoting@gmail.com.

ISBN: 978-0-578-86275-0

E-book ISBN: 978-0-578-86276-7

Copyright: TXu002237724

Cover Design: Jelena Mirkovic

Editing: Jackie Rapetti and Carole Ortega

Interior Design: Rik Wild Seas Formatting

For more information or bulk ordering go to www.powerofpivoting.com

This book is dedicated to all of the lost and broken souls finding themselves in the middle of a pivot who need to hear Its ok to not be ok.

To those who were in my life, just doing the best they could with what they knew, thank you for the lessons.

And, of course, to my friends, family, and loved ones (old and new) who have stood by my side through it all! Yall are freaking rockstars!

Four years ago, my life did a complete 180 overnight. The ultimate pivot, for me, came when I found out that my then-husband had been cheating on me. While I was shocked and devastated, I had also spent the past few years living as a depressed shell of a person in an unhappy and emotionally abusive marriage. So when he finally came clean about his infidelity, it was as if a massive weight had lifted off my shoulders. I was free! I could start over! I got another chance! Within three days of finding out, I had a new place to live and the divorce papers written up. But more on that story later

Pivoting is a natural part of life. Change is inevitable. We see it when relationships end (and when they begin), careers change, money and friends come and go, and sometimes the entire world shifts (oh hey, 2020!). The key is to expect the unexpected, learn to lean into the pivot, prepare for the side effects and emotional baggage, and start using those setbacks as set-ups.

For a long time I defined my second chance as my life post-divorce, but Ive realized that, like everyone, my life has been constantly changing and shifting since the day that I was born. In this book Ill take you through some of the biggest changes and shifts in my life and the lessons Ive learned along the way.

Well break down tips and tools to help you make the best of these crazy times, and set up a plan to turn your next pivot into unimaginable success!

To kick things off, Ill leave (or start) you with my favorite quote from the movie Hope Floats.

Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but its the middle that counts. Remember that when you find yourself at the beginning.

~ Hope Floats

So much of who we are as adults and how we function day-to-day is a product of our childhood and how we were raised (thanks, mom and dad!) The key, with anything really, is to take the good stuff and make them habits and take the bad stuff and learn from the lessons. Right out of the gate we are taught that change is scary.

When I was ten years old my parents moved our family from the inner city of Lansing, Michigan to the suburbs and I got my first real dose of change. As a young impressionable girl whose main goal in life at the time was to be cool and well-liked, this meant a reinvention. I went from wearing oversized Starter jackets and swearing with the mean girls, to realizing seemingly overnight that this just wouldnt work in suburbia. I quickly became the class clown, started joining sports teams, and soon became a cheerleader. Well call these my chameleon years.

I even changed my name! Growing up my parents called me by my nickname Niki. But after a really cool new girl named Monica moved to town, and a really mean girl named Niki started in with her shenanigans, I decided to start going by my legal name: Monica. There was even an awkward year when I tried to be even MORE cool, and changed the spelling to Monika (it didnt stick).

The point being, so much of it, at that age, comes down to how we fit in (or dont) with our peers at school. Before we learn the art of the pivot, its all about reinvention. The bonus to these awkward years is that we learn a lot about what we like, and dont like, by trying lots of different things. Weve all had those awkward phases of trying out new fashion styles. It turns out pleather pants and leopard print was NOT a good lookweird!

So often, out of pure love and protection, our parents try to shield us from change. Right out of the gate, were taught that change is scary. As kids, were born fearless, ready to dive in and try it all. But over time we begin to develop comfort zones; the places we feel the safest where its least likely for bad things (aka changes) to happen. I am also a product of the generation cusp between Generation X and Generation Z or, as comedian Iliza Shlesinger refers to us, an elder millennial. This means that our grandparents grew up in the depression era, learning to hoard everything and play it VERY safe. They then taught our parents to get steady jobs and, while yes chase your dreams, be sure to provide for your family. Our parents, having mostly what they needed, then taught us to shoot for the moon! and anything is possible! But also be careful! and change is scary! Very mixed messaging. In turn, I learned to dream bigbut fear everything!

When changes started occurring in my life, I wasnt equipped to see them as opportunities quite yet. All I knew was to fit in and do my best. This fear of change later turned into a PLAN EVERYTHING mentality to try to control every outcome of my life. Well, that kind of thinking turns into a LOT of anxiety and, as we know, our plans rarely work out the way we expect them to.

By the time we turn 30, weve concocted a whole slew of things in our minds that could possibly go wrong. We begin to develop our comfort zones and while safe and cozy, many of us get stuck there and call it a day. We may think, Im scared of heights, so I guess Im not ever going to be an outdoorsy person or This job pays the bills and I never want to be broke, so I guess Ill stay here or Im not happy in this relationship, but I guess its better than nothing. Yikes!

When we start making compromises, we set ourselves up for a boring ho-hum kind of lifeand wheres the fun in that?! We only get one of these, so why not really go for it and have fun with the crazy things that develop along the way? Im a big fan of failing forward.

The same way that its important to figure out your motivation for becoming who you are (and who you want to be), its equally as important to really dig in and find out what your comfort zones are ACTUALLY protecting you from. Is your fear of heights REALLY keeping you inside?