Kathy Mantas - On Mothering Multiples: Complexities and Possibilities

On Mothering Multiples

On Mothering Multiples

Complexities and Possibilities

edited by

Kathy Mantas

DEMETER PRESS

Copyright 2016 Demeter Press

Individual copyright to their work is retained by the authors. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means without permission in writing from the publisher.

Funded by the Government of Canada Financ par la gouvernement du Canada

Demeter Press

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P. O. Box 13022

Bradford, ON L3Z 2Y5

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Demeter Press logo based on the sculpture Demeter by Maria-Luise Bodirsky

Printed and Bound in Canada

Front cover artwork: Mangalika Sriyani Meewalaarachchi, The endless spring of love, 2015, oil pastel drawing, 11.8 inches x 13.8 inches.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

On mothering multiples : complexities and possibilities / edited by Kathy Mantas.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-926452-78-4 (paperback)

1. Motherhood. 2. Mothers. 3. Multiple birth. 4. Multiple pregnancy. 5. Childbirth. 6. Conception. I. Mantas, Kathy, 1966-, author, editor

HQ759.O53 2016 306.8743 C2016-900333-7

To my daughter Seraphina Helana,
without whom this book would not have been written.

In memory of
my son Angelo Emmanuel

Similarly, in commemoration of all multiples
who were/are with us for a short while
but who are with us always in our hearts.

Table of Contents

Lynda P. Haddon and Bonnie L. Schultz

Kathy Mantas

Chapter One
Why Should We Not be Depressed?
A Population at Risk, and Problems with Traditional Understandings of Multiple Motherhood

Christie E. Bolch and Jane R. Fisher

Chapter Two
A Glimpse into a Multiple Birth Mothers Life

Bonnie L. Schultz

Chapter Three
Youre So Lucky

Suzanne Kamata

Chapter Four
A Triography of Polymaternity: Becoming Mamas to Triplets

Abigail L. Palko

Chapter Five
Notes from the Night Owl Feed

Kirsten Eve Beachy

Chapter Six
ART-i-facts: A Work in Progress

Kathy Mantas

Chapter Seven
Congratulations and Condolences: Incorporating Burden, Love, and Community in Identifying as a Mom
(Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Twins)

Erica Lucast Stonestreet

Chapter Eight
Surviving the Early Years: Parents of Multiples Trials and Tribulations of Finding and Accessing Suitable and Affordable Childcare

Jennifer Kelland and Rose Ricciardelli

Chapter Nine
The Art of Twinning

Victoria Team

Chapter Ten
Queer Parenting and the Revelation of Twins

Leslie Robertson and Kathryn Trevenen

Chapter Eleven
Side by Side, Always and Forever

Cathy Deschenes

Chapter Twelve
Tales of Survival from a Mother on the Edge: Listening to Love, Play, and Creativity

Celeste Snowber

Chapter Thirteen
Naming the Planets

Jessica Jennrich

Chapter Fourteen
Milkshake Lovers, Unite! Performing Infant Feeding: A Narrative of Theory and Practice

Terri Hawkes

Chapter Fifteen
Embryonic Motherhood: Interrogating the Rhetoric of Infertility, Assisted Reproductive Technology, and Mothers of Multiples in Tabloid Culture

Maria Novotny

Kathy Mantas

Acknowledgements

I am most appreciative of all the authors gathered on these pages who have contributed their provocative and evocative stories and essays with honesty and grace. I thank you for your patience, generosity, and insights. Your stories inspire and give me courage. It was a real honour to write and partake in this collection with you.

I would like to acknowledge Lynda P. Haddon and Bonnie L. Schultz for their bountiful foreword to this edited collection. I thank you for the many years of wisdom that you bring to this collection.

I would like to thank Mangalika Sriyani Meewalaarachchi for her hard work on the cover image of this book and for making mothering the subject of her art.

Within the organization of Demeter Press, I would like to thank Angie Deveau for her help with the early stages of the books conception (e.g., the call for papers). Similarly, I would like to express my sincere thanks to Andrea OReilly, publisher of Demeter Press, who from the beginning supported the creation of this book with patience, understanding, flexibility, and persistent nudges of encouragement and support. Likewise, I would like to thank Jesse OReilly-Conlin, the copy editor, for his assistance with the publication process.

I also give thanks to Lori Ann Manis, my proofreader, for her careful attention to MLA details and thoughtful approach to the editing process. It would have been impossible to meet the editing deadlines, in the middle and end stages of this process, without her ongoing support and expertise. Thank you!

My gratitude also extends to the editors of Performing Motherhood: Artistic, Activist, and Everyday Enactmentsespecially Amber E. Kinser and Terri Hawkesand, the editor of Intensive Mothering: The Cultural Contradictions of Modern Motherhood, Linda Rose Ennis, for sharing their wisdom and knowledge of the editing process with generosity, and their words of support.

My thanks also go to the tour guides and Kimberley Lyon, museum director of The Quints Museum, for being so giving of their time and their willingness to share their expertise with me this past July 2015. I also thank Patti Carr, museum director of North Bay and District Chamber of Commerce, for proofing and approving the final draft of my closing and for sharing with me the two photographs of the Dionne quintuplets, as infants and teenagers, found in the closing.

Additionally, I would like to thank Kimberley Weatherallthe former executive director of Multiple Births Canada (MBC)/Naissances Multiple Canada, board member and past chair for the International Council of Multiple Birth Organizations (ICOMBO)for introducing me to various multiple birth communities and her genuine interest in the book.

I also give thanks to the external reviewers for their time, support, and willingness to appraise this manuscript and offer thoughtful feedback.

Finally, I would like to extend my deep gratitude to my family; especially to my partner Roger, for his understanding and careful reading of my bookends (opening and closing) in the pre-external review phase of the process; my daughter Seraphina for keeping me grounded and feeding my muse; and my mother Pagona for her ongoing support and grandmothering as I worked, often into the night and through the weekends, to bring this edited collection to fruition.

For all this, I feel a deep sense of gratitude.

Foreword

LYNDA P. HADDON AND BONNIE L. SCHULTZ