Someday My Prince Will Come
True Adventures of a Wannabe Princess
J ERRAMY F INE
GOTHAM BOOKS
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Published by Gotham Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Copyright 2008 by Jerramy Fine
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Fine, Jerramy, 1977
Someday my prince will come: true adventures of a wannabe princess / by Jerramy Fine.
p. cm.
ISBN: 978-1-1012-1703-0
1. Fine, Jerramy, 19772. Fine, Jerramy, 1977Childhood and youth. 3. Young womenColoradoDenverBiography. 4. Young womenEnglandLondonBiography. 5. FantasyCase studies. 6. Phillips, Peter Mark Andrew, 19777. Anne, Princess Royal, daughter of Elizabeth II, Queen of Great Britain, 1950Family. 8. Windsor, House ofMiscellanea. 9. London (England)Social life and customs. 10. London (England)Biography. I. Title.
CT275.F5542A3 2008
978.8'83dc22 2007033967
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To my Knights in Shining Armor:
Michael Seymour, Jason Reeves, Iain Quirk,
Julian Connerty, and Richard Elsen
Without the limitless kindness, generosity, and dedication of these amazing men, this book literally could not have been written. Not only did they lead me through the darkness, but they renewed my faith in the power of goodand for both I will always be grateful.
Contents
Note from the Author
This is a true story. You have my word on that. But it is also a memoirmeaning Ive described events how I remember them and how I perceived them. I live in eternal fear of legal battles, so Ive changed some names and identifying details, created composites when necessary, and occasionally modified the time-line to suit the narrative flow. This book is meant to do nothing but entertain readers and inspire themand I hope it is always viewed in the harmless way in which it was written.
Someday My Prince Will Come
There is no use trying, said Alice. One cant believe impossible things. I daresay you havent had much practice, said the Queen. Why when I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes Ive believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
L EWIS C ARROLL
Prologue
When someone makes a decision, he is diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he never dreamed of when first making that decision.
P AULO C OELHO
I was very young, but I was drawn to my destiny as if by a magnet.
Lying on my bedroom floor and propped up on my elbows, I studied every word in that precious library book. The font was tiny and the pages themselves were almost half the size of my six-year-old self, but my future depended on this so I had to stay focused.
I carefully followed the intricate lines of the Windsor family tree and individually assessed each male name to see if it was suitable. So far, I had found an earl who was almost nine. An earl was okay, but nine was kind of old. Then there was the lord. The lord might have worked, but he was only four, probably still in preschool.
My finger slowly traced over each name and birth date, searching for the perfect combination. Then, as if it was being magically guided, my hand suddenly stopped.
Peter Mark Andrew Phillips. Born 1977.
He was my age! The only eligible English royal in the world that was my age.
I circled his name over and over with my little fingertip. And in that moment, for better or worse, I felt the direction of my life changing irrevocably.
One
There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality. Then there are those who turn one into the other.
D OUGLAS E VERETT
J erramy, as a friend, Im telling you that youre absolutely delusional.
Maxs voice boomed in the quiet Indian restaurant. No matter where we went in London, his loud New York accent never failed to make a scene, but Id given up pleading with him to tone it down.
No, Im not, I said defiantly. Think about it. How many girls actually say they want to become a princess and how many actually go out there and try to do it ?
Max looked me straight in the eye. And how many of those girls are under the age of seven?
Well, I guess he had a point. I was not under the age of seven. In fact, I was sixteen years older than seven. Id had sixteen years to come to my senses. But the simple fact remained: I was twenty-three years old and still believed that one day I would become a princess.
To be honest with you, I have no idea how it started. I cannot remember a time in my life when becoming a princess was not my main ambition. There was a time, I believe it was preschool, when all of my friends dreamed of becoming princesses too. But later, when my friends moved on and dreamed of becoming actresses, astronauts, and flight attendants, I still wanted to be a princess. Those same girls actually grew up and became lawyers, fashion buyers, and management consultants. I was still trying to become a princess.
I wasnt stupid. I knew this wasnt a career that my high school guidance counselor could help me with. I knew perfectly well that I couldnt just go out and get a Ph.D. in princess studies or buy a royal title off eBay and crown myself at my own coronation. If only! No, I was painfully aware that breaking into my chosen vocation was going to be far trickier than that.
But the thing was, unless I could biologically prove that I had real royal blood in my veins (which, for the record, I was working on), becoming a princess was sadly something I couldnt achieve through my own in de pen dent efforts. To legitimize my particular professional dream, I had to marry a prince. Simple as that.