Angela Levin - Harry: Conversations with the Prince--INCLUDES EXCLUSIVE ACCESS & INTERVIEWS WITH PRINCE HARRY: Conversations with the Prince

T he first thing Prince Harry said to me was: I know you have been following me around for quite some time, Angela, and wondered whether you would like to come over and ask me some questions?

By the way, he continued as he shook my hand, are you watching The Crown? [the Netflix drama that follows the life of Queen Elizabeth II from 1940 to today] I am, but I wish theyd stopped at the end of the first series. They absolutely must not move on to the younger generation. A firm handshake followed by a jokey one-liner was, I knew by then, Harrys default way of breaking the ice.

It was spring 2017 and we were talking in the visitors drawing room in Kensington Palace. He indicated that I should sit down on the pale khaki sofa, while he chose a peach-coloured corduroy armchair. Talking to a senior royal who doesnt like the press makes it difficult to know where to start. I was unsure how much time I would have with him and didnt want to waste it with small talk. I wanted an insightful conversation and decided to go for the Big Question, aware that if he felt it was too intrusive I could be asked to leave, but if it got through to him we could get on well.

I began: When you go on your royal visits do you also try to work through your own issues with the people you meet? I mean, is it a kind of therapy?

He was silent for more than a few seconds. Wow! he said. Thats a monster question to ask. There was a long pause, then he smiled. You are right, of course. We were on our way.

The prince held my eyes as he spoke, and he put a lot of energy into the conversation. He talked quickly and somewhat impatiently, as if he couldnt get the words out fast enough. He was polite and approachable, but firm when he didnt want to go further into a subject. If I voiced something he agreed with he would sometimes reply, Exactly. Then he would move on rather than expand on the topic. He is in a rush to make his mark and seems to treat life as a race, too. He explained: I want to make something of my life. I now feel there is just a smallish window when people are interested in me before [Prince] George and [Princess] Charlotte [his brother Williams children] take over and Ive got to make the most of it.

Our conversation was wide-ranging and, not surprisingly, soon turned to his late mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. He told me that the most important thing she did for him was to keep me safe.

It was one of many poignant moments during our conversation. This one goes straight to the heart of every child, rich or poor. Children need parents who make them feel safe and give them the right environment in which to grow and flourish. They also need to feel they are accepted and loved for who they are.

Without his mother, who died when he was twelve years old, Harry has had a really tough time. Her death changed him from being an adorable, mischievous boy who was beginning to comprehend what it meant to be third in line to the throne and forever one large step behind his big brother, into a wilful, impulsive pre-teen who, as he grew, behaved badly, rarely handed in his school work on time, drank and smoked too much, and connected with too many unsuitable girls. At times he seemed to be on a mission to self-destruct and a catastrophe waiting to happen, one that risked bringing shame on the whole royal family, even affect its future.

I believe that his ongoing longing to please his mother and remain a good boy in her eyes is the primary reason he has come back from his personal abyss. She is freeze-framed in his mind as a young woman of thirty-six, the same age incidentally as Meghan Markle when she and Harry got engaged. It comforts him to believe that Diana is still somehow in touch and aware of what he does, especially when it involves causes she cared about. I instinctively know what my mother would like me to do, he said. He has since stated that she was jumping up and down at the news of his engagement and looking forward to being a grandmother again.

Harry understands the pain of loss and being abandoned both professionally and personally, and uses this to inspire others to move on. He is perceptive and quick at cutting through to the essence of things and what is and isnt important. But he can get irritable and impatient if others arent up to speed.

I had the good fortune to follow Prince Harry on his various royal duties on and off for more than a year in 2016 and 2017 for Newsweek magazine. I watched how he behaved in a wide variety of situations and eventually I was given the chance to talk personally to him at Kensington Palace on more than one occasion.

At the time Harry had the reputation of being still something of a party boy, but as a committed royal watcher I had noticed a more serious side of him beginning to emerge. I told members of his support team, who grilled me several times before agreeing the project could go ahead, that I believed he was going through a transformation, finding a role for himself within the royal family, and that he at last wanted the public to take him more seriously. Luckily they thought I was spot on and told me they would put my request to Harry. It was important, they said, that they picked their timing carefully as he wasnt always in the right mood.

It took months of waiting and occasional polite emails reminding them I was still around before a trip to Nottingham to watch him in action was suggested. I turned up well in advance of Harrys arrival. He didnt say anything but looked straight at me for a couple of seconds and gave me the tiniest nod. So far so good, I thought.

Eventually I was offered a date and time to talk with him. One of the key things he wanted to get across was how much he longed to be something other than Prince Harry, which is perhaps why he can sometimes seem uncomfortable in his own skin. He also wants to be ordinary. In practice his ordinariness can only be a gesture while he has access to several palaces, is ferried around in limousines with blackened windows accompanied by outriders, and uses his incredible contacts to get what he wants. The top people he knows cover a wide cross-section and many do somersaults to ensure his wishes come true. Even his grandmother, the Queen, stretches boundaries to make him happy.

Nor do the public want him to be ordinary. Nearly everyone he met during the time I followed him on his royal duties, especially if they were under thirty, were in awe that an actual prince had come to see them. It was also why they listened so intently to what he said.

His ability to connect with people is far from ordinary too. Very few individuals could ask someone they had just met intimate questions about their state of mind without seeming intrusive, but Harry can and does.

I asked if he ever worried that too much ordinary might water down the royal brand and take away its mystery. Its a tricky balancing act, he agreed. We dont want to dilute the magic.

His journey from rebellious outsider to one of the worlds most popular royals has required much soul-searching. The toxic atmosphere of his home life during his childhood and the sudden death of his mother have left deep scars. Prince William has tried to work through his own problems and has seen the value of a warm home life through his wife Kate and her middle-class family. Harry has tried to do so through the charities he supports, which is much harder. He is also more emotional than his brother.

There is still some way to go, but now he has Meghan Markle by his side. The divorced American actress and glamorous feminist doesnt conform at all to the stereotype of a royal consort, but she knows what she wants and what Harry needs, which among other things is a bit of mothering. Like the best couples, he can also define himself through and with her and is fiercely protective of her needs, too. Dr David Starkey, the historian and constitutional expert, who I spent time with while writing the book, thinks they are a good match: The role of philanthropy is entrenched in both of them which will give wonderful opportunities to display the touchy-feely aspect of his mother.