Josephine Caminos OrÍa - Sobremesa: A Memoir of Food and Love in Thirteen Courses

F ood is a celebration, a way of bringing people together. It evokes two of our most urgent desires: to be nourished and to belong. We eat with all our sensesnot just taste, but sight, smell, touch, memory and imagination. Sometimes, what we crave mostthat moment of joycarries with it the story of a village, a culture or a community.

Like the United States, Argentina is comprised of immigrants: Italians, Spaniards, French, Germans, Arabs and Jews (among many others) whove blended with the natives. Gathering around a table and sharing meals has always beenand continues to be the glue that connects all these families together. Food is their shared point of commonality, that moment of synthesis in which cooking and love pass through fingers: from mother to daughter, from grandmother to granddaughter or to the menfolk with their fire and bread. They eat for more than sustenance. Food is an offering of heart and heritage for family, friends and guests alike. The table is where love is expressed, friendship is honored and, in an expansive way, a new cultural identity is born.

Argentina is a disorganized country in many ways, but we have a fantastic knack for putting together a sumptuous meal for our friends. Its one of our greatest characteristicssimple yet exuberant. This tradition is a matter of national pride, something at which we are world leaders. Its what we miss the most when we go abroad to work, live or travel. And its something to which any visitor to our homeland can attest. Eating asado with your loved ones is close to a religious experience; having a place at that meat-laden table is to occupy sacred space. The people we love most sit with us there. Meals are shared. Stories are told. And retold. We laugh together and cry together. We reminisce about where weve been and whats to come. And we live to tell about it at the next sobremesa .

In Argentina, sobremesas tableside chats can last for hours, often longer than the meal itself, thanks to the never-ending offerings of sweets, savory snacks, teas, coffees and sparkling wine. Sobremesa contains an air of ceremony. It provides a state of calm, along with a chance to shine. In this ritual of flowing conversation, ones true self is revealed once the food has been enjoyed and wine continues to flow. Sobremesa shatters the walls that separate us, blendingtranscendinglanguage altogether, opening pathways to intimacy and lifetime bonds with one another.

I agree with Josephine that sobremesa is where family is built. Its a place where we express ourselves with the affectionate tones of Italians and analyze one another as if in a Woody Allen film or group therapy session, where cultures, cuisines and flavors merge. It leaves us with a melting pot of ideas, customs and traditions to hang our hats on.

I met the Caminos family as a young girl when my family moved to Pittsburgh. They were among the few other Argentines who lived there, although they had a huge advantage over us as a family already comfortable moving between both cultures. While an unspoken complicity always existed, both of our families knew that we belonged to two worldsthe new world that was Pittsburgh, and the world of asados , gaucho cowboys and vineyards surrounded by mountains; the world of medialuna pastries made from fat and vitel ton Christmas recipes; the world of our dear grandmothersJosephines abuela Dorita and my Tete and French grandma Meme; the world where both our grandmas, with their love and patience, helped our mothers overcome their respective uprooting to raise their multicultural families.

I love the fact that Josephine didnt just find a love for Argentina in reconnecting with her familys past and heirloom recipes. Shes uncovered a sisterhood in sobremesa and wants to extend it to those who dont yet know about it, or who dont know what theyre missing. Its in the intimacy of our own kitchens that we join forces, connecting in the place that, for so many people and families, is a meeting point, a place where culture lives on and transforms itself.

Sobremesa taps our commonalities: the need to eat, the desire to share, the longing to belong, the craving to embrace a slower way of life. Today, during the unprecedented quarantine that has gripped our nations and world, I cant help but think taking the time to practice sobremesa could be a small step towards helping us navigate these uncertain times. While most of us are confined behind closed doors, we are also more connected than ever on a global level. We cant put words to the fear, isolation and lossof loved ones, of jobs, of our homes, of our support systemsthat we collectively awaken to each morning. We must bravely hold onto hope, love and, most importantly, one another.

Argentinas time-honored sobremesa tradition encourages us to do this. The down time and connectivity it fosters is essential to both our humanity and sanity.

Sofa Pescarmona

ENTREPRENEUR AND VITICULTURIST

CEO and Owner, Lagarde Winery and Fogn Restaurant in Mendoza, Argentina

sobremesa

/so. em.sa /

( noun ): time spent being present at the table, lingering over a meal in conversation well after the food is gone.

W ith parents who spoke between tongues, indiscriminately switching on and off between their native, River Plate Castellano , their learned English with heavy accents and their assault on both Spanglish , which often surfaced in the same conversationour family decidedly did not blend in. My parents made sure we never did. That we never would. Instead, day after day, year after year, we pledged allegiance to sobremesa , the lesser known ingredient of our Deep South, Argentine cuisine. Sobremesa set the table for a future I never saw coming, like the legions of ghosts and ancestors past who frequented my familys dining room. Theyd come in, pull up a chair and make themselves at home among rumpled napkins splotched with wine, Tang or coffee, glasses harboring the last dregs of a plump Malbec and torn sugar and Sweet'N Low packets. Some, from a distant past, were unknown to us. Others we loved and missed with every breath.